This question originally appeared on Quora.
Answer by Emilya Burd, Thinker
- Don't compete with your girlfriends for guys -- it's not worth it, and it's low. I see it all the time as an ego boost -- girls go for the same guy, and it's a competition game. It's low. You will lose friendships over this. It shows more about your personality and the kind of person you are than anything else.
- Listen to your gut feeling, forget what others say you 'should.' Your gut feeling is that little voice that tells you the right thing to do -- forget what others say. Or what he says you should be doing.
- Happiness comes from within you and working on yourself. It's a hard process to like yourself, it's a constant work in progress -- but it's your own achievements, and you finding happiness within yourself is the thing that will make you mostly happy -- not the perfect body, not the perfect boyfriend, and not having the job you're supposed to have that everyone adores you for it. It's internally you.
- It's possible to be extremely close platonic friends with the opposite sex. Try it, it's great -- some of my closest, best friends are the opposite sex.
- Give it time after a breakup. Most of the time -- sever all contact for a few months, then you can get back into talking. I find that it's possible to be extremely close friends after dating, being boyfriend/girlfriend for awhile.
- Cheer on other women, don't hate on them! We really have a weird relationship with our gender in my opinion. "Who hates women more than other women?"- SNL
- It's okay to be single. The boyfriend doesn't have to be "right now, every second." I don't know why so many would rather be in a relationship, sleeping with someone, having one night stands -- as if a guy needs to be in a life right now in any capacity. Work on yourself and do what you like -- isn't it better to find that click?
- Love yourself.
- You will always be a work in progress.
- Cherish the friends and family in your lives. Life isn't supposed to be easy, but maintaining the closest to you will be a lifesaver in the most trying times
...that's from me, a 23 year old self.
More questions on Women: