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Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

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Surviving a Brutal Winter

Posted: 01/18/11 10:52 PM ET

I grew up in the warm climates of Los Angeles and Miami Beach. I studied two years as a Rabbinical student in Sydney, Australia. Even when I lived for 11 years in Oxford, England as Rabbi at the University it rarely got wintery cold. So living in the northeastern United States is quite a challenge during the winter months and I'm writing this column while another foot of snow falls outside my door.

Man, has this been a brutal winter. The snow, the slush, the ice, the freezing rain. What the heck are people doing living here?

I survive the winters through three things. The first is a natural fireplace. I love real fires. I love the soothing sound of crackling wood and I love being warmed by their glow. I also love ordering my kids to make one for me.

The second is a warm robe. I decided this year to splurge on a nice one. What was I thinking for the first 43 years of my life. They say that a man needs two things in life. A good woman and a good lawyer. Add to that list a warm winter robe and you're set. Yes, I've become Lionel from Charlie Brown. Oh warm, life-giving robe. How spending are your wondrous pleasures.

And the third and most critical is skiing. If making lemonade out of lemons is the best way to turn a challenge into a blessing, then nothing tells nature to go shove it better than using all that snow to go skiing.

I discovered late, when I was about 25-years-old. I was living in England and was invited to a lecture in Geneva. From there my wife and I went to the slopes an hour away and on my first plunge down, convinced the poles were given to slow your speed by shoving them into the snow while moving at high velocity, the pole fired up like a missile, hit me in the chin, and nearly severed my tongue (fortunately for humanity it did not). When I walked to a local clinic, my wife holding my tongue in place, and heard the doctor say he had to put a needle through my tongue and switch it back together, I knew that G-d was punishing me for my sins. All that gossip had finally caught up with me.

Through the process of cognitive dissonance I first thought that the Doc had to be kidding. I was in absolute denial. Surely the man jests. But then I remembered that a joke has not been cracked in Switzerland since the first millennia. G-d's retribution had caught up with me. I held my wife's hand like a little child screaming as if I was in labor. The tongue survived and I have not gossiped since.

Overcoming my trauma, I was back on the slopes a few weeks later and persevered with my skiing. Within about three years I learned to get handily down a mountain, even if the technique I used was a little unorthodox, like yelling for help and flagging a snow mobile (Don't expect to see me on the Olympic downhill. I have but one tongue to give for my people).

Skiing provides, in one pristine package, all the things I adore. From fresh mountain air, to awe-inspiring mountain vistas, to being fully immersed in the beauty of nature, (not to mention an electric chairlift to indulge my indolence), it is the perfect antidote to the sedentary existence that can engulf so many in winter.

As my children got older I made sure to teach each of them to ski early. It was a simple process of gluing cut pieces of plastic to the bottom of their shoes after it snowed and pushing them down our inclined driveway. Dodging cars proved slightly more challenging. But slowly they learned.

Being in the New York metropolitan area, I feared that we would not find a good place to ski and that the steps outside our front door would be a life-long purgatory. I was therefore astonished to discover that just an hour from our home there was a broad and beautiful mountain resort with terrific skiing called Camelback in the Poconos of Pennsylvania. There my younger kids learned to fly down mountains while the older ones took to the terrain park doing jumps and all kinds of things that no force on earth could make me attempt (I like my tongue just the way it is). The Poconos are some of the Northeastern United States' most picturesque mountains and some of the most beautiful scenery east of the Appalachians. In the summer we hike them, cool off in the natural waterfalls, and have a blast at Camelback's water park on the same mountains where winter skiing is held. But the winter is when the place really comes to life.

Skiing is not the expensive sport it is said to be. You don't need all the fancy clothing or expensive skis. My son prefers to ski in simple jeans. And you can rent equipment at bargain basement prices for the entire season and at Camelback the half day pass, which is what we end up using anyway, is itself a bargain.

I am not enamored of ski resorts that have cut down all their trees, creating a bald and barren mountain. I love feeling that I am in a pristine Alpine setting and at Camelback the mountains look like mountains.

Immersing children in nature is fundamental not just to their physical but also spiritual and psychological well-being. As our children become couch potatoes, especially in the winter months, we often focus on how this contributes to childhood obesity and laziness. But we overlook how it also contributes to a constrained mental outlook and a character of artifice. Is it really conducive to a child's spiritual development to beat someone up with a lead pipe in a video game? But being surrounded by nature makes you feel more natural. Being surrounded by real beauty makes you shun contrived appearance. I have seen how much my children have benefited from being outdoors: from our camping and RV'ing to whitewater rafting to hiking and cycling, there is nothing more beautiful than being outdoors. And there is simply no excuse not to get your kids out in the winter months.

In my book Parenting with Fire I argued that the best kind of parenting is becoming a camp counselor, creating activities that constantly engage your kids.

