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Yes, An Orthodox Rabbi Can 'Do' a Commitment Ceremony

Posted: 12/16/2011 1:46 am

Co-written with Rabbi Menachem Creditor

Our colleague and teacher, Rabbi Steve Greenberg, is an Orthodox rabbi who will go down in history as being the first Orthodox rabbi to officiate a Jewish commitment ceremony and civil marriage for two men. In a recent article in The Jewish Week, Rabbi Greenberg explained that this ceremony, which took place in Washington, D.C., was not a "gay Orthodox wedding," as was sensationally reported. He wrote, "I officiated at a ceremony that celebrated the decision of two men to commit to each other in love and to do so in binding fashion before family and friends. Though it was a legal marriage according to the laws of the District of Columbia, as far as Orthodox Jewish law (halacha) is concerned, there was no kiddushin (Jewish wedding ceremony) performed."

Rabbi Reuven Spolter responded to Rabbi Greenberg's actions in a blog post, "Why Has My Yeshiva Not Revoked Steven Greenberg's Semichah?" We write this as a response to Rabbi Spolter.

As two Conservative rabbis who were both ordained at the same rabbinical seminary, we also regard our semicha (rabbinical ordination) as a special honor whose legitimacy must be preserved. Like Rabbi Spolter and Rabbi Bernard Revel before him, we would hope that our rabbinical seminary would take back the semicha of a colleague who grossly violated either Torah law or civil law. However, Rabbi Spolter is mistaken in his characterization of Rabbi Steve Greenberg's writings and actions.

Rabbi Greenberg has violated neither Torah law nor civil law. He has used his rabbinate to help right a wrong. In officiating at a same-sex commitment ceremony between two men, Rabbi Greenberg may not have acted in a way that fits Rabbi Spolter's belief structure, but he also did not violated any laws. The "to'eva" (abomination) in Leviticus speaks to a sexual act. Nowhere does it discuss a life-cycle ceremony drawing upon the language of our sacred tradition to bless a relationship between two souls.

As to Rabbi Spolter's concerns about Rabbi Greenberg using the title "Orthodox Rabbi" (or, more specifically, "Modern Orthodox Rabbi"), he should know that "Orthodox Rabbi" is not a halachic (Jewish legal) term. Rabbi Spolter would be hard-pressed to point to any text in the Shulchan Aruch (Code of Jewish Law) in which the term "Orthodox Rabbi" is used. We are certain that rabbis in Agudath Israel of American (Haredi) do not consider Chovevei Torah (Open Orthodox) musmachim (ordainees) to be legitimate "Orthodox Rabbis." I'm sure that any graduate of Yeshiva University's Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary (RIETS), like Rabbi Spolter and Rabbi Greenberg, wouldn't want to be lumped together with the "Orthodox Rabbis" of Neturei Karta (anti-Zionist Haredi). These are political distinctions with religious implications, but they are not halachic categories.

Rabbi Greenberg is an Orthodox Rabbi in the sense that he received his semicha from RIETS. The way he uses his semicha is not "vulgar," as Rabbi Spolter put it. Quite the contrary. Standing under the chuppah (wedding canopy) with two men who have committed to spend their lives together, raise a family and grow old with each other in a loving way does not negate a person's ability to call himself an "Orthodox Rabbi." Yeshiva University or RIETS could certainly yank Rabbi Greenberg's semicha, but it wouldn't be for a violation of halacha. Rather, it would be for his violating a social norm that makes some Jews like Rabbi Spolter uncomfortable.

The role of Judaism has always been to raise the mundane to touch the sacred. God's world is full of opportunities for holiness. When two Jews find each other and are prepared to enter into a covenantal relationship, there is more than enough guidance that halacha provides to frame the moment. Furthermore, it is a responsibility we each carry as rabbis to stand with our people, person by person.

We hope that Rabbi Spolter and others will read these words from Rabbi Greenberg and try to understand why this Orthodox rabbi chose to courageously do what no other Orthodox rabbi before him had done:

Last December my partner and I returned from India with our newly born daughter. During the year of planning for her birth, I began to feel that I was failing as a rabbi to give young gay people hope in a religiously coherent future. As friends and students found spouses and decided to make families, it felt increasingly wrong to provide no context for commitment and celebration. Naming our daughter in an Orthodox synagogue and celebrating her birth there sealed my resolve.

While the condemnation of many is strong, I have received the quiet encouragement (if not always agreement) of a number of my Orthodox colleagues. While I do not expect other Orthodox rabbis to perform a ceremony of this sort any time soon, I do expect that we come to earn their understanding and respect as we take the frames of halacha seriously in the constructing of our committed relationships. In my view, the ceremony was beautiful, halachically informed and religiously meaningful, and I do hope that through consideration of it, the Orthodox community (and perhaps beyond) will come to recognize the human issues at stake.

We offer our congratulations to the two men whose relationship Rabbi Greenberg has helped to make sacred in our Tradition. We also offer our highest praise to Rabbi Greenberg and pray that he will serve as a beacon of hope to those in the Orthodox gay community who never thought they could be in a committed, blessed partnership.

Rabbi Jason Miller is based in Metro Detroit and is on Facebook. Rabbi Menachem Creditor is based in Bay Area and is on Twitter and Facebook.

