Bush May Be Stupid, But He's No Fool: The Bailout and the Final Repeal of the 20th Century

As I write this, there has been no bailout passed and enacted, no $999 gazillion dollars has been deposited directly into Henry Paulson's off-shore account, and no CEOs in the last 48 hours have been granted $800 septillion dollar bonuses for turning their once-vibrant companies into a fecal smear. And yet, friends, as John McCain might say, my friends, look at the Big Board: The Dow is up 200 points in lively trading and we're back up over the 11,000 mark. So forgive me for asking, but: Is this particular Handout (I mean Bailout, sorry!) really necessary? As electoral-vote.com put it this morning:

When you read that this "crisis" is about economics, don't believe a word of it. It is 100% politics, pure and simple. Yes, something needs to be done, but if the markets know that Congress is working on it, they will wait a few weeks before dissolving in a puddle.

Machiavelli's treatise on the ruthlessly effective exercise of political power was, of course, entitled The Prince. Had he based his analysis on the Bush era, however, it might better be The Jester. Look around you and everywhere are telltale signs of the bad news: as much as we have ignored him of late, written him off and awaited his demise, the truth is it's George W. Bush's world, and we're just being foreclosed in it.

How does Bush rule with such an iron grasp? It's the stupidity, stupid!

At the most crucial moments, the Worst President Ever (WPE) always seems even more flummoxed, unintelligent, and brain-damaged than usual. The key word here is seems. Like this week. Every comment and speech has been grist for The Daily Show's mill. But if you've been paying attention, you'll know: whenever, in this interminable presidency, The WPE serves up a WTF-burger with a side order of extra-stoopid, your bullcrap detector should be in full red mode.

Careful historical analysis reveals a pattern to Bush's presidential vacuity. There's an algorithm at work here: the level of intelligence he displays is always in inverse proportion to the grand vileness of the plot he is hatching. The greater the evil, the dumberer he acts. I'm saying that George W. Bush may be stupid, but he's no fool. In a humble, folksy twist on Machiavelli, he uses his stupidity for political gain. And that's precisely what's going on right now.

Picture, if you will, a graph of W's stupidity -- call it the Idiometer. There are spikes at vaious places on the graph: immediately following 9/11 when the Patriot Act was being passed; in the buildup to the invasion of Iraq when the administration was dog-and-ponying up a stable full of false evidence; when the media belatedly turned as WMDs turned out to be non-existent; and again when it was time to sell the Surge and stay the course in Iraq despite all common logic.

At each of these most notably despicable moments in or recent political history, Bush's misnomers and gaffes, his goofball locutions, his deer-in-headlights stares, and his embarrassing gaps in knowledge all hit extreme highs.

Now superimpose on this graph another one, known as the Catastrophonic Instrument, where moments are ranked higher or lower depending on the disastrousness of their consequences, the spectacular nature of their historic awfulness.

Hey, Prof, this graph is virtually identical to the Idiometer!

Since last week, W has been staging a one-man Moron-a-thon -- kind of like the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon but held to raise money for a little-known charity called Save The Billionaires. There's always a plan behind the W dumb-show. So what is this telltale spike in presidential tomfoolery telling us this time?

Simple. It's the Republicans trying to buy a nice big set of handcuffs for President Obama -- or anyone else, for a long time to come. When the funds transfers are complete, be it in installments or one spectacular $700 billion tranche, there will be virtually no new social spending possible. There will be no way to lower taxes on the middle class. There will be no way to enact health care reform. There will be no means for the federal government to effectively run many existing programs, which will lend luster to the Republican calls for privatization of Social Security. All of the potential good that could come from finally jettisoning the anti-New Deal Party (because, let's face it, that's all the Republican platforms have amounted to from Goldwater to Reagan to Gingrich to W) will be lost in the tranches of capital diverted to those who need it least. The Gilded Age will come to look like Sweden by comparison. Tranche Warfare -- the elite vs. everyone else. That, my fellow Americans, is the Plan. Bush is playing dumb so we won't notice that his final stroke in office will be to make the Republican Revolution permanent and impossible to repeal for decades to come.

Exit into history, the Reaganites and the Bushies, repairing to the feast where caviar and foie gras are served and real power is consolidated. There will be two history books in the end: ours, wherein Bush was a moron, truly the WPE. And theirs, where his legendary dumb show provided the perfect cover for the Repeal of the 20th Century. That goofy sound you hear is the Worst President Ever, laughing all the way to the banquet.

Comments

[dailyreader]

This is the best article I have read -- insightful. I hope this article makes it to the front pages of The Washington Post and New York Times.

[homeromj]

There is no way that I can honestly let myself even contemplate that the chimp-in-chief has the smarts to pull off the kind of grand scheme as the one Mr. Cenedella suggests. But that being said, I recall from the 2000 elections the point raised about the chimper's foreign policy experience as governor of Texas. The talking point reply from the reich wing was that he would surround himself with smart people. Unfortunately for this great country, he has thoughtlessly allowed (not personally selected) a huge number of conservative, ideologically driven zombie loyalists to infect the government at every level possible. These are people that zealously cling to the rovian/norquistian idea of a perpetual rethuglican majority that eliminates the federal government and converts America to a coast-to-coast sized strip mall with privatization as its master. Looking at Mr. Cenedella's theory that the proposed bailout is a $700 billion pair of handcuffs would have, before 1999, been nothing more than just partisan liberal conspiracy theory fiction. But after the last eight years of seeing how far the radical right is willing to go in order to realize their dreams of dominance, I am beginning to fear that there really is a monster underneath my bed.

