Gays as the New Religious Bogeyman

Opponents of President Bush chart the erosion of his presidency to the war in Iraq, the failure to initially address the Katrina devastation, and the breakdown of the American banking system. All of this may be so, but it is equally likely that the outgoing President did much good for which he is given little credit. Be that as it may, I identify President Bush's going off message to another event entirely. In the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, the President's famous reaction was to encourage the country to go on a shopping spree. "Get down to Disney World in Florida," he urged just over two weeks after 9/11. "Take your families and enjoy life, the way we want it to be enjoyed." There are times when a great nation awakens from a materialistic slumber and experiences an urge for spirituality and togetherness. And those are the wrong times to turn their hearts back to shopping malls and the impulse purchase.

Few of us living in the United States can believe the extent of the financial meltdown in our country. I have consistently maintained that it is devastation born of a spiritual crisis. For too long we Americans have tried to plug the gaping holes at our center with fancier clothing, bigger homes, and the latest gadgets. We have thought that shopping was an acceptable alternative for a true spiritual calling. This failure to awaken the nation to a higher spiritual purpose is in turn a failure of religion itself.

All across our nation, religion is being ridiculed and is on the retreat. The 80 million born-again Christians who had such a pronounced role in Bush's two victories were impotent in the last election. Bill Maher and a host of other atheists make a financial killing by portraying religious people as knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who swallow faith uncritically and send their money to charlatan televangelists who fly around in their gas-guzzling G5's.

Indeed, great defenders of the faith would be forgiven if they were to conclude that in America religion is losing its focus as well as its rational dimension.

Take the American religious obsession with homosexuals. Last week, This World: The Jewish Values Network, which I founded, hosted a debate between a leading evangelical scholar and myself on whether Judaism and Christianity are religions of peace. My opponent, a man of great learning and even greater decency, made it clear that in stating "Love your enemies," Jesus included Osama bin Laden. Yet, when it came to gay men who want to get married, he seemed to concur that were this to happen the whole of American society would begin to unweave. Indeed, I have heard some of my evangelical brethren make it sound as if gays were a greater danger to America than terrorists.

I will not in this column get into the arguments for and against gay marriage. What I will say is that religion in America has made homosexuality into a false bogeyman, which has seriously distracted religion from giving real values to an increasingly valueless society. Is this really what religious values in America has come to, opposition to gay marriage?

What do you think would do more to save heterosexual marriage in America? Making sure gays can't get hitched, or changing the tax code so that marital counseling among heterosexual couples becomes tax-deductible so that couples can actually afford the help they need? What should religion be devoting its energy to? Opposing gay marriage in California, or supporting an effective national campaign for school vouchers so that parents can afford to send their children to schools that teach religious values like male respect for women and the sanctity of a loving relationship?

I have devoted my entire life to saving marriage. I have counseled thousands of couples in crisis. I have authored twenty books on spirituality and relationships. Never once have I believed that by opposing homosexuality I was bringing a husband and wife closer together. Rather, by seeking to increase the desire between husband and wife and by fostering true emotional intimacy between them, I was working to ensure that fewer American children would end up like me, the product of a broken home. Homosexuality is nothing but a distraction.

America has serious social problems. Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Forty million married Americans are in platonic marriages. One out of three American women are on an anti-depressant. Innumerable men are deeply into pornography. Our teenagers have unacceptably high rates of sexuality and pregnancy. And yet, I cannot name a single religious initiative that appeared on a single ballot to combat any of these problems, save for Proposition 8 in California that sought to ban gay marriage. Let's be honest: Gays don't have to kill off heterosexual marriage. We straight people have done a fine job already.

What religion suffers from, not just in our time but for all time, is its dualistic impulse. Simply stated, religion seems to need enemies. Many religious people thrive on an us and them mentality. The G-dly and the G-dless. The righteous and the sinful. The forces of light battling the forces of darkness.

