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Dr. Peggy Drexler

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Will Hillary Ever Be One Of The Cool Kids?

Posted: 03/24/08 01:48 PM ET

Madeleine Albright once said, "Anybody who thinks the world would be a better place if run by women doesn't remember high school."

I think about that. I remember the power players in my own high school. And I think about Hillary Clinton and women voters.

Studies of adolescent female power reveal a world of alpha girls and beta girls. Women never forget which side of the social fault line on which they spent their formative years. Men, generally speaking, can't relate. Their social demarcations - less subtle, but likely not as lasting - tended toward wedgies and slamming people into lockers.

It is the alpha girls who rule fashion, determine dance steps, set the lexicon, assign seats in the cafeteria, and make the iron-fisted judgments about who is in and who is out. Certain alpha female chimpanzees maintain their dominance over their rivals by killing their young. High school girls just cause eating disorders.

The beta girls, by contrast an equally gross generalization, are accomplished. They get the grades. They excel in sports. They play instruments. They run the student council. They are known, but not revered.

Even if we reinvent ourselves in college, and then reinvent that reinvention as adults, I don't think any of us ever fully escapes the gravitational pull of our middle and high school years. The people you like now are very likely to be the same people you liked then.

All of which brings me back to Hillary Clinton.

Laura Sessions Stepp, who writes extensively about adolescents and families, wrote in a 2002 Washington Post article about "gamma girls." They are smart, accomplished, funny, friendly, so universally well-liked, that they transcend alpha and beta.

True, but I don't think the gammas are created whole. They came from the emotional ranks of alphas and betas, but just repackaged on the power of their intellectual and emotional intelligence.

I would say Hillary is a gamma, except for that part about being universally well liked. And there in lies the issue that her campaign doubtless finds maddening.

Is she the alpha girl who is winning just like she always did? Or is she the beta girl who, forgetting her place, wants to walk right past the cool kids table to sit in the most powerful chair on earth.

Either way, Hillary has a tough job dialing up just the right balance of toughness and femininity - so much so one assumes her speaking notes say: "sniffle here" ... "throw your head back and laugh easily here."

People don't hate Obama. They don't hate McCain. Opponents would simply rather they not be elected president.

What exactly did she do to arouse such emotions among the ranks of the female Hillary haters?

There are many interesting theories.

There is the argument that professional woman don't like her because no matter what they accomplished, she has accomplished more. This is a woman who was chosen to give the valedictory address at the Wellesley convocation. Not content to tell the assemblage to change the world and smell the roses, she polled the student body, solicited ideas and poems, beautifully captured the turmoil and hope of the times, got a standing ovation, and her speech was featured in Life Magazine. Top that, miss thing!

Older women - who, in fairness, are also among her strongest supporters - don't like her because she is too much like a man - willing to do what a girl's gotta do to get what she wants. If there is a collateral body count -- well, suck it up, wuss-boy.

Younger women don't like her because she is one of the over 50, empty nested, cohort of women prone to experiencing their own private summers who Tina Brown recently profiled in a Newsweek column. "Written on their forehead everyday," she wrote," is "Invisible Woman" ... women who "find themselves steadfastly dissed and ignored." To a certain generation, then, she's still not one of the cool kids.

Maybe I'm making too much of this. Maybe it's like Madonna said when Elliott Spitzer was chasing Martha Stewart through the underbrush. "There seems to be something about blond, powerful women that just pisses people off."

But I think I'm on to something.

Try this: Ask your friends who Hillary reminds them of among the girls in their high school. Almost everybody has an answer.

 
 
