Or, what is the opposite of same-sex marriage?
I recently suggested we call same-sex/gender marriage (or similar unions) homogamy and unions between people of different sex/gender heterogamy. (The longer version is here.) The two main complaints I get about this are: (1) it's too complicated, hard to say, too late to change, etc.; and, (2) can't we just call it "marriage"?
I have no answer to (1); I can't solve it.
As for (2), my answer is: we could, but we don't already. I don't think we need to introduce spouses, or label our marriage licenses, with the terms homogamy and heterogamy. But the fact is, in many situations we need to differentiate the sex/gender composition of marriages -- mostly in discussing the legal and social restrictions imposed on them, and attempts to overcome that injustice. (Secondarily, it is important for studies of demography, culture, etc., that differentiate family systems, but that language doesn't affect very many people.)
The New York Times page on the subject is called "Same-sex marriage." The main Wikipedia page is called "Gay marriage," although the page that lists the legal status around the world refers to it as "Same-sex marriage."
A search for "same-sex marriage" in Google produces 3 million hits, not as much as the 6.8 million for "gay marriage." Based on those counts, you'd think homogamy was more common than "opposite-sex marriage," which calls up less than 1 million, "lesbian marriage," which leads to 129,000 hits, or -- the rarest of all -- "straight marriage," which brings up a microscopic 32,000.
In a Web of Science "topic" search, there are 399 academic articles about "same-sex marriage," 128 about "gay marriage," 1 about "opposite-sex marriage" and 1 about "straight marriage."
What's going on is a very common linguistic double standard, in which the term marriage is modified when it's not done according to the normal standard. And it's modified in a way -- adding "gay" or "same-sex" -- that does not produce a logical opposite. (Like the adjective ethnic doesn't have an opposite.) The opposites aren't logical because the opposite of gay is not "straight," and the opposite of "same-sex" is not "opposite-sex."
Gay men and lesbians marry people of the other sex/gender all the time. As do bisexuals, of course. Are those "straight" marriages? No. The sex/gender of the person one marries does not determine or necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of the person or couple. Nor should it -- should we have sexual orientation identified on the marriage license?
So what about same-sex and opposite sex? That doesn't work, because the sexes aren't opposites. They are narrow variations on a theme -- much more alike than the different sexes among many other animals. Sure, they play complementary roles in biological reproduction. But they are still more similar than different. The construction of opposites is more useful for socially differentiating men and women -- or boys and girls -- than it is for biologically identifying them. So, "same-sex" is OK, but "opposite-sex" is not. Same- and opposite-gender is probably an even bigger illusion.
That's logic. But the real reason people don't say "straight marriage" and "opposite-sex marriage" much is they don't have to -- it's just
marriage
. That's what being the dominant group is all about.
What works about homogamy and heterogamy is they are based on "same" and "different," not "same" and "opposite." The less we have to use them the better. (Personally, I don't even "'see gender"...) But, like "interracial marriage," these exist as concepts and terms because they exist as statuses -- as social issues and things people fight over. And language is -- rightfully -- a big part of those fights.
Cross posted from the Family Inequality blog.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.