An Open Letter to My Favorite Child

How is it possible not to have a favourite child? originally appeared on Quora - the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.

Answer by CJ Heck, Published Poet, Writer, Author, Children's Poet, Vietnam War widow, on Quora:

How is it possible not to have a favorite child?

I can only answer this from my own experience.

No matter how many children you have, each child is unique and different and special. You love and raise them all in the same way, but uniquely, too, for who they are and who they will become.

Each child holds (is given) a place in your heart that was created just for them.

When a second child is born, you don't take love from the first to share with them. A whole new love grows and it is uniquely theirs.

The same goes for a third child and each successive child as well.

So, if I were to answer your question from my heart, and I am, I would have to say that I love each of them best. Each child is my favorite.

I want to share something with you. It was given to me by my mother many years ago, just after my third daughter was born. I've had it framed and it hangs on the wall, just above my desk.

To The Firstborn ...

I've always loved you best, because you were our first miracle. You were the genesis of a marriage, the fulfillment of young love, and the promise of our infinity.

You sustained us through the hamburger years, the first home furnished in Early Poverty, our first mode of transportation, and the 7-inch TV we paid on for 36 months.

You wore new, had unused grandparents, and more clothes than a Barbie doll. You were the "original model" for unsure parents who were trying to work the bugs out. You got the strained lamb, cloth diapers, and the three-hour naps.

You were the beginning ...

To The Middle Child ...

I've always loved you best, because you drew the dumb spot in the family and you are so much stronger because of it.

You cried less, had more patience, wore faded everything, and never in your life did anything "first," but it only made you even more special in my heart.

You are the one we relaxed with and realized that a dog could kiss you and you wouldn't get sick.

You could cross the street by yourself, long before you were old enough to get married, and we found that the world wouldn't come to an end if you went to bed with dirty feet.

You were the continuance ...

To The Baby ...

I've always loved you best, because endings generally are sad, and you were such a joy.

You readily accepted milk-stained bibs, the used big wheel, and the baby book, empty except for a graham cracker pie crust recipe that someone had jammed between the pages.

You are the one we held onto so tightly, for you see, you are our link with the past that gives a reason to our tomorrow.

You darken our hair, quicken our steps, square our shoulders, restore our vision, and give us the humor that security and maturity can't ever give us.

When your legs look like a road map and your children tower over you, you will still be 'the baby.'

You were the culmination ...

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