05/15/2008 03:09 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011


Junior's in Israel supporting right-wing Israelis who feel the only good Palestinian is a dead Palestinian. Junior bolstered his chances of brokering a peace deal as his final legacy by saying it would be a mistake to talk to most Palestinians because they were evil.
Privately, Junior told Olmert that the reason he felt he was in the best position to bring peace to Israel was because the United States had already dealt with the same problem.
"You may not know this, Ehud, but I learned that when Americans first came to America there were some folks already living here, just like you have these Palestinians, and they were kind of primitive, too, why, they didn't even have cluster bombs or waterboarding or know how to spy on each other. And we had to fight these folks, too, just to make a home for ourselves, because, you know, we were persecuted in Europe, too, that's why we had to find a new place to live.
"And you know, Ehud, as soon as we'd started moving those folks aside so we'd have room to make a home for ourselves, they started attacking us for no reason, and we had to get tough just like you folks. Every time they killed one of us, we'd kill fifty of them, just like you do, and it worked. And just like you do, we kept bringing in more folks, and taking up more land, so they'd have to move away.
"And you know, people criticized us, just like they criticize you, but we just told 'em that was nothin' but anti-whiteism, just like you do.
"But I'll tell you, Ehud, there's a couple things we did better than you, and you could learn from us. We stuck our bad guys in refugee camps like you do, only we called 'em 'reservations'. See, that's a much better word for it, 'cause it's more permanent-sounding, and kinda dignified, too.
"Now Gaza, that was a good idea. A great big reservation where they can't support themselves and you control everything going in and out and starve 'em if they don't behave. That was a good one.
"But the thing we did you need to do more of, we made peace treaties. All the time! We'd promise 'em the moon, and the poor suckers--they weren't very advanced, you know--they'd believe us, and sign on the dotted line. And we'd just take one hunka land after another. And we didn't even have to fight for it. So you oughta try that. Peace treaties, Ehud! That's the way to get 'em off your land!"
Whether or not Olmert was convinced by Bush's peace efforts it's too early to tell.