"Witness to History": The Karl Rove Quiz

1) How did Karl Rove and George W. Bush meet?

a) Rove was working as Republican National Committee Chairman George H.W. Bush's assistant and one day his duties involved delivering a set of car keys to his boss's eldest son.

b) Rove was a star player on the Andover baseball team that Bush was a cheerleader for.

c) They both attended a Houston bonfire of Beatles records after John Lennon said the group was more popular than Jesus.

d) They sat next to each other on a plane, got to talking, and found that they both really loved to hurt people.

2) Which convicted Watergate conspirator was the young nerdy Karl Rove a protégé of?

a) Jeb Magruder.

b) G. Gordon Liddy.

c) H. R. (Bob) Haldeman.

d) Donald Segretti.

3) Which of these is a George W. Bush nickname for Karl Rove?

a) "My Brain."

b) "Blubber Boy."

c) "Turd Blossom."

d) "Roveewade."

4) During his grotesque appearance on stage at a recent Washington dinner for sycophantic White House correspondents, what did Karl Rove say was one of his hobbies?

a) Character assassination.

b) Tearing the heads off of small animals.

c) Watching snuff films.

d) Stuffing his porcine face with greasy food.

5) How did Karl Rove recall his first impression of George W. Bush?

a) "He was the kind of guy you'd sell your soul for if you were the kind of guy who had one to sell."

b) "So drunk he could barely stand up, reeking of vomit, with a coke smudge under his nose, and with all that it was clear he was presidential timber."

c) "Huge amounts of charisma, swagger, cowboy boots, flight jacket, wonderful smile, just charisma - you know, wow!"

d) "He was the kind of guy you'd want to give a blow job to if you were the kind of guy who knew you were gay."

Answers: 1) a, 2) d, 3) c, 4) b, 5) c

Paul Slansky's quizzes will be a regular feature on 23/6 (236.com), the new satiric news site coming soon to a computer screen near you.