The True Cost of the "Day Without a Gay" Flameout

Hey! Hey! What do you say?

Let's Call in "gay" to work today!

Whoa! Wait! I need the pay,

Let's Go To Work Anyway!

Politics is the art of the possible. The idea Wednesday was to get gay people to boycott their workplace - "a day without a gay" - to show the power and numbers of the gay workforce and protest the passage of Prop 8. That seemed to be a rational and potent next step in the same sex marriage debate, not to mention a flex of muscle in a relatively non-confrontational way at a time when anti-8ers are still feeling low and eager to do more.

The call for a gay-out was national; in California there's a vivid history of these kinds of things (see Cesar Chavez and grapes.)

But you knew things were going to be a little floppy when former SF Supervisor and State Senator Mark Leno said a day off was OK... for other people. "A deeply personal" choice, he called it. Meaning people could opt out, which he certainly did because "the state budget crisis demands my full attention this week." Like other people's jobs only require half their attention? We're all for fixing California's fiscal calamity but does Mr. Leno have to rub it in that his job is more important than yours?

One concise commenter on sfist said about the Leno remark: "Pffft."

It wasn't just Mark Leno, to be fair. Early reports Wednesday, including from the Chronicle's own Matthai Kuruvila, found things fizzling in SF's Castro district. "Several gay and lesbian people said they couldn't afford to take the day off," Matthai wrote, particularly when the economy is tanking. Some store owners were downright pissed that gay businesses might be affected, like the community was holding a gun to its own head and threatening to pull the trigger if homophobes didn't get straight with the program. Why was that a good idea?

"The whole purpose should be to support your own," said business owner Rich Boutell, "not to boycott." I wonder what Harvey Milk, the Castro camera store operator, would have had to say.

"I was scheduled off thank goodness as I am ambivalent on this one," commenter michael posted to the blog Queerty. kid A had a "group presentation (and) I can't bail on that." Matt wondered if "porn stars and escorts took the day off?" And Joan figured she could count the day as a "gay day for me: my wife had dental surgery and I had to take her to the dentist's office then stay home to keep an eye on her."

"Both my lover and I are self-employed so it would be redundant to call in gay," wrote mark. Gregoire "came to work but left the gay part at home. I just flirted inappropriately with a bunch of women in my office and turn(ed) up my Dave Matthews Band greatest hits." austin asked, "Is this the prequel to Gay Without Pay?" and poster leland frances pointedly said, "This is to gay activism what Paris Hilton is to acting." But we all know commenters can be a little snippy.

My personal favorite was comedienne Wanda Sykes (who came out at the last big round of Prop 8 protests) on Jay Leno last night. Her contribution to "calling in gay" day? She delayed her entrance for 12 seconds. "Us show folks, we show up, " she told Leno. Well, not always in my experience.

Gymnastics coach David Lang told AP the protest was a good idea, badly organized, a slam that has been put on the No On 8 campaign itself.

The hesitation to participate in a call not to participate was certainly much more understandable in Utah, where just telling your employer you're gay can get you fired, according to the Salt Lake Tribune. Don't tell and don't even think about asking in that state.

There were much more accessible protests and marches after work in several cities around the country. More than 10 and less than a million people showed up in SF. (I'm not getting near the crowd count bomb.)

And you can always rely on media coverage to overheat on potential social upheaval stories. Queerty called the Wednesday morning press coverage of Day/Gay "massive," citing a New York Times story that saw yet another deep cultural trend. Do they have to offer a retraction to trend stories if the underlying fact flutters away?

And then there was this indecipherable, or maybe racy, headline from an AFP wire story: "Gays down tools in protests against same-sex wedding ban." I'll just leave that right there. Feel free to write your own translation.

At the end of the day, with or without gays, the stock market closed up almost 100 points and the Prop 8 fallout continues.

For more, read Bronstein at Large.

Comments

[twogunmojo]

28 comments in 48 hours...numbers speak volumes...the lack of comments indicates how unimportant this issue is to even the liberals on huffpo....mention gun control and you can get 28 an hour....

[apoyo]

You gotta do something that truly makes an impact, think bus boycott back during the civil rights struggle.

But, first you need solidarity among yourselves and your supporters.

Personally, I think all this is dumb. People are people, how they live their private lives is nobody's business. Discrimination is an ugly thing. All these "christian" people should remember that Jesus believed in inclusion.

[Clarknt67]

The point that calling in gay can get you fired in Utah kinda speaks to the flaw. These are the areas where visibility is most needed, but most dangerous.

I am not at all shy about being out and proud at my media job in NYC. It seemed silly to take the day off with a deadline looming, for what? The vast majority of my co-workers all know, support me and would vote against any Prop 8. I would be preaching to the choir.

[Thundrdrum]

The gay community has always been apathetic. There are very, very few who have the guts to stand up. There is no one gay publication that can inform us, there are about 40 of them--no one works together in the gay community, it's a bunch of thrown together coalitions that last a couple of months and fade into memory. The "Advocate" caters to men; there is no gay news publication that's worth a crap to inform the community.