So if you find yourself zipping down the Poconos on skis and a red blur whizzes right by you, you can safely assume it's me, especially if the blur is followed by a bunch of kids pretending not to be related to the guy right in front of them.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is a renowned child-rearing expert and the author of
Ten Conversations You Need to Have with Your Children, and Parenting with Fire, both of which were launched on the Oprah Winfrey Show. He has just published Honoring the Child Spirit: Inspiration and Learning from Our Children. Follow him on Twitter @RabbiShmuley.

 
 
 

Follow Rabbi Shmuley Boteach on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RabbiShmuley

I grew up in the warm climates of Los Angeles and Miami Beach. I studied two years as a Rabbinical student in Sydney, Australia. Even when I lived for 11 years in Oxford, England as Rabbi at the Unive...
I grew up in the warm climates of Los Angeles and Miami Beach. I studied two years as a Rabbinical student in Sydney, Australia. Even when I lived for 11 years in Oxford, England as Rabbi at the Unive...
 
 
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03:55 AM on 01/29/2011
We used to go skiing in the Catskills and VT in the eighties. Now we are too old to ski, our bodies can't handle it.
05:10 PM on 01/19/2011
We too love to ski and take our three teens as often as we can. But, we took them one day over Christmas break and it cost $220 for the five of us to ski one day in Vermont. In my book that is a lot of money! There are some family mountains that are a little cheaper but my kids are 19, 16,15 and have skiied since they were three. The smaller ones just are not challenging enough for them. They are at the bottom in seconds. As for the rabbi in the lead, don't expect that to stay for too much longer; we are lucky if the kids will do a run with us becuase they consider us to slow. And we are both very good skiiers.
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sharonsj
10:56 AM on 01/19/2011
If you want to know how the poor survive the winter, without a fireplace and lemonade, I can tell you. Get an electric heater that uses sealed liquid, drape a blanket over it and your body, and you can stay warm. And though I talk to God constantly, God has nothing to do with how the poor and elderly are treated in this country, but Congress does.
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JScott
John Galt's last name is McGuffin-Smithee
10:42 AM on 01/19/2011
Should you ever come back to So Cal. make a trip to Mammoth Mtn. the skiing is great there, or even the local places like Mt. Baldy, Big Bear or Mountain High.
09:24 AM on 01/19/2011
Just wondering what this has to do with spirituality?
08:19 AM on 01/19/2011
This is all very nice but really, one should never ski in "simple jeans!"
HansB
The only good certainty is a dead certainty
07:05 AM on 01/19/2011
Good article, but I think the occasional ski weekend or camping experience isn't enough. Nature should not surround children on exceptional occasions, but always. I left the city for that: I may now earn only 10$ an hour in the vineyards, but my children spend most of their free time outdoors. Playing along the stream and in the forests and fields may not be as exciting as rushing down a snowcovered slope, but it has one thing no sporting vacation can offer: it's every day.

And where other children say "bird", they say "magpie" or "yellow wagtail", and instead of "tree" they say "oak" or "robinia".
06:32 AM on 01/19/2011
Great Article Rabbi.

For future cultural reference "Linus" was the character from Charlie Brown with the security blanket and "Lionel" was the son from "Sanford and Son".

Enjoy the skiing!
photo
antaeus
Full-Cream Marriage Now
11:02 AM on 01/19/2011
Lamont was the son on SANFORD. Lionel was the son on THE JEFFERSONS.
09:33 PM on 01/20/2011
Darn it. You are right! My bad.
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ndem
02:50 AM on 01/19/2011
Love this and we make sure we ski once or twice a year and my daughter's school just took them on a week long ski trip. I would add that when I was a broke grad student I bought a $10 pair of old wooden Telemark skis (with seal skin on the bottom) with leather shoes and skied for free in the nearby National Park for years. When you grow up skiing near where you live, everyone skies, rich and not rich. One of my best sking experiences was also with jeans and whatever I had having decided to go while a student abroad who had definitely not lugged ski gear in my backpack

I would also add that if people want to really see and hear wintertime/nature to buy some old cross country or Telemark skis and take off with a backpack for a few hours. My daughter's favorite memory from last week's ski trip was while she was ou of bound's skiing and came across two chamois mountain goats.
11:44 PM on 01/18/2011
The person who wrote this article is very smart and insightful.
11:14 PM on 01/18/2011
I am constantly hearing from people that they can't afford to do things like skiing, or to take time off from work to go sledding when their kids have a snow day. Those people always have a lot more than I have - two cars, a TV that isn't half-broken, a week at Disney. Really, a day's lift ticket at the mountain near me costs the same as a haircut or manicure. My kids and I get our hair cut twice a year so that works out to a few extra ski days! Bowling with our entire family ten times is less than one plane ticket to Florida. We don't take as many big trips or drive a nice car, but we make sure to have fun ALL the time, and we know that this time with our children will never come again.
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ndem
02:52 AM on 01/19/2011
Love this and very true and wished more Americans lived this way! Here in Europe almost everyone skies and it is a delight to see kids lined up at the train stations for winter break. Sleds are great and when we lived in Norway one winter our entire winter weekends were basically focused on sledding and drinking hot chocolate. Once you buy the long lasting wooden sled...it's basically a free go.