Do parents have a favorite child? originally appeared on Quora - the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.
Answer by Katie Anne Holton, polyamorous, transsexual, lesbian professor, on Quora.
Yes, I have a favorite child. In fact, I have two.
I have sons, one 21, the other, 16. I'm not sure it's possible to quantify love. I do know I love both of them with my whole heart. I do, however, have situational favorites.
I love to watch movies with the little one. The big one is always asking questions about what's going on in the movie. "I love you, Son, but shut up and watch the movie. You have a brain the size of a planet. Use it."
I love talking with my firstborn about what's going on in his life. He's 21, and a Junior at UCLA. He has a long-term girlfriend. He told me that I won the cool boyfriend's parent award. He and his girlfriend enjoy dinner with me, my partner and the little brother. I don't lecture them. I treat them like the bright engaging young adults they are. Apparently, not so much with my ex or with the girlfriend's parents.
I love going out to dinner with the little one. We like the same restaurants and more often than not, we'll order the same item on the menu.
I enjoy my youngest's sense of humor. He, my partner and I have the same senses of humor. We can never go wrong with a "that's what she said" line. My beloved and I used to try to hide our TWSS thoughts until we realized that, in his mind, he'd beaten us to the punchline. Bright kid. No poker face.
I love talking with my oldest about his love life. I've been giving him (age appropriate) sex talks since he was a fetus. Now, they're bearing fruit. Because he knows my gender history, he knows that I know what it's like to be a teenage boy experiencing first love and discovering sex for the first time.
He also trusts me to speak from the woman's perspective. He tells me what he gets up to. He asks questions. He pretends to listen to my answers.
I do love both my children differently, but I also love them equally. Completely.