[timezone]

I fear the very same politicians and "expert" analysts that helped create, and even profited from, our economic situation are NOW trying to get even more money from the taxpayer, and could put us in an even greater crisis. Many Reps are calling for less regulation and less corporate tax, AGAIN looking out for the rich, while the middle class pays for it. IF there has to be a bail out, we should know exactly what the taxpayer will get out of it, that there will be a BIG cap on those CEO's salaries, and a thorough investigation and jail time, for the politicians and corporate leaders who put us in this position. It's insulting for the White House to think we will just write them ANOTHER blank check! There were well paid "watchers" whose job was to watch over us and the U.S. economy, who instead lined their own pockets. We have to insure that doesn't happen again. There's the saying, "fool me once,", but wait, we have been fooled more than once by voting Bush in for a second term, let's not be fooled again.

[All in All]

Ding-Ding, Ding-Ding, Jackpot!

[BitterRoot]

There's this tiny siren that has been blowing in my ear the past few days, but I couldn't figure out why. Knowing the history and predilections of the current (mis)administration, the timing of this latest "disaster", coupled with the urgency (desperation?) in Paulson's entreaties, I knew something was afoot, but it just wouldn't crystallize for me. Now, thanks to Mr. Cenedella, the sirens have stopped and I can see clearly what is happening.

[wendynyc]

Checkout this link what 8 years of this President and six years of Republican rule in Congress has done to our country:

Current Rank - cash oh hand as of 2007:

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2187rank.html

[doxiesrule]

So now I am wondering about the timing of the WaMu sale....smells suspiciously like yellow cake uranium to me....or has Bush turned me into a conspiracy theorist??

[nowalnuts]

Not that being bad at it hasn't worked.

[nowalnuts]

Totally. He's pretty bad at it too because he always says what he actually means first, then has to correct himself. Things like, " This will be a big hurt to Americans, uh, I mean it will help Americans."

[CAPTAINSKIPPY]

It may be a long wait for Congress to come to a sensible proposal, but why not compromise by tying the $700 Billion BAILOUT to a $700 Billion Tax Cut for middle class Americans?

[Pete Cenedella - Huffpost Blogger]

This is totally off point, but are you the legendary Captain Skip who cleans up old audio tapes of great live shows? LOL, just wondering!

[frynpan]

Thought I was the only one thinking this was another sinister GOP plot. I so hope the voters don't fall for it, and that the votes actually count.... Will get really serious on that move to Canada anyway.

[ld]

Thanks for the observation about the relationship between Bush's "idiocy" and the level of evil, you're dead on! I hadn't noticed that before you pointed it out. I think the same thing applied to Reagan as well.

I believe you are correct about the Bushies (who do not represent all Republicans) minimally wanting to handcuff the next administration. I've been telling that to everyone I know. You should also note that this may be part of a drive to privatize the treasury, and if so that would be even worse than the objectives you describe. I have to say that privatizing the treasury would be literally the end of the Republic, much as I hate to be alarmist.

[Donald-Iowa]

At last, the perfect explanation to why McCain selected Sarah Palin. It''s all been a plot from the very beginning to insure a Republican lose in November and to saddle the Democrats with the Presidency for the next four years.

I can hear Rush Limbaugh increasing the volume now on his rants and raves about how the Democrats should be blamed for the terrible mess they've dragged us into, and the Faux Fox Networks can abandon all pretext at being "Fair & Balanced" and just run Republican propaganda 24/7.

In 4 years no Democrat will be able to run for dog-catcher anywhere in the US and the Republicans can march back into office with banners flying as the saviors of the Constitution, but who will be around to cheer their re-entry into the Palace ?

[darker]

I've had it with the republican messes .
I can't vote for corrupt Republican LIARS.

I CAN'T AFFORD REPUBLICANS ANY MORE! NO MORE YEARS!
REPUBLICANS PROVED they cannot govern and don't want to learn how to.

My vote's going for common sense management: Obama-Biden.

[pithy]

After today, I'm convinced McSame is going to (1) reject the Dems plan (2) show up at the debate with a totally different plan (3) be seen as a hero by the vast number of people who are outraged by this whole emergency "collapse."

He throws the dice and if he's lucky, he really could steal this election - Americans (myself included) are furious at the need for this bailout.

Sen. Shelby, when he left the meeting at the White House, had a stack of papers he said was from economists from Harvard, Princeton, etc. who objected to the plan as it stands and had other ideas on how to deal with the problem.

I've felt all along this was the "October" surprise - you watch and see if McSame doesn't pull it off.

Oh, God - if he does - oh, God.

[Pete Cenedella - Huffpost Blogger]

I think you're on to something, Pithy. And this goes to the point I've been making -- To them who claim the populist ideology go the electoral spoils. Obama had his chance, and he exhibited some wonderfully grown-up traits like caution and deliberation. But if you get out-Man-of-the-Peopled, you lose.

[alexis d]

I doubt it. I think this crap is pretty transparent to most of America at this point. We're all utterly disgusted. I'm still knocking wood, though.

[JBS]

You should be even more furious. There IS NO NEED for this bailout at all. It's one last giant raid on the treasury; one last gasp attempt to drown the U.S. government in a bathtub.

This bailout won't help anyone but Wall Street THIEVES.

It won't do a thing about the problems that are really dragging the economy down - people losing their jobs and their homes. It won't create one single job, and it won't stop one single foreclosure.

[Barryson]

A wonderful article! You expressed my thoughts better than I could.

Thanks.