Wide Stance: the Larry Craig Quiz
1) How did Larry Craig respond to the allegation by a gay man that Craig "cruised" him for half an hour in a Boise REI store in 1994?
a. "What did he say? That I 'cruised' him? What is that, some kind of gay talk?"
b. "I don't go around anywhere hitting on men, and by God, if I did, I wouldn't do it in Boise, Idaho! Jiminy!"
c. "It's just my bad luck to be the type of man whose lewd actions are constantly being misconstrued as inappropriate."
2) Who is Leroy Williams?
a. The man who claimed to have had oral sex with Larry Craig in 2004 in a men's room in Washington's Union Station.
b. The man who claimed that Larry Craig came on to him in 1967 when they were in college.
c. The man whose claims in 1982 to have had sex with three Congressman when he was 17 prompted Larry Craig to issue a statement saying he wasn't one of them, even though no one had said he was.
3) True or false? You could scour the planet and never find a single heterosexual man wrongly accused of a homosexual act that would plead guilty "in hopes of making it go away."
4) What did Larry Craig say was one of the main things that led him to enlist in Mitt Romney's presidential campaign?"
a. "Have you seen him? My God, he's a beautiful man. Not that I'm gay or anything, because I'm not, but anyone with a pulse would be attracted to him."
b. "First and foremost, he has very strong family values. That's something I grew up with and believe in."
c. "Well, I'm certainly not going to support Giuliani. Did you know he once roomed with gay men? And when I say gay men, I mean men who are the exact opposite of me. Men who have sex in public bathrooms rather than in bed with their wives like I do."
5) Complete the opening line of Larry Craig's statement to reporters about his total lack of gayness: "Thank you all very much for ________________________"
a. coming out today.
b. making sure that the phrase 'wide stance' will be in the first paragraph of my obituary.
c. giving me the opportunity to repeat over and over again that I am not gay, I have never been gay, and I will never be gay. And anyone who doesn't believe it can blow me in a toilet stall.
ANSWERS: 1) b, 2) c, 3) True, 4) b, 5) a
Paul Slansky's quizzes will be a regular feature on 23/6 (236.com), the new satiric news site coming soon to a computer screen near you.
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I agree with scubasteve's comment of 8/29. Hetero- and homo-sexuality are gradational, as on the Kinsey scale. Few people are strictly pure straight or pure gay, though social pressure gets folks to say they are purely one way or the other. I once was in a "gay seniors" group, and almost all of the men had had successful marriages and 1 or more kids. Of course they were really more or less "bi" -- but bi is a dirty word, don't you know. It's so effed up, no????
The GOP has a Big Tent because of the Wide Stance taken by men like Larry Craig.
When I heard Criag, a US Senator entrusted to write Federal Laws, say that "he should have talked with a lawyer before he pleaded guilty," I experienced severe temporary cognitive dissonance
It's one thing to be homosexual. It's another thing entirely to look for anonymous sex in public bathrooms in highly public places.
Now, the GOP has forced Craig out...and claiming that it is "proof" that the GOP is responsive and prompt...u
A very creative method of making a valid point. It's nice to know there are still people with imagination out there.
John Gibson's e-mail segment yesterday featured a wing nut response to the Craig scandal. "...after hearing that police tape Senator Craig should have slapped that cop..."
I guess the right wing's support of cops goes out the window when it's one of their own being accused. What a bunch of hypocrites!
Sing it with me, Fall fans!
Get a hotel today
Go get a hotel today
Go get a hotel today
Before the idea slips away
Get a hotel
Go get a hotel today
That was the first question raised
There was a question raised
Get a hotel
Wanna get in
Wanna get in
But this is not the place to bring it up
Go get a hotel today
Go get a hotel today
Before the bike siren calls...
WIDE STANCE MY ASS!!!!!
One of the funniest pieces I have read in a long time. Oh so true.
FUNNIEST THREAD I'VE EVER READ. I'VE NEVER LAUGHED HARDER. I E-MAILED ALL MY FRIENDS TO PULL IT UP.
Religion, ethics, morality and common sense aside, I have yet to hear what specific law or local ordinance Craig is supposed to have broken. There was no contact, no vocal propositioning, nothing but some silly posturing under the partition. The officer's report does not mention any sexual content. Craig was told to leave the stall and the restroom where he was promptly arrested. Exactly where does lewd and lascivious conduct enter the picture? Craig qualifies for the Dunce Cap of the Month, but where the law is concerned, what is the evidence? A good attorney, even at this point, could probably get the charge dismissed for lack of evidence.
This column is witty, without a doubt. On a more serious note: self-respecting homosexuals
do not cruise restrooms. My stepson(yes, he is gay) was maximally grossed out by that particular behavior. He has been in a long-term, committed relationship which eschews the
perversion and promiscuity of "cruising". He is
a man with a sense of morality. I wonder if
Senator Craig can look himself in the mirror and make the same claim.
I anxiously await Mr. Slansky's new venture.Fu
Attempts to engage in anonymous public toilet sex (and getting caught in a stakeout) have been an issue in national politics before. Remember LBJ's trusted aide, family man Walter Jenkins, who was nabbed in a D.C. toilet? LBJ intervened once to get Jenkins's record expunged; the second arrest ended Jenkin's career, although the LBJ family continued to see the Jenkins family privately.
Some posters here want to write off Craig simply as a pervert. Obviously the senator was in mortal combat with his gay urges, deeply believing they were dirty. That fits with his anti-gay voting record, and his choice of a toilet when the urge overwhelmed his carefully constructed, politically useful straight persona.
Call me vindictive if you want but I have to admit I am enjoyong the hell out of the troubles the Republicians are having. I'M getting older now but am in good health. The only reason I mention this is cause I wan't to see a Democratic President and a great majority of Dems in the congress in Jan. 09. I have no trouble about cheneys daughter and her partner adopting but does any one else think grandpa is a big fat hypocrite.
Anyway you look at this situation, it is indeed a sad commentary on what is going on in this world. Sounds like we ought to listen to the lamentations of Jeremiah.
He ''hit'' in Minneapolis, Mn. and in Washington, D.C. not in Boise,Id. Jiminy!! And that ''beautiful'' man's web site supposedly deleted every reference that had ever been made to him. Romney's true colors not so beautiful. Loved Air America's Randy Rhodes saying that she didn't want to take pot shots at Craig.
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