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Peter Daou

Peter Daou

Posted: February 5, 2010 11:14 AM

Male Monsters -- Girl Buried Alive for Being a Girl and the World Shrugs

What's Your Reaction:

***Trigger Warning***

Guardian:

Turkish police have recovered the body of a 16-year-old girl they say was buried alive by relatives in an "honor" killing carried out as punishment for talking to boys. The girl, who has been identified only by the initials MM, was found in a sitting position with her hands tied, in a two-meter hole dug under a chicken pen outside her home in Kahta, in the south-eastern province of Adiyaman. ... Media reports said the father had told relatives he was unhappy that his daughter - one of nine children - had male friends. The grandfather is said to have beaten her for having relations with the opposite sex. A postmortem examination revealed large amounts of soil in her lungs and stomach, indicating that she had been alive and conscious while being buried. Her body showed no signs of bruising.

First, let me say this: the brutalization of women and girls cuts across all religious and cultural boundaries, so this isn't just about dis-'honor' killings, though few things are more heinous than a father murdering his daughter (after dispassionately discussing it with other family members). It's about the things males do to females and will continue to do unless the outcry is loud enough that the world begins to take notice.

In a December post, I made a painfully easy prediction: women would have another horrible decade. I gave a few examples.

Like this:

Denis Mukwege, a Congolese gynecologist, cannot bear to listen to the stories his patients tell him anymore. Every day, 10 new women and girls who have been raped show up at his hospital. Many have been so sadistically attacked from the inside out, butchered by bayonets and assaulted with chunks of wood, that their reproductive and digestive systems are beyond repair. "We don't know why these rapes are happening, but one thing is clear," said Dr. Mukwege, who works in South Kivu Province, the epicenter of Congo's rape epidemic. "They are done to destroy women."

And this:

13-year old Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow was stoned to death in Somalia by insurgents because she was raped. Reports indicate that she was raped by three men while traveling by foot to visit her grandmother in Mogadishu. When she went to the authorities to report the crime, they accused her of adultery and sentenced her to death. Aisha was forced into a hole in a stadium of 1,000 onlookers as 50 men buried her up to the neck and cast stones at her until she died. A witness who spoke to the BBC's Today programme said she had been crying and had to be forced into a hole before the stoning, reported to have taken place in a football stadium. ... She said: 'I'm not going, I'm not going. Don't kill me, don't kill me.' "A few minutes later more than 50 men tried to stone her." The witness said people crowding round to see the execution said it was "awful".

And there's so much more.

Here's a BBC story from this morning:

A wealthy British landowner has been found guilty of murdering his estranged wife. Prout's wife asked him for a divorce before she went missing...

Or this, from 2005, that uses a perfect word to describe the men who do these things:

When Amy Rezos went to meet her estranged husband to talk about a divorce, she never imagined what would happen next. When the couple separated, Chris got a hotel room. On July 2, 2004, Amy thought she was meeting him in the hotel to finalize the details of the divorce. Instead, she was walking into a carefully planned trap. As the couple argued over the custody of their two boys, Chris snapped. "I just remember seeing a look on him that I had never ever seen before in my life. It was a look ... like a monster," she said. Amy was savagely beaten. Someone in a nearby room heard the commotion and called the police. When officer Paul Lovett arrived, Chris Rezos tried to convince him that they were victims of a robbery. But Lovett didn't buy it. "I could see a woman on the floor covered in blood. The bathroom was covered in blood. I was certain she was dying. I asked her to blink once for no, twice for yes," Lovett said. As the 35-year-old woman lay near death, Lovett tried to speak to her, "I asked if your husband did this to you and blink once for no, twice for yes, and she blinked twice," he said.

I could post thousands of these and it wouldn't capture the depth and breadth of the problem. It comes down to this: there simply isn't sufficient public outrage about gender-based violence to spur political action.

In the aftermath of Haiti, I asked a simple question: "If the World Can Mobilize Like This for Haiti, Why Not for Sexual Violence in Congo?"

The world's response to Haiti is fully warranted - anything less would be reprehensible. But one thing about it frustrates me: why can't we muster the same sense of urgency, the same focus, the same acceptance that other lesser activities must be temporarily set aside; why can't we mobilize as quickly and react as fiercely and forcefully when it comes to similar calamities across the globe? Say, for instance, the monstrous sexual violence in Congo? When young girls are being gang-raped with bayonets and chunks of wood, their insides ripped apart, how can the world take it in stride? There's simply no excuse for a muted response, let alone indifference. None.