 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ken Volok
01:49 AM on 03/27/2008
Come to think of it, the girl from High School that Hillary Clinton most reminds me of, was a staunch, bitter Reagan Republican. Her locker, above mine- was plastered with photographs of Reagan. We frequently argued needless to say. I remember being stunned that anyone who went to a Christian School would support Reagan's actions and policies. It seemed like such the polar opposite of what we were being taught in religion class. And I was into punk rock by that time!
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leftLibertarian
Don't vote for Obama or Romney
09:11 PM on 03/25/2008
The only thing that matters to me is that Hillary Clinton voted for the Iraq War Resolution which gave Baby Bush the green light to invade a country which never harmed us.
09:07 PM on 03/25/2008
How about instead of talking about high school politics and "which is worse, racism or sexism" we focus on the real differences between the candidates? Like the fact that one supported the war in Iraq and the other didn't? If Obama were facing any other opponent who had voted for the war in a two-way race the nomination would have been his a long time ago. For some reason, though, HRC has gotten a free pass on this issue...must be that "in the bag for Obama" press...
06:23 PM on 03/25/2008
Hello. The in kids in school were elite establishment conformist sheep. Outsiders were We The People. He/she who stands alone changes the world. Compassion and fairness in government is no longer popular. In this the evil-is-hip era, we need someone who is so not cool. For today, cool is evil.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
AxelDC
05:49 PM on 03/25/2008
Clinton is a faux feminist. She desperately wants to be the first female president, but is relying on her husband's name and accomplishments and presents them as her own. She seems to think that her cause is the cause of women, and brands those who don't support her as "sexist". She carries a huge sense of entitlement, such that her husband's former advisers are "Judas" if they don't support her, and she thinks the Democratic elite should save her from the will of the people.

Let's not even talk about her honestly issues, which are finally seeing the light of day. In short, I just don't like her for her flawed, smug, arrogant personality. She isn't half as smart as she thinks she is, and the disastrous way she has run her campaign proves it.
03:05 PM on 03/25/2008
Hillary Clinton doesn't remind me of anyone in high school, but I do think Drexler's analogy is a good one. The campaign itself is already like a bad reality show set in a high school cafeteria, so I guess it makes sense to talk about the candidates as if they're in high school.

I do wonder though: is it possible to dislike Hillary Clinton for valid reasons like her votes for the Iraq war and the Kyl-Lieberman resolution? Is it possible that I, as a woman, can admire her intellect and accomplishments and still be critical of some of her policies? Or is she exempt from criticism because she's the first viable woman candidate for president? Is that the rule?

Can I criticize the misogynistic and sexist attacks against Hillary and still not vote for her? Or am I as a woman not allowed to think for myself? Am I supposed to just follow Clinton slavishly?

Please school me on the rules of 21st century feminism as it relates to Clinton's candidacy. Clearly, judging her on her actual record in the senate means I can only be a jealous, self-hating woman as opposed to a voter who thinks for herself.

And, of course, if I'm not supporting Hillary, that HAS to be because I'm supporting the new kid on the block, Barack.

Neither candidate inspires me. I've got reservations about both of them regarding the way they've voted in the senate on issues of importance to me.
12:56 PM on 03/25/2008
38 years ago, Hillary accompllished alot . She's done little of note since.

People don't like her because she still thinks she deserves to be President just because she got into Yale in the 70's. Todays women are not so impressed.
10:32 AM on 03/25/2008
On the "Likeability" Factor.
09:08 AM on 03/25/2008
I don't like her because I think it sets a horrible precedent that the first woman with a shot at the White House 1) wouldn't have the shot but for her husband's power. 2) broke this "new ground" by being the same old thing but in a pantsuit instead of truly blazing new ground.
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dadw5boys
Disabled Vietnam Vet
07:06 AM on 03/25/2008
If allow that Highschool social crap to become a fixed part of your personality then you deserve what you got. It's just school no matter how much you want it to be more it is a training ground for life.
03:56 AM on 03/25/2008
Hillary reminds me of ME in high school, and the "gamma girl" definition aptly explains it (if you allow for the alpha that became my true nature in the world of men).
03:12 AM on 03/25/2008
"Try this: Ask your friends who Hillary reminds them of among the girls in their high school. Almost everybody has an answer."
01:17 AM on 03/25/2008
The media did a major job on Al Gore when he was running for president. He was portrayed as so UnCool-such a geek. & George Bush was portrayed as the fun, personable guy.
12:23 AM on 03/25/2008
I couldn't care less if what type of girl she was or is. The point is she can run this country.
09:37 PM on 03/25/2008
AXH -- She can run this country? Yeah, she could run this country -- into the ground. Have you noted the way she runs her campaign? Did you check out her first lady day book/schedules? Were you pleased with the duck and dash across the tarmac in Bosnia...oh, wait, she misspoke...not snipers, just kids with flowers and poems. That is definitely the kind of 'experience' we need to 'run the country.'
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10:32 PM on 03/24/2008
"I would say Hillary is a gamma, except for that part about being universally well liked."