For whatever cultural or natural reasons, at a certain time in our lives we become aware of a deep yearning for our family roots. Some of us, because we are a nation of immigrants, make pilgrimages far from home to walk the land our forefathers and foremothers did. Others of us rely on reading, family reunions, communicating through and searching the internet to connect to our past.
August, this month of abundant natural harvest of delicious fresh fruits and vegetables, is synchronous with harvesting the fruits of our relationships -- especially with those who have helped us grow, who nurtured and mentored us. Preserving and passing on those roots of our history is the sacred act of legacy writing.
In the fall of 2009, I worked with volunteers at the U.S. Holocaust Museum. It was a humbling opportunity. I was optimistic that these seniors would recover memories of nurturing relationships from before the war, and simultaneously terrified that they would feel disrespected that I was not focusing on their Holocaust experiences. They had committed themselves, their very identities -- some for over forty years -- to repeat their Holocaust stories so that the horror beyond understanding would not be forgotten; so that this horror would never happen again.
To lose track of our stories is to be profoundly impoverished not only humanly but also spiritually.
-- Frederick Buechner
But it has been 60 years since the war. I wanted their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, who yearned for whatever family roots were available to them, to hear about the treasures of life, not just the deaths of their ancestors.
I asked them to remember someone whom they had loved before the Holocaust and to write a short story of this memorable person, and about the values that they'd learned from this person. There was some mumbling, some grumbling and then it got quiet. There was only the sound of pens scratching on paper. Less than 15 minutes later, they were wanting to share their memory with the other volunteers. Here is one of those memories:
"It's almost impossible for me to remember anyone before the Holocaust, I do have a