If I were an aspiring young film producer today, I'd be out there pitching an action movie about a WallWalker (remember those creepy blobs from the '80s?"} and his exciting encounters with creatures like Thundercats and Hungry Hippos. The WallWalker would go on to save the world, of course.
Sound like a truly dopey idea? Well, let's get real here: Hollywood is avid for stories about toys and creatures from video games. If you want to see a green light flashing, be prepared to put aside those foolish stories about "real people."
And don't take refuge in that cliché that Hollywood has run out of ideas. There's an abundance of ideas rattling around and a super-abundance of movies are emerging from the dream factories. The problem is that they're ideas pinned to cross-promotions and branding schemes. You see, studios are no longer content with promoting a movie. They want a stake in a product line. Why risk mega millions on a mere movie when you can give birth to a mini industry?
All of which raises the question, Do product lines necessarily generate cool movies?
The answer clearly is a loud "no", but Paramount, DreamWorks and Hasbro Toys want to prove us wrong July 3 when they come out with Transformers. Indeed if the film turns out to be a hit then gird yourself for a relentless surge of toy-based movies like GI Joe, Bratz, Robosapien, Voltron, He-Man and virtually every other remnant of Reagan-Era comic effluvia. A year from now we may look back fondly on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a cultural high water mark.
So where did things go wrong for "people pictures?" In the mind of corporate Hollywood, movies about real characters are increasingly chancy. There are simply too many movies out there and marketing efforts have become a blur. Too many hedge fund operators and petrodollar billionaires have decided to join the fun in the Hollywood playpen and they don't care about how much money they lose. The upshot is that seven or eight new movies hit the multiplexes each weekend and even good films get lost in the frenzy.
Given the fact that the studios increasingly are being run by marketing gurus, it's no surprise that they've been searching for a new business model. Hence their motto: Toys 'r us. Not original, perhaps, but good business anyway.
So audiences better get ready to play.