But Judaism's vision of a religious future is monist, one in which all people will come together to create a just and compassionate society. The prophet Isaiah said that in the future, "I shall bring them to my holy mountain, and I shall make them joyous in my Home... for My Temple shall be called a House of Prayer for all peoples." The future of religion in America and abroad is one in which religion finds the good in others even as it maintains its standards and morals. Pastors may oppose gay marriage. But given the limited resources available to religion and the social rot that is all around us, can we not dedicate those resources to ends that unite and inspire instead of divide and alienate?

My plan to save the American family does not involve fighting any group, but rather bequeathing the Jewish Sabbath as a gift all the American people. I propose that we "Turn Friday Night into Family Night" throughout the nation, with millions of families committing to having dinner with their children with the TV and cell phone off, with guests invited so that hospitality is practiced, with children being heard by their parents with the noise of the world filtered out, and with husbands and wives focusing on each other rather than the myriad actors that invade their home through television.

An ancient Jewish legend says that when the whole world keeps just one Sabbath the Messiah will come. For our time perhaps this means that when religion chooses to give the world something that unites rather than divides, redemption will finally come.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is the founder of This World: The Jewish Values Network. His new book The Kosher Sutra: Eight Sacred Secrets of Desire will be published in January.

Comments

[jamesinsf]

Gay people have been the bogeyman for a very long time, this is not a new phenomenon. Go back about 40 years to the rise of the Reaganoids: they were using us as their punching bags to whip up their followers, build a power base, and to roll in the big money to fund the rise of the American right. Look back into the early part of the 1900s and we were legally seen as deviants, religions saw us as "sinners" and "perverts", and medicine saw us as "diseased". Check out Sontag's book, "Illness as Metaphor", that has a new introduction written after the onset of the AIDS epidemic in the USA.

As a middle-aged gay man, I have experienced bigotry from fundamentalists of all religions, most notably the Abrahamic ones: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. It would appear that these people actually have little faith in their own creed, since they have to use their holy books and various deities to beat up gay people. What a shame that some authentic spiritual messages have gotten conflated with political ambition! It would appear that the rise of the American rightists has taken a page from the book of the rise of Catholicism in the use of power, misinformation, demonization of the "other", and a rejection of rational thought.

James

Jimboland Jots >>> http://www.jimboland.com

The world from a freethinker, gay, green, radical, and American progressive worldview

[WolfLady]

Having been raised under the strictures and prohibitions of Orthodox Judaism, I have first-hand knowledge of just how mysogynistic a faith system it is. I wonder if the good rabbi dutifully recites the following blessing every morning, as required of all males: "Blessed art Thou, Lord our God, King of the Universe, who hast NOT made me a woman." (Women, on the other hand, are required to say: "Blessed art Thou, Lord our God, King of the Universe, who has made me according to Thy will.") And how about the sneering Talmudic principle "Nashim da'aten kallot", which means "Women, their minds are simple." And on, and on, and on.

The western organized religions are all based on fear, punishment, and mind control. They have nothing to do with spirituality. Gays aren't the only ones targeted by their robotic adherents. Sorry, Shmuley, but been there, done that.

~WolfLady~

[Wes Isley - Huffpost Blogger]

It is so refreshing and reassuring to hear someone like Rabbi Boteach encourage religious persons to focus on promoting their values in this way rather than what we see in the controversy over gay marriage. Somehow they've lost sight of what their faith is all about. Thank you for an enlightening piece.

[rjmiller]

While I agree with your point that religions battling gay marriage is a waste of time (obviously), I have to disagree with essentially every single other point you made.

1) Lack of religion = poor values and degradation of society
You seem to be under the impression that there used to be some "Golden Age" where everyone was nice and had perfect morality. This is a myth. It never happened.

2) Religion = ethics, and athiests therefore are unethical
As an athiest, I have to refute this. My ethical values are based on rational thought and built on strong ethical philosophy. Beyond that, your condescension to the unreligious is offensive.

