What is it like to find out your child has Down Syndrome? originally appeared on Quora - the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.
Answer by Tim Heyes, father of Laurie, who has Down's Syndrome, on Quora:
There are four of us in our family. There's a mummy and a daddy (Hannah and Tim, from this point on referred to as "we"), there's an older brother Austin (he's 5), and a younger sister, Laurie (she's 4).
Laurie loves putting her dolls to bed, going to school, bouncing on the trampoline, and being chased. Laurie was also diagnosed with Down's syndrome Trisomy 21 at 9 weeks old.
Austin loves Star Wars, Superman, bats, and dinosaurs, and wants to be a superhero when he grows up. We're a normal family.
Now that's a fairly bold statement. What's normal? Well, normal for us is sometimes staying in our pajamas until lunchtime on a Sunday. Normal is two children fighting over a lightsaber whilst dressed as a fairy and a werewolf; all standard family things. I guess we like to think of ourselves as normal with additions or normal "plus."
Laurie was born at home, in our bedroom (all planned, by the way) after a very calm, very quick labour at 7:30 AM on Friday, April 13, 2012. Austin met her later that day once he had come home from nursery. We said, "Austin, this is your new baby sister, Laurie." He looked at her, looked at us, and simply said, "Lalu." And that's what she's been called by family and friends ever since.
We got on with having a new baby for another eight weeks and it was at her eight week check that we asked the doctor to have a look at her feet (she had a large gap between her big and second toe) and a week later we had a diagnosis of Down's Syndrome. That was the start of a new leg of our journey.
It was a shock, a big adjustment. So what happened next?
We concentrated on family life for a bit. We told family and very close friends, but we didn't worry about telling other people at that point - we focused on getting into a routine as a family and on giving our children as much love as possible, and that helped us to stay grounded and look after ourselves. Then, when we were ready, we let people know and made sure they knew we were comfortable to talk and answer any of the questions that, of course, it was natural if they wanted to ask.
We are fortunate to be able to say our families on both sides are fantastic. They are keen to learn all about our day-to-day routines and what they can do to help. It is invaluable to know that someone is there if things are a little tough, which they can sometimes be.
We learned about the way our daughter, or any individual with a diagnosis of Down's Syndrome, learns and processes information, and health professionals (and new friends alike) have provided us with, and encouraged us to use, techniques and tools to help Laurie to blossom and thrive as an individual who enjoys learning about and participating in the world around her.
This has had a positive impact on the way we see ourselves as parents, as we feel able to help her to the best of our ability because we are learning how she learns, how she thinks, and in this we know we are doing the best to help her to be all that she has the potential to be.
We have challenges. Sometimes it feels like an uphill struggle. But we feel lucky, we feel blessed.
Are there things we wish we'd known? Well, the winning numbers for the lottery, for one!
You can't know the future, but you can make plans for your family. You can set in place ways to help your children when they're older and ways to help them when you're gone.
But surely the healthiest way to live, for yourself, for your family is to be in the here and now, enjoying each other, being a family, and accepting the challenges that come; because they will come. Because that's life.
If we were to write a letter from ourselves now, to ourselves at the beginning, it would possibly go something like this:
Don't worry too much. You're actually going to be fine.
Your children are beautiful and incredible and amazing and sometimes annoying and infuriating and they're going to make you laugh every single day.
Try not to worry about things that haven't happened yet.
Plan well, but enjoy each day...
This question originally appeared on Quora. - the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights. You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. More questions: Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.