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Peter Baksa

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Surefire Steps to a Life of Happiness and Joy

Posted: 06/18/11 10:03 AM ET

As a starting point, I think it's safe to say everyone is seeking happiness. But what exactly will bring us lasting happiness or as I would call "joy" ? How do we go about finding it? That's where the views start diverging.

What I find troubling about some LOA (Law of attraction) perspectives is the advice to pursue whatever "feels good." I was re-reading my own book "The Point Of Power" and I noticed that I used a similar descriptive. I now realize how this wording can be severely misconstrued inaccurately. The wildly popular movie "The Secret" goes so far as to say anything we think will make us feel good is fair game -- a million dollars, a dream house, a sexy red sports car. It goes on to imply that each of us has some sort of supernatural power to make the world do our bidding, suggesting that we each are the center of the universe. It also implies that spiritual growth is all about fun, lightness, and pleasure as we jump from one blissful experience to the next.

Let's bring this all back down to earth. In my experience, what "feels good" is a pretty faulty indicator of what's in our best interest. All we need to do is remember the last time we indulged in a gallon of ice cream or six shots of Don Julio Anejo tequila to know that. And I'm sure we've all experienced what usually happens after we get that one thing we wanted so much. The grass quickly starts looking greener on the other side.

Lau Tzu (founder of Taoism) posits that self-discipline is the back bone of self respect. I have run 3-5 miles per day followed by a swim and weight workout beginning at the age of 14 through today. There is nothing more joyful then feeling great about your body's condition yet the path does not necessarily feel all that great some days. Having built several companies from scratch myself; I have felt the exhilaration of seeing quantifiable success from one's effort. In music, writing my books and art (painting in oil), I have achieved a level of flow where time is no longer a part of my existence and the purest form of joy can be found. I write about flow in some detail in my book, "The Point of Power," citing the life long research of Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

The Buddha's advice

So how do we go about pursuing happiness? The Buddha gave us another of his famous lists to help us with this. He advised us to look for things that are conducive to dispassion, detachment, a decrease in worldly goods, frugality, contentment, solitude, energy, and delight in good.

So let me unpack this a bit. In the context of LOA, I would very loosely interpret his criteria to mean something like this:

Dispassion and detachment: Does the thing we want fan our small-minded emotions and self-centered desires? If so, it won't lead to happiness. This isn't a matter of good or bad, right or wrong. It's simply because we aren't the center of the universe, and living with that incorrect assumption will inevitably smack the unhappy truth right into our faces.

Decrease in worldly goods and frugality: Are we expecting worldly goods and money to create happiness for us? If so, think again. As above, this isn't so much a moral issue, but the simple truth that everything changes. What was once a source of happiness will inevitably fade away, again smacking the truth in our faces.

Contentment and solitude: Does it lead to superficiality and distraction? If so, look elsewhere. What's implied by the advice to turn away from these genres of life experience is the truth that nothing outside ourselves is a reliable source of happiness. We need to find the courage and quietude to look within. When we abide in the stillness of the present moment, we're at our place of greatest potential and creativity. Free of self-indulgent thoughts, free of fear or wanting. Completely aware of and open to what is. Think about it. It's the only place from which we can move forward productively. And that open-mindedness is the most pragmatically positive frame of mind with which to do it. Our point of power is the most direct link we have with the same energy that creates worlds. The point of power is in the present moment. We have to clear all thoughts of past or future to get to our point of power and harness the same source energy that creates worlds from nothingness.

Energy and delight in good: Does it energize us and give rise to a deep sense of goodness in our innermost heart? This is really the ultimate test. Looking forward, if we put our energy and intentions into being a positive influence in the world, our positive energy will reflect back to us and snowball. We'll know we're on the right track because our happiness grows.

Private blog on tumblr. cut and paste:
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"The Point of Power", available now on Amazon. He is also the author of "It's None of My Business What You Think of Me!: If You Want to Change Your Life ... Change the Way You Are Looking at It". His website is peterbaksa.com.

 
 
 

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As a starting point, I think it's safe to say everyone is seeking happiness. But what exactly will bring us lasting happiness or as I would call "joy" ? How do we go about finding it? That's where th...
As a starting point, I think it's safe to say everyone is seeking happiness. But what exactly will bring us lasting happiness or as I would call "joy" ? How do we go about finding it? That's where th...
 