3) The school vouchers claim
Instead of throwing money at religious schools, I would prefer that money was fairly distributed to public schools. This would improve overall education instead of promoting religious schools. Also, I think teaching religion to children is tantamount to brainwashing, they haven't developed the analytical tools to be discerning of the information fed to them in dogmatic religious education.

[Halsey]

Rabbi..you state:

I have consistently maintained that it is devastation born of a spiritual crisis. For too long we Americans have tried to plug the gaping holes at our center with fancier clothing, bigger homes, and the latest gadgets. We have thought that shopping was an acceptable alternative for a true spiritual calling

I think this NAILS it..."born agains" need SOMEONE or SOMETHING to blame...my Gosh...go to Saddleback some sunday...hundreds and hundreds of 'god's people" singing songs I've never heard..THEN..giving some money (10%..me thinks not)...and..then..doing NOTHING to feed and clothe poor children (I cut Rick some slack on this as he IS trying to change the focus...from anti-abortion..to helping those born)...

I go to Brentwood Pres..and they actually had a class called "gays in the bible"...and it was not fascitious. who CARES if two people love each other and want to commit...heteros better be careful..if this this catches on..divorce...(1 out of 2)...will become very very diffcult...

A side note...are you telling me Caroline Kennedy is denied communion? me thinks not...

[OtayPanky]

Many Jewish and Christian fundamentalists (including the Rabbi) find themselves pulled in two directions:

One one hand, their religious commitment to what they believe is "the Word of God" calls them to declare that homesexual behavoir is (and I quote from Leviticus - one of the five books of the Torah) an ABOMINATION.

On the other hand, their human decency (and most, like the Rabbi, are reasonably decent folks) calls them to acceptance of those who are sexually different.

This creates a state of cognitive dissonance which manifests itself when it comes to allowing or prohibiting same sex marriage.

We can't reasonably expect Rabbi Boteach, or his friend Pat Robertson, or countless others like them, to give up their loyalty to the words of the Bible. It's just not going to happen.

What we can do is decide, once and for all, that CIVIL marriage has nothing to do with any particular religion, or religious idea. Marriage in the eyes of the state is all about LEGAL rights and responsibilities - and that's ALL it should be about in our secular civil society.

If some religious institution wants to recognize or not recognize the marriage, that's their business - and their business alone. But their choices should have nothing to do with people's basic rights.

The Catholic church forbids remarriage after divorce - and excommunicates or bars from communion those Catholics who do remarry. But that doesn't bar divorced Catholics from exercising their civil rights if remarriage is what they

[Paulo1]

Well that was rather amazing. Rabbi you managed a very eloquent dialog on marriage and the demonizing of gay people without stating support for the concept of marriage rights for all. It was also very well argued. A point I have made repeatedly is that the true fear is that gay people will do better at marriage than straight people. Certainly can't do worse.

I would argue that modern Fundamentalism, no matter the faith, exists as a form of anti social, anti modern, anti intellectual movement. The heart of all great religions have been cursed with extremist fundamentalists who seek to persecute someone in the name of faith. Historically such barbaric faith movements that need a scapegoat have always found targets. Jews, Heretics, Cathars, Islam, Sufi, Witches, gays... the list of targets goes on forever and will not end until a time when the persecution of fundamentalist persecution takes the place of tolerance for it.

[Ohg]

The issue should have nothing to do with religion .....................

http://thefiresidepost.com/2008/11/14/the-right-to-privacy-the-9th-amendment-gay-marriage/

[gloweybabe]

I am glad that Rabbi Schmuley wrote this artice & I thank him. I have watched his TV program and I really enjoy his message of peace and shalom. BTW, I am an agnostic and I get sick of being painted as some criminal by the religious right. I have a wonderful family who are all agnostics as well. My son graduated from the UC System in 3 years and is on his way to law school. I have raised happy & healthy children without any organized religion but with honesty and fairness.

