This is a strange time for Jews. We wave goodbye to Chanukah and enter into the holiday season. Our festival of light comes to an end, but everywhere around us the houses and stores are lit in many colors, we are wished happy holidays, and see the world being divided between the scrooges and those with the true spirit of the season. What should be the Jewish response to Christmas, whether it is part of our own family, on our block or just floating in the air -- how should the season be greeted?
The Portion of the Torah we read this Shabbat hints at the different ways to approach a dominant force. Judah, whose name gives us our identification as Jews, confronts Joseph, without knowing that the powerful despot before him, dressed in the fashion of Egypt is actually his brother. At stake in his mind is the fate of of his whole family, the children of Jacob. The text says "he approached" The Sages ask, What does approach mean? They answer: One of three possibilities: He approached for war, he approached for appeasement, or he approached for prayer.
How could he prepare for war against such a powerful adversary? According to a rabbinic tradition, Judah had superhuman strength when he was angry. When he readied himself for a fight he would chew on two metal pellets and he would break out so dramatically that the hairs on his chest would rip through his tunic. So, the Sages imagine that if he so chose, Judah could have destroyed all of Egypt then and there.
I suppose that is one way some of us respond to the Christmas season. Grit our teeth and fantasize about having the power to reprogram the radio stations and take down some of the more egregious displays. In a more serious vein, we can feel at war with the greater power that flexes its muscles as the dominant religion.
The second possibility, however, for Judah was appeasement. In that version Judah was ready to offer anything to make sure that this Egyptian potentate would spare his family (especially the little brother Benjamin). There was not a true sense of accord or reconciliation here, only strategic groveling. And there are times that we do that too in regards to our place in this country. We make our compromises and go with the flow. We find the best way to feel included while still knowing that we are still on the outside looking in.
The first two approaches seem to be polar opposites and it is difficult to see how Judah could have done both at once. But what about the third, tefilah -- prayer. What did it mean to say that Judah approached in prayer? A beautiful reading by the Chasidic master Elimelech of Lezansk teaches us a possible understanding. "Since the text only says, Judah approached but does not spell out to whom he approached, we can say that he moved not toward Joseph, but to G*d." In other words, at the moment of feeling threatened, Judah looked in prayer to a higher and deeper place beyond his own horizons.
And what happens? Joseph reveals himself to be his brother and all the sons of Jacob learn that they never were in danger at the hands of the man they thought to be a stranger.
This teaching shows that the alternative to pushing our identity as a conflict or trying to fit in out of fear is to make a true connection to a core belief in who we are and what it means to us to be part of the Jewish people. A celebration of the blessings in our own house even as we celebrate that others will have their own ways to seek meaning and find holiness in the world we share. The stronger we feel connected to the pillars of our community, the values that inspire us and the practices that strengthen our bonds, the more we can honor the customs and beliefs that animate those around us.