A spokesman for former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has confirmed that the potential 2012 Republican and Tea Party presidential candidate will be marketing a new line of woman's lingerie.
"Gov. Palin has a perfect right to market her name and services," said spokesman Klibbell Korgorth. "No one complained or made fun when former Senator Bob Dole appeared as a spokesman for such things as credit cards, donuts, soft drinks and Viagra."
"Since we all wear clothes," said Palin, "and since women wear most of them, I thought I could use my love of fine apparel to promote a fashion line which real Americans would find uplifting, something that would strengthen America's foundations."
The new clothing line is designed to re-invigorate the American clothing industry.
"The U.S. used to be the world's largest producer of clothing, but we lost that title to socialists in China, Vietnam, Mexico and New York," said Palin. "My new Little Critter line will be designed in America and made from recycled ingredients. The basic idea is that we should go back to natural materials, especially furs. Do you realize that America has millions of under-used dogs and cats? Instead of sending such raw materials to pounds and shelters, why not take advantage of the comfort and value such furs offer?"
The Palin line will be a true cottage industry. Residential workers, such as those being home schooled, will receive patterns as well as needles, thimbles and threads. Instructions will cover such topics as materials acquisition from streets and roads, taxidermy, preservation, tire-track removal, stitching, intelligent design, states rights, secession and marketing.
"When we say we favor environmental preservation we mean it," said Palin. "In addition to the use of pelts for clothing, we believe we can take recycling to a whole new level. For instance, with home canning the Palin line could be expanded to include a hearty list of sausages, baby foods, stews, chowders, broths, breakfast bars and -- of course -- a full and rich variety of You Betcha-brand teas for your next party or demonstration."
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