I am hoping that the Courts in California address Prop 8 and see how devisive and descriminatory it is. The hate that is being generated is coming from the EXTREME religious right and they do need to practice what they preach!

[GJKBEAR]

While I agree with the Rabbi that gays should not be demonized, I don't agree with him that non-religious people are bankrupting American Society. I am a Unitarian Universalist and we had a whole campaign that favored "Standing on the Side of Love." Our churches are full of socially active people who believe that everyone has dignity and worth - and some of those people are agnostic or atheist. I don't think that one necessarily has to believe in GOD to be morally and ethically sound. There are just many paths to the divine. What matters are your ethics - it is just as important as how you believe as what you believe.
Some Religions NEED an evil. If there is not an evil, they find one. Communism, Socialism, Blacks, Italians, Jews, Terrorists, Gays - it is all about fear. I also don't believe that all children need a religious education 7 days a week. What they do need is schools that teach them how to function in the world; how to think critically and not to just parrot back answers. It is not just as simple as returning to 'religion' - there are more problems than that.

[JackHarkness]

Thank you Rabbi for your insightful column. The GLBTQ Community is fortunate to have you on our side. I look forward to your future posts on this and other subjects.

I am not Jewish, so I cannot judge how this will be taken, but I trust you will understand the spirit in which it is offered. The presence of you and your kind words, added to the rising chorus of others just like you lead me to believe the Messiah has already come. He (She, It?) is alive and well and given immediacy and life in the sentiments and actions of all of those on this planet just like you. I believe that we are all being called to that level of compassionate and constructive action on a daily basis. It is just my opinion that 7 billion Messiahs are better than one...

Shalom.

[wdw102]

I just object to having to modify my company's handbook each time another state decides to allow judges to change laws from the bench. I will now pay for family health care coverage with marriages entered into in 10 states around mine. I have checked all my current employees they all fit the 10 states. Anyone else may not received family coverage without paying for it. I will pay for a single plan. I know of 31 other businesses that have changed their company policies.

Since gay marriage is now legal in liberal states a lot of businesses are changing their insurance policies

gays get married in two states and then expect a natural nationwide respect of this document by all employers.......it is not going to happen.......we just do not accept any documentation from any state outside of the 11 total states .....a new employee from CA had to go out and get an Ohio drivers license, because we do not accept the one from CA.......

[YellowDogInRedCounty]

We are all pretty tired of hearing your complaints about your employee handbook and insurance. It's not about YOU, my friend. It's about equality and you can neatly place your employee handbook in a place where nobody will ever want to see it. You are a perfect argument for single-payer health insurance. Nobody's rights or benefits should be determined by the whims of individuals like you.

[barbwiregrrl]

Dear Rabbi,

Thank you for the article. I am Jewish and also a lesbian. I know in my heart that the true way to spiritual unity is not through fighting eachother but rather through finding commonality. I also know that my wife and I (We were married in CA on October) pose no threat to any of my heterosexual brothers or sister
s relationships. Rather seeing the strenght and love we share has shown that we can be models of stability and our children are well adjusted, healthy, brillant children who know what it is to love G-d and respect their religion and culture. Our son will be Bar Mitzvahed this Spring and both of his mothers will be there to honor him.

the nachas we share about our children and our marriage is no different than my heterosexual brother or sister. Except that they are both on 2nd and third marriages where we have been together 25 years.

Shalom

[abbeyroad]

extree extree, read all about it !

"mormons beat up women at a no on h8 protest in front of a mormon temple" !!!

http://www.latimes.com/video/?slug=la-me-protest7-2008nov07-vid

the police are investigating the beatings as a HATE CRIME.

[peithecelt]

This is why I continue to defend the religious to my friends (heavily weighted towards liberal agnostics who are frustrated by the religious right in this country). Same sex couples by no means threaten my marriage, it's the day that we get lazy about taking time for us and our daughter that our family is risked... It shocks me how many people would rather blame "someone else."

Thank you Rabbi.