[SiberianRat]

What is the "gay community" really anyway? If Kinsey's percentage estimates were right, there are upwards of 30,000,000 homosexuals in the country and more that would be considered bisexual (maybe not everyone is open about it, but this is the statistic). In such a large group, there will be lots of different kinds of people with different priorities, etc. To imply that those who don't "stand up" are somehow not carrying their homo weight is pretty bold. I'm gay, but it's one of many facets of who I am. I don't separate myself because of it, I don't feel the need to shop only at gay-friendly this and that and read gay magazines and whatever--does that make me a bad homo? Maybe it would help to acknowledge that LGBTs are simply a segment of the population--always have been, always will be. I think sometimes all of the standing up is what gets us knocked down. I'm not proud to be gay any more than I'm proud to have green eyes--both are simply a fact of my life. I'm relatively open about it, but it doesn't define my life--it's PART of who I am, but there's a lot more there. For those who choose to make it the focus of their identity, great--that's your choice and I wish you well. However, for those of us who don't, we don't deserve to be criticized any more that you would want to be criticized for your choices.

[Apov]

A prolonged national boycott would have been much more effective.

Perhaps a boycott on the vehicles produced by the foreign car makers that are located in the southern states might have some impact.

[moreupnorth]

Since I am on medical disability for severe PTSD I couldn't call in gay. And I am sure that the military was happy I was on disability so I wouldn't callin gay and tell on myself.

[SiberianRat]

Sorry to hear that--hang in there, man!

[barbwiregrrl]

Time to be out loud and proud. By not showing up we are not being visable...

I would rather be a thorn in the side of the Big0ts than invisible which is what they want us to be!

[XCITIZEN]

I was not scheduled to work on December 10. I probably still would have come in if I were though. There will be other opportunities to do this again, not in the same way, but in a way that has a huge impact. LBGT people (damn, it seems like just saying 'Gay People' is much more effective) need to get out into the streets.

The rallying cry that started it all was OUT OF THE CLOSETS! INTO THE STREETS!

More political action is called for. More visibility.

[ReverendDraco]

Maybe I'll organize a "Calling in American to work" to protest the insane numbers of illegals in Cali. . . if you're a citizen, don't go to work.

Of course, it would likely have the same effect as calling in gay. . . no positive effects, and just make more people irritated. . .

[FearlessFreep]

It would mean more work for the illegals.

[sethrp]

Oh please - it was a half-assed idea, badly organized. It was as lame as the incessant "Stop buying gas for a day and miraculously the oil companies will listen to us!" e-mail campaigns.

I'm gay, and I actually did get sick yesterday (karma?). But I don't get sick days at my job. I don't get holidays at all, and don't have any insurance except on my damn car. I'm trying to work off credit card debt and get myself financially stable for the first time in my life. I considered calling in "gay," but it's a protest I can't afford. And I wouldn't like the message of saying I couldn't fulfill the duties of my job because of the fact that I'm gay - it problematizes something that is part of who I am, and casts it in a way that overstates its influence on my life. I don't disagree with concocting novel approaches to protesting the unconscionable proposition 8, but this wasn't a novel approach and it's not the publicity "we" need.

And I'm sorry, but my need to feed myself and keep a roof over my head will always take precedence over my desire to find Mr. Right and get bored with him in a gigantic mansion someday. But Mr. Right won't even give me the time of day if I'm a homeless homo, so there.

[GomezAdams]

"Oh please - it was a half-assed idea, badly organized. It was as lame as the incessant "Stop buying gas for a day and miraculously the oil companies will listen to us!" e-mail campaigns. "


Exactly!

What can an unintentionally invisible minority group gain by being an intentionally invisible minority group for a day?.

[Bitsko]

It must be nice to afford to take a day off from work.

[JackNasty]

The notion of "calling in gay for work" was not merely inappropriate and pointless. It was ridiculous.

[barbwiregrrl]

Agreed...i think we shouldhave a day where all the LGBT wear hot pink to work .....sort of lets be visable and proud. This lets not work today is silly. We have important things to do and say...we just need to be visable and loud!

I do not appologize for being QU_eeR to anyone :)

[SiberianRat]

Why punish them by making them wear hot pink? Why punish the office by making them look at people in hot pink?

[teasley]

What is everyone so proud of? I grow weary of hearing how proud everyone is. I'm heterosexual, Not particulairly proud. I just am. No bumper stickers, no pins. As with the majority of people I'm not interested in your sexuality. I associate with gays and had a family member die of AIDS. The problem seems to be in the redifining of the word marriage. It is my guess ( thats all it is ) that had prop 8 asked for Civil Union or some such thing it could have passed. If you are looking for equal rights of survivorship etc. you could achive this without redifining the "excepted" meaning of a word.

[SiberianRat]

Agreed. I often find myself shaking my head at gay activists' tactics--often ineffective. To me, a much better idea would be for people to be productive members of society, open about their orientation, and serve as an EXAMPLE of equality. Also, why punish others at their place of work? The gay activists have been shouting that some who oppose them can be likened to those who advocated "separate but equal" in the days of the black civil rights struggle. However, it is often they who perpetuate the separateness, in my opinion. Calling in "gay" to work (ugh!) is does nothing for equality that I can see--maybe even the opposite.

[UnknownSoldier]

LOL, silly

[lauriemann]

My husband suggested that a more effective protest might have been for gay folks and supporters to do all their holiday shopping on the same day...

[Steamboater]

Staying out of work is one thing but not shopping anywhere, with the exception of Gay businesses, was ok. I hope we can do this such as once a month where we don't shop at all until we get full equal rights and in every state. If the economy suffers, then so be it. The only thing people in this country understand is their pocket book.

[Dave01]

I've already been doing that for years now (shopping at gay/gay friendly businesses).