 

Follow Rabbi Jason Miller on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rabbijason

Co-written with Rabbi Menachem Creditor Our colleague and teacher, Rabbi Steve Greenberg, is an Orthodox rabbi who will go down in history as being the first Orthodox rabbi to officiate a Jewish comm...
Co-written with Rabbi Menachem Creditor Our colleague and teacher, Rabbi Steve Greenberg, is an Orthodox rabbi who will go down in history as being the first Orthodox rabbi to officiate a Jewish comm...
 
 
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This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
07:30 PM on 12/20/2011
"As two Conservative rabbis who were both ordained at the same rabbinical seminary, we also regard our semicha (rabbinical ordination) as a special honor whose legitimacy must be preserved."

Rabbi, you realize that Rabbi Spolter has no more regard for your ordination than he has for R. Greenberg's.

It speaks to the utterly insular mentality of Yeshiva University these days. Apart from Avi Weiss and his students, there is no more "Modern Orthodoxy". There's Haredism and Haredism Lite.
bklynsparrow
creating reality from unreal things
11:32 AM on 12/17/2011
"Rabbi Greenberg has violated neither Torah law nor civil law. He has used his rabbinate to help right a wrong." I think this is the single most compelling argument for applauding Rabbi Greenberg. Jewish Law has changed many times over the years- it grows and adapts. When laws cause unnecessary pain and hurt, they should be changed because I do not believe G-d intended His laws to be used for hurt, but for good.
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h111aryc1inton
Just trying to tell the truth
01:00 PM on 12/16/2011
This would seem to me to be a very complex issue - but if homosexuality is in fact forbidden under orthodox teaching of what a Torah Jew is expected (or in this case not expected to do), then how in fact can Rabbi Greenberg be considered an Orthodox Rabbi?

I also do not understand calling this service a marriage...even Rabbi Greenberg seems to feel it is not.
01:10 PM on 12/16/2011
Its called a marriage because same sex marriage is fully legal where this took place. The couple have the same marriage license everyone else married in D.C. get. Rabbi Greenberg is licensed to officiate in DC. Now whether it is recognised as valid by the Jewish faith, that a totally separate issue.
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h111aryc1inton
Just trying to tell the truth
01:57 PM on 12/16/2011
Sorry I should have qualified my statement - yes it is a marriage - just is not a Jewish marriage - certainly not an orthodox marriage.
05:31 PM on 12/16/2011
Even if the Torah does not permit sexual relations between two men (and that can be debated), there are many other things that the Torah does not permit.

If a couple eats ham, which the Torah forbid, does that make a rabbi who marries them not Orthodox? If the groom does not pray three times a day, does that make the rabbi who marries him not Orthodox?

Even in this case, we don't know whether the men who got married were breaking any laws of the Torah. Sometimes people live together without having sex.

Furthermore, as the article states, the rabbi broke no Jewish law and broke no civil law, so there is no basis by which to claim he should no longer be considered an Orthodox rabbi.
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h111aryc1inton
Just trying to tell the truth
10:39 AM on 12/18/2011
I am not questioning Rabbi Greenberg performing the ceremony - which even he called a union not a Jewish wedding.

I am questioning him being an openly gay man and still being an Orthodox Rabbi.

So using your examples - can a person be an Orthodox Rabbi if he himself eats ham? Can he be an Orthodox Rabbi if he does not even attempt to pray 3 times a day?

My answer would be no...
12:18 PM on 12/16/2011
I think gay men should be able to have a jewish marriage. but i don't follow halacka, so Torah text is not a problem for me. This splitting of hairs by this rabbi is creative. good for him. Now why can't he split hairs in Agunah. and why do the Orthodox complain when the conservative find a way to update the law.
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h111aryc1inton
Just trying to tell the truth
02:07 PM on 12/16/2011
It has always been my understand that the difference between orthodox/conservative and reform is the question of where the Torah and Laws came about:
- Orthodox believe the Laws were WRITTEN by God - leaving very little room to "update them"
- Conservatives seem to believe they were written by man but INSPIRED by God - certainly leaving room to "update"
- Reform believe the Laws were written by man with God in mind - with much more room for rewriting or "updating"

If anyone has a better explanation - I would be happy to hear it.
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yoyo1900
03:31 PM on 12/28/2011
Very good point. I am not a Jew but have taken an Intro to Judaism course at a local temple. I was taken by the Reform version because they were so accepting of others and not critical and judgemental as the Orthodox.
12:07 PM on 12/16/2011
So you split the difference by asserting that you can perform a ceremony because it's halachically meaningless? That means you could marry two gay Lutherans at a Lutheran ceremony as well.
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Cindy Tregan
Proud D.F.H. Lib'rul
12:15 PM on 12/16/2011
Depends on which synod - LCMS Lutherans are far, far too uptight and stodgy to ever allow such a thing.
01:19 PM on 12/16/2011
Being legally married and having that marriage recognised by a specific religion or denomination are two separate things. My sister (atheist) and her husband (raised Episcopalian) were married by an officiant who happened to be ordained in the Lutheran faith, but it was not in a church nor did it have any "religiosity" in the ceremony. She is a friend of the family. They are fully, legally married. My parent, both atheists were married by an eastern orthodox preist (again friend of the family).

Using your example, yes if same sex marriage is legal where those 2 Lutherans are, and as long as the officiant was licensed in that state, they can get legally married using whatever ceremony they like. Whether or not the church recognises it does not affect its civil legality.