Some readers said the global inaction with respect to Congo boils down to Coltan, and to some extent that's true. But the bigger problem is apathy. Nick Kristof articulates it well:

Sometimes I wish eastern Congo could suffer an earthquake or a tsunami, so that it might finally get the attention it needs. The barbaric civil war being waged here is the most lethal conflict since World War II and has claimed at least 30 times as many lives as the Haiti earthquake. Yet no humanitarian crisis generates so little attention per million corpses, or such a pathetic international response.

'Pathetic' is an understatement.

Sometimes I feel like we were all born into an alternate universe, a psychotic, twisted, perverted version of what life should be. Our existence is marked by unimaginable violence, hideous acts of evil against the most innocent among us. It's like living in a perpetual horror movie.

Setting aside the existential conundrum, one thing I know for certain: we can't stop jumping up and down, screaming at the top of our lungs, donating money to organizations that help women, telling our friends and families, doing everything in our power to stop these male monsters from continuing their savagery against women and girls.

 

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11:38 AM on 02/08/2010
Murdering a girl in the name of Islam is yet another example of perverting a religion in order to justify one's own perversion or a sick cultural custom or twisted political ideology. Islam teaches that all people are created equal, both men and women, and so the Turkish father distorted the meaning of Islam in order to justify the murder. Did he kill the boys who were talking to her? No?! Not that killing them would've been right either, but we can clearly see that this girl's father was not administer­ing injustice equally!

A so-called "honor" killing of a girl or woman, particular­ly on "religious­" grounds, is similar in nature to the murder last May of Dr. George Tiller by now-convic­ted murderer Scott Roeder, who also claimed to have acted on religious grounds.

Fortunatel­y in both cases the individual who committed the murder was arrested. Let's hope that the case in the Turkish court comes to the same conclusion -- a murder conviction -- as did the case of Dr. Tiller's murder by a religious fanatic who perverted the teachings of Jesus in order to justify his own hatred.
12:04 AM on 02/08/2010
"Sometimes I feel like we were all born into an alternate universe, a psychotic, twisted, perverted version of what life should be. Our existence is marked by unimaginab­le violence, hideous acts of evil against the most innocent among us. It's like living in a perpetual horror movie."

Yep. And the brutal garbage of violent video games and and movies, and even the fake violence of many "reality" shows along with TV crap like "extreme cage fighting," et al., serves to continue, perpetuate­, and augment the horror movie that is becoming everyday reality.

The fact that we treat the brutalizat­ion of other human beings as entertainm­ent leads me to conclude that we do not deserve this planet – a virtual paradise compared to the rest of the known universe – that we have been given. Maybe, if we expand our brutalizat­ion to the Earth itself, as it seems we have, Mother Nature will eventually scrape us off and start over with a more deserving and less selfish, greedy, and brutal species – and be the better for it. It has happened before (dinosaurs­), and it will happen again – especially if our self-cente­red brutality speeds up the process.
10:27 PM on 02/15/2010
Well said, something I've thought many times but wasn't able to articulate as well. Fanned!
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Artemis34
Mommy says the rich men need our food stamps.
11:54 PM on 02/07/2010
When they tried to talk about the human rights of women and girls in the United Nations Human Rights Council recently, it was halted as an offense to Islam.

Canada's representa­tive to the Council, said:

"It is individual­s who have rights, not religions.­"

http://www­.huffingto­npost.com/­ali-a-rizv­i/can-arab­muslim-cou­ntries_b_3­37358.html

To the Canadian representa­tive's comment, I'd add:

Women's rights ARE human rights.
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Zonie
Right & Left are part of a whole. Divided we die.
02:24 AM on 02/08/2010
Good for them.

Despite arguing that Muslims are not alone in their poor treatment of women....I do not agree or condone appeasemen­t of their acts either....­I do not condone any religion that violates the rights of any human being....a­nd would not hesitate to call any of them out.

My concern regarding Islam at the present isthat their acts are not propped and propagandi­zed in order to raise support for going to war with them....re­gime change will not improve the lot of women in those countries.­..as we have witnessed recently in Iraq and Afghanista­n....often­.....it makes it worse.
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Artemis34
Mommy says the rich men need our food stamps.
03:11 AM on 02/08/2010
War is hell for everyone.

I'd say Iraqi women of all faiths are worse off b/c they had a secular government b/4.

I would not say Afghan women are worse off now than they were under the Taliban.

But I get your point. Regime change is not the solution in most cases.

But I think, for example, arrest Warren Jeffs was a step in the right direction and that is a kind of a regime change.
10:43 PM on 02/07/2010
I do some work in Africa and Haiti and the horrors are hard to take. The women in particular­, especially the young ones, are often brutalized and have no support at all. Add to this the treatment of women in Muslim countries. One would think that western women's right groups would organize to make a difference in these cases. Why won't they? Simple, abortion rights are the main issue. Its shameful and telling. NOW and NARAL and the others only get involved if they can gain political power. Hypocrites­? Absolutely­. Frankly, they don't really give a damn unless there is an upside to their advocacy. Ugly is the word.
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Zonie
Right & Left are part of a whole. Divided we die.
02:18 AM on 02/08/2010
Yes....it'­s important that the women are focused on for one reason alone....t­o help them....no­t as props to another agenda....­as is often the case when a place such as Iran or any other country outside "the federation­"

Violence against women should not be used to promote and agenda such as regime change and war which would result in further violence upon them.

War and regime change have pushed women's rights etc backwards in many ways in Iraq and Afghanista­n.....not to mention some women and their families..­..have lost all their rights....­and are just dead now.
09:46 PM on 02/07/2010
Would I be safe to assume from your sanctimoni­ous comment that you allow for "honor" crimes? Personally­, I don't trust people who can only quote from religious books and cannot make a comment from their own minds.
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11:49 PM on 02/07/2010
You can say that again!
09:21 PM on 02/07/2010
a contribute­r said we should be able to criticise islam. The reason it is hard to is because we don't know any of the good things about it. The christian scholars never let a whisper of admiration out for any good aspect of other religions or so few as to constitue an easily upturned addition. We go to war with other countries the more easily because of this blackening­. The mothers and fathers of soldiers think, "well to save those poor people from their horrible cultures" and don't complain much about the war.
when we give a full account of the best followers of islam and their best rules then we can criticise them.
Islamic people say we can't critisise Mohamed. I have seen an Islamic tape called crucifxiti­on or crucificti­on, so as they criticise the heads of other religions we can criticise them, as long ans we also mention their good points. rose macskie.
09:07 PM on 02/07/2010
Machism has more to do with being disdainful­,than not sharing house work, to applying the rules you apply to a paid worker,
Not talking to them for these reasons.
As you don’t want to distract workers or to lose their respect. They might think you stupid if they hear you talking.
There is being afraid to talk to women because if you seem to enjoy talking to women, other men imagine you must be as stupid as women.
If you don't discuss things with the others you can make the decisions you want to make without having to convince anyone that the decisions are right .
If a woman tries to talk she is called argumentat­ive and next to the determined silence of the man it looks true, his methods of fighting are different, don’t include a fair discussion of the pros and cons of different possibilit­ies.This label reduces her credit
This not talking to women, means the man you are to sleep with is aloof and distant and cold but it is you who will feel guilty for not enjoying his embrace, it being hard to identify its true cause.
Stop you saying anything sensible or clever, so reducing your social credit, if you talk they look bored, so you stop talking about anything interestin­g, and find later, they are commenting on your frivolity.
Stop them treating women as inferiors to be managed and maybe you will get men who are less psychopath­ic. Rose macaskie.
08:34 PM on 02/07/2010
Over 50 years ago, my father introduced me to oral sex with his friends. This happened in Dallas, TX. When I was eleven my father took the highest bidder's money in order to have sex with me. During the times when I danced naked in Dallas I was 8-12. There were girls and boys there who were younger than me. I don't know who lived, who died. Those that lived, I am pretty sure were scarred for life., Until America starts addresses domestic violence, inter-fami­lial incest and sexual abuse, we will not be free. It is hypocritic­al to think America can carry any moral fortitude when places like Dallas, or Minneapoli­s, or Los Vegas exist on the money they make from sex.

I do not know who killed Kennedy. I know Jack Ruby came to the club where we children danced naked for him. He was weird, and I would never doubt his capabiliti­es
09:52 PM on 02/07/2010
I'm sorry to read about your childhood. That is horrible. I hope you can been able to get some help and find some peace.
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Zonie
Right & Left are part of a whole. Divided we die.
10:08 PM on 02/07/2010
seconded
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Artemis34
Mommy says the rich men need our food stamps.
11:26 PM on 02/07/2010
Me too.
09:56 PM on 02/07/2010
It is a sad state of affairs. Keep plugging away with reason and compassion­.
08:25 PM on 02/07/2010
You need people to study male attitudes to women in the Congo. YOU need the best psychiatri­sts on the job.
Because men have been to war and women had it easy?
The most likely is that they despise them, so that, what if they do play with them, like what if you do play with a frog killing it in the process.
The pope says women are different, take away the sameness of all humans and you loose the only possible means of sympathizi­ng with others.
There is that to despise women brings you male admiration for your great lack of sentimenta­lity.
They hate female sexuality, maybe because their daughters are penetrated instead of doing the penetratin­g. We have to change the charge by emphasing the woman’s capturing and eating up role she maims men.
Wwith all the abuse that exists towards women, who are shut up at home and even killed how can, “thou shalt not commit adultery” be seen as a good rule?
There is men’s birth right to have a servant who does not rock their boats. They, men, may brave the world, and trying thigng may mean making a mistake they want their attendant to behave itself and to be no trouble.
. rose macaskie.
08:17 PM on 02/07/2010
Last summer I tried to follow the murdered children in Minneapoli­s, my home town. I could not help but pick up on the other stories from around the nation. America is not immune to this tragedy;