 
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10:21 AM on 07/27/2011
Great article! The concept of The Law of Attraction has always been confusing to me, but you've managed to explain it in a much lighter form which helps me to understand the concept better.
02:37 PM on 06/19/2011
Love your article. The striving for happiness is always gonna leave us "striving". It is nothing to strive for, it's a way, not a destination.
The joy comes out of the process of growth and GIVING. When you act in everyone's best interest, as part of the universe, not the "center", which some new age commercialized approaches falsly claim, that is where joy is experienced. In daily practice of healthy mind, spirit and body and sharing it! (people tend to forget the vital role the body plays for their spiritual health and their ability to manifest)
ALL outer circumstances that "make" you feel good are temporary and create a dependency on them. Trying to manipulate your outer circumstances to achieve an inner state is insanity. We always need to "GET" somewhere. Because we're not happy where we're at... We're afraid of the emptiness we will find. And we try to fill it with things, other people, relationships. But it is in emptiness that you truly find yourself. When you found yourself you can manifest and give so much abundance to the world around you.
Summing it up: The Law of Attraction is only a working Law if you're clear and connected, where it has room to work in your life, and it works according to your SUBconscious mind, not the conscious surface mind. And it always works in your spirits best interest for growth, not in your EGO's best interest. Aligning yourself is the No.1 Key.
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Bruce Negron
"We are each responsible for all of our experience
12:23 PM on 06/19/2011
LOA is a perfect concept when devoid of the points you make. It has to come from the right frame of mind, without ego, greed and selfishness, then it truly works. Everything in life is the same; great article!
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David Rozgonyi
Writer and traveler
12:19 AM on 06/19/2011
Wonderful piece! I totally agree with the outlined principles, which I try to incorporate into my daily life. But I leaven it with a favorite old professor's advice, which has seen me through my life very well so far: Enjoy yourself, and be kind. Never failed me yet.
07:07 PM on 06/18/2011
Excellent article, thanks for the clarification. The "Law of Attraction" as it is popularly understood is very engaging but not very realistic or practical. You put a much more down to earth and meaningful face on it.
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Peter Baksa
Author - The Point of Power
08:59 PM on 06/18/2011
Thank you for reading and commenting. It is a working law - if you are interested check my book The point of power. I go into some detail and personalize the concept grounding it all in contemporary Quantum physics and my own life experience. Best regards, Peter
researcher
researcher
05:14 PM on 06/18/2011
first I liked this article. that feelings thing is a bad indicator of reality. but it does sell books and movies to a society warped by capitalist dogma of a survival of the fittest competitive society.

"We have to clear all thoughts of past or future to get to our point of power and harness the same source energy that creates worlds from nothingness".

nothing can come from nothing, that is unaware teachings and a lack of understanding between the term nothingness and the term the buddhists use is emptiness. huge difference between nothingness and emptiness. huge. one has to do with 0 and the other with awareness that is empty of a flow of thoughts, hence the word emptiness.
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Peter Baksa
Author - The Point of Power
06:27 PM on 06/18/2011
Nothingness = consciousness

Thoughts are the result of consciousness.

Thoughts = energy, energy = matter, thoughts = matter.

Now you can argue your point better so that you can be "more" right...LOL Thank you for your commentary and reading the article. Warmly, Peter
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katiek2o
02:31 PM on 06/18/2011
true love/quick way to happiness. whoever keeps appearing in your life, grab them, hold on and dont let them go. because when they go off and get married to someone else, it will be much harder:)
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brooklyncitizen
Quaerite primum regnum dei
07:44 PM on 06/18/2011
yikes
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Peter Baksa
Author - The Point of Power
09:03 PM on 06/18/2011
LOL
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jimtodd
Unrepentant child of '60s
02:12 PM on 06/18/2011
Good article, good advice, but I disagree with your opening statement. Americans generally do not seek or expect happiness. That has never been suggested as a goal of our society and there is no indication that it is ever considered in policy decisions or even individual actions. Instead we worship success, triumph, and the undisputed, ultimate American motivator, to win. Collateral damage does not matter. Long term success is irrelevant. We must win even if we destroy ourselves in the process. This attitude permeates every aspect of our society and prevents us from pursuing commonly beneficial solutions to any of the challenges that confront us.
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Peter Baksa
Author - The Point of Power
02:54 PM on 06/18/2011
You make an excellent point - thanks for the comment. Best, Peter
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brooklyncitizen
Quaerite primum regnum dei
07:49 PM on 06/18/2011
sad but true