The 7 Habits Of Highly Spiritual People

In truth, that headline is misleading. This list is merely a starter set, not the be-all and end-all assuring spiritual bliss. (And what's so mystical about the number 7 anyway, other than that it appears to boost book sales?) As the unofficial and self-declared Stephen Covey of spirituality, I add this encouraging caveat: just like bad habits you can't break, the same can be said of good habits. Try some of these, reap the rewards -- those would be love for and from others, love for
yourself, love in general -- and they will become addictive, giving rise to many other random acts of spiritual goodness that will take over your life. Happy holy days.

#1
Highly Spiritual People Give Rather Than Take.
To give is indeed divine. Some research on altruism suggests people commit selfless deeds precisely because such acts make them feel good, therefore refuting the notion of selflessness. Hogwash. Is breathing selfish? If we didn't give, and give generously, we'd die. I really believe that. Giving is human nature; it's just that we forget our own Spirit-Nature sometimes. Giving can take many forms; simply paying attention to someone is a gift.

#2
They Say Yes More Than They Say No.
Naysayers are a downer. "No" closes our hearts like cholesterol. (Naturally, this excludes saying "No" to drugs or other self-destructive, noxious or illegal behaviors.) "Yes" affirms life. People
always would rather hear yes rather no. Unless it's when you ask your doctor, "Do I have herpes?"

#3
They See Possibilities, Not Problems.
As Shunryu Suzuki writes: "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few." And this may be the only time you hear Norman Vincent Peale quoted right after Suzuki-roshi, but there is something to the power of positive thinking, if not "The Power of Positive Thinking." Spiritual people are optimists. They believe in belief. They are the lemon-to-lemonade folks, the problems-as-opportunites advocates, the positive spin
Masters.

#4
They Walk A Mile in Your Shoes.
They understand that empathy means feeling another's pain but not so much that they take on others' pain and become another's pain. With that empathy, they tend to know exactly what to say or do for you to make you feel better. In gratitude, we say to them, "You are a saint." Even when we do not mean it literally, it is true -- literally.

#5
They Count Blessings in Small Wonders.
They do not expect Spirit to appear accompanied by fire and brimstone and a big neon sign flashing in the sky. They are not waiting for the Big A-ha. Nor are they waiting for the cure to cancer, the job promotion, or the love of a lifetime. They appreciate the tiny details: the smile of a child, the sparkle in an old person's eyes, the morning's first ray of sunlight. While others have recommended not to sweat the bad small stuff, spiritual people savor the good small stuff.

#6
They Give Compliments Generously, Accept Them with Humility.
There is no limit to people's need for praise and appreciation. I suspect that even Donald Trump deep down is desperate for a compliment. Spiritual people do not see people's "need" for support as a weakness or flaw. They see it as a cry for love, and they comply without hesitation. On the other hand, those who respond to a compliment with grandiose objections and deflections, who cannot accept a compliment with grace, probably feel they are not worthy of it. But they are worthy of it. Even the Don is worthy of it.

#7
They Worship Where and When the Spirit Moves Them.
They don't need a temple or church to practice their spirituality, nor do they need a Sunday morning service at 10 a.m. They don't even need a rabbi or a priest or a lama or sensei. Their spiritual setting is a forest, a beach, a mountain top. Their setting is a movable spiritual feast, for they know the true spiritual setting is within. And it travels with, and within, them wherever they go.

And a year-end bonus:
#8
They Laugh a Lot
Have you noticed? Santa ho-ho-ho's his way down the chimney. The Dalai Lama giggles his way to enlightenment. Alfred E. Neuman has that eternal grin. The Laughing Buddha is, well, laughing. Spiritual people are happy. Not just the smiley-face kind of happy, but the deep-down-content kind of happy. If you have trouble getting to happy, try this trick I learned years ago from no less a sage source than the musical "Bye Bye Birdie": "Just put on a happy face." The act of smiling alone triggers a happy hormonal shift, from "gloomy mask of tragedy" to "spreading sunshine all over the place." And what could be more spiritual than that?