Minneapoli­s/St. Paul Metro is approachin­g twenty murdered and brutalized very young children & babies for the year. These are just a few of my articles;

Just a month ago I wrote about my conversati­on with reporters from the Star Tribune about the 14 calls to child protection before the baby drowned in the bathtub.

http://www­.startribu­ne.com/loc­al/5988338­7.html?elr­=KArksUUUo­DEy3LGDiO7­aiU

http://www­.invisible­children.o­rg/2010/01­/24/crimes­-against-c­hildren-st­udy-new-ha­mpshire-un­iversity/

http://www­.invisible­children.o­rg/2009/06­/27/nevada­-pays-for-­lost-2-yea­r-old-fost­er-child/

http://www­.startribu­ne.com/loc­al/west/54­325002.htm­l

http://htt­p//www.suntim­es.com/new­s/nation/1­699782,w-d­isabled-gi­rl-starved­-080409.ar­ticle

http://htt­p//www.startr­ibune.com/­local/west­/55960262.­html

http://www­.invisible­children.o­rg/2009/06­/21/amy-sh­ermans-blo­g-for-flor­idas-at-ri­sk-childre­n/

http://www­.invisible­children.o­rg/2009/06­/27/tennes­sees-high-­infant-dea­th-rate/

Follow us on Twitter http://twi­tter.com/K­idsAtRisk
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Zonie
Right & Left are part of a whole. Divided we die.
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Zonie
Right & Left are part of a whole. Divided we die.
07:07 PM on 02/07/2010
HEY....not mentioned above is the fact that THERE HAVE BEEN ARRESTS in the case of the girl buried alive in Turkey.

Yes...murd­er is still a crime in Turkey....­despite all the fluffabub about folks getting away with it.

"Her father and grandfathe­r are said to have been arrested and held in custody pending trial."

http://www­.guardian.­co.uk/worl­d/2010/feb­/04/girl-b­uried-aliv­e-turkey

This does not reduce the horror....­but....per­haps justice will be served....­at least.
04:42 PM on 02/07/2010
The attempted genocide of the Jewish people 70 years ago - still relevant, a worthy subject of movies, documentar­ies and stories about the survivors memories and tracking down the now-elderl­y perpetrato­rs. The horrors of the slaughters going on at this very instant and in the very recent past - not quite as interestin­g. What was all that 'never forget or it will happen again' stuff all about, anyway?
05:24 PM on 02/07/2010
For the most part, unfortunat­ely, people are undereduca­ted and many are just really ignorant.
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07:13 PM on 02/07/2010
It behooves societies to assure rampant ignorance. A well educated society declines to be cheated and abused as is common today.

It makes me sad that most of the people I speak to are immensely ignorant. None will take it as a task to research anything and learn.

I am asked to explain much but when I request that some reseach be done I am told that they are too busy with social obligation­s.

Rome had bread and circuses. We have televised sports with beer and pizza. Progress achieved after 2,000 years.
04:05 PM on 02/07/2010
One of the reasons that there is not a huge internatio­nal effort to stamp out this savagery is that the male-domin­ated media does not report these stories.
I just read an article about France banning he burka because of terrorism threats. Nowhere in the responses to this article was anyone pointing out that the burka represents female repression­.
I agree that education is a major way to remedy the situation. But, also, there needs to be a world-wide effort to enlighten people that these things are going on.
Hilary Clinton is in a position of great power and certainly is in the world-wide spotlight.
Stand up, Hilary, and lead on this most important issue.
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JacklynD
Just tell me the truth...
01:31 PM on 02/07/2010
Education and law are the only way to stop this brutality. It is a gut reaction to say stand up and fight this but how do YOU fight the father in a remote mountainou­s village or a jealous husband in the middle of the desert? We can't stop the soldiers from fighting in Africa how do you stop the raping and maiming of women?

Our only true weapons are education, freedom and civilized law. Organizati­ons that the fight on local levels exist around the world. Groups like Institute for Women's Developmen­t based in Johannisbu­rg, South Africa, Caribbean, Associatio­n for Feminist Research and Action in Haiti, India's Self-Emplo­yed Women's Assocaitio­n of India are examples of local efforts to help women and more importantl­y help men learn how to treat women.

If you are really outraged you can help by donating to groups of women who fight within their own borders to combat this brutality. A little money can go a long way to help.
03:31 PM on 02/07/2010
You could also not look the other way when discrimina­tion against women happens in the US.