Follow Perry Garfinkel on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Perry Garfinkel

Comments

[msabbynormal]

I have perceived that some of the people I've met who claimed to be religious or christian were people who were actually very afraid -- and I'll go out on a limb to suggest that the harder we grasp at/cling to whatever crutch we find ourselves leaning on (religion being high on that list) is in direct proportion to our level of fear or lack of it. And fear is, of course, one of the manners in which despots can control the masses. I saw a show about it once on The Learning Channel or some such.
I view the advertising media as a despot, for the most part (news often not much better). They sell us by telling us we'll be younger, prettier, more loved, etc., by using their product. What does that have to do with religion? Something, I'm sure. Wait--I've got it! Body of Christ Wafers by Nabisco--Convenient, quick 'n' easy, eat 'em any time you like, eat 'em as often as you like! Zero calories but chock full o' the Spirit! You'll be more saved than the next guy. Just make sure not to run out, otherwise you're @#@#ed. And, let's see... Starbucks is continuing the branching out of its coffee business with Blood of Christ Vino...
Speaking of Starbucks, their use of a mermaid as their logo is quite intriguing. Mermaid lore includes them using their lovely voices to lure ships to their doom...
[I come to realize I'm greatly afraid that if I don't have my morning cuppa joe I'll fall asleep while watching the Hour of Power.]

[Orikinla]

What of the so called spiritualists who charge fees?

What makes the Dalai Lama more spiritual than you and I?
Is it his title or his toga?

[Maxbyte]

Here's Habit #8: Highly religious people have no tolerance for logic or reason.

My Mother was highly religious. She spent her entire life reading the KJ version of the Bible, and reading her church's literature. Yet she was the most divisive individual I have ever known, and she nearly destroyed our family after my father's death.

My Father was not particularly religious, outwardly. A dairy farmer, he worked very long, hard days after WWII until his death. He had to because Mother wouldn't lift a hand to help feed herself or her kids.

While my Father cannot be said to have been religious in the usual meaning of the word, he saw more of God in a sprout of grass than others could see in anything around them.

I would contend that religion, per se, has divided the world far more than it has united it, from the beginning of human history. Examples include:

Medieval Crusades [ongoing];
Falwell's bigotry;
"Fallen" religious leaders, like Haggard;
Intolerance for diversity;
Tendency not to post critical comments.

[lamarguerite]

My favorite is #8. In my book, laughter, humor and play are the highest emanations of the spirit.

Let us be like the little child again, laughing merrily, and not consumed by fears, and greed, and jealousy,. . .

Being at ease in one own's skin is another necessary condition. This does not mean being self-centered.

http://lamargueritel.wordpress.com

[MissingAmerica]

Change starts with one individual. We can each be the change. I am certain I will never reach that state of perfect peace which was achieved by Buddha, the Christ, and others. But each moment I live in peace brings me to another peaceful moment. They add up. Thanks for reminding us how to achieve a little balance in our lives.

[Winkling]

Highly spiritual people understand life as a series of events, not objects. Objects, in fact the whole physical plane, come together from disparate locations for a period of time to create a perceived object, then eventually return to disparate locations. Is a football game an object, or an event? How about the football? Perception is everything. Time is the variable.

The spiritual person knows that objects can't be taken with you, but the experiences of life remain with the soul for all eternity. The richest people in life treasure their experiences instead of their objects.

[Quaoar]

Most of these things apply equally well to people who are non-religious and non-spiritual.

[lehrbob007]

I refuse to put all my eggs in one spiritual basket and try to be open-minded to the endless posibilities. What's worse than a fudamentalist christian??????? The answer is a fundamentalist anything - jew, krishnan, atheist, muslim, conservative, liberal, etc. All are self-centered enough to declare "I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG!" - a familiar and sickening rationalization for many wars and conflicts, abroad, regionally and in our homes. All I know is you's folks bickerin is STUPID - as you try to WILL others into your fashion/philosophy. A spiritual person doesn't try to will his philosophy/wishes on anyone. He listens with empathy and graciously speaks their language. What a bunch o' rookies! Further proof that most people live in a dream state!

[whatsthatsound]

Why there almost certainly isn't a Richard Dawkins.

First of all, I have never met him personally. I have seen images of "him" and read words purported to be written by him, but what does that prove?
I have heard many people relate how "his" words have uplifted and inspired them, and how their lives have been profoundly changed and enhanced by "his" teachings, but why should I believe them?
And what are these teachings, by the way? His cosmology has to do with a vast, superhuman force called "Natural Selection" and he worships a holy book called "The Origin of Species" brought out by a bearded prophet named Charles Darwin.
Furthermore, even if he DID exist, in a universe that is hundreds of billions of years old, his mere seven or eight decades of life would give him something like a statistically negligible 0.0000000001 temporal existence.
Therefore, I am almost absolutely certain that Richard Dawkins can be put in that same dustbin of history that holds the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[bethinCary]

I would add that a person NEEDS to really ask themselves: "Why am I here", "Do I have a soul-do I listen to my soul?" "What am I?" "Am I matter-am I just continued wavelengths?".
A stupid thing to do?
From some of the posts here-I don't think so.
People can dissect each one of the spiritual measures listed above-but until a person actually confronts the self and truly begins to think about these questions about life, these measures will not make sense.
The real question then becomes-do you want to continue on your present course of life and not change-or are you going to do the work,ask yourselves these things and legitimately TRY? People want change right now: economic, self, foreign policy, political...but unless one is willing to look at themself first as someone to change-you can't really expect to get far changing the world, our country...
We were given a mind/brain for a reason-not to choose to take a pill, or embrace an easy-button;though that is what the corporate world would like you to believe.
Finding spirituality embaraces neither.
Take the time to ask yourself these things about life. As the saying goes-a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

[Anastasia]

All of these "habits" are terrific guide posts for living in the modern world. However, #3 - the power of positive thinking, is often misconstrued and misunderstood by many.

Magical thinking, and the belief that positive thinking automatically results in a positive outcome, has become the mantra of such self help entities such as "The Secret". Far too many people, simply omit #4 and assume that when bad things happen to someone, it's because they weren't being positive enough.

Sometimes, despite all efforts, we fail and/or circumstances are simply beyond anyone's control.

[scoobynooby]

Spiritual People and all theier attributes are what makes the world a Good Place. I see no humor in thier deeds but I do see great benifit to society. We need more truly spiritual people in the world. Yes human kind can mimick these attributes but when they are genuine there is no confusing them.

[ladyfractal]

Nice list. But I would say that these are the seven traits of a dedicated humanist, with the exception of #6 which I would merely rephrase as "they do not need a church, temple or mosque to feel awe". I am a non-theistic Buddhist whose world-view is entirely naturalistic. I have no use for or truck with souls, spirits, gods, goddesses, Flying Spaghetti Monsters (Peace and Sauce be upon Her, Ramen), the Invisible Pink Unicorn (may her magical unicorn pee forever flow) astrology, psi or Great Cthulhu in the Sleeping City of Ry'leh. It is enough that I am here, that I make whatever impact I can, try to leave the place a little nicer than when I got here, and that I attempt to do so with humility. That's really and truly enough.

Am I a 'spiritual' person? No, I'm not, not in the conventional sense of that word.

Cheers
Aj

[tedlove]

you forgot #8: suicide bombing.

yay faith!

[wondering]

Realizing that you meant to be humorous, I went back and re-read the article. I found this comedic gem:

"They Say Yes More Than They Say No.

Naysayers are a downer. 'No' closes our hearts like cholesterol. (Naturally, this excludes saying 'No' to drugs or other self-destructive, noxious or illegal behaviors.) 'Yes' affirms life. People always would rather hear yes rather no. Unless it's when you ask your doctor, 'Do I have herpes?' "

Priceless! "They say yes more than they say no" followed by "Do I have herpes?" Hee hee! Watch out Christian girls - if you say yes too often, you'll be visiting the doctor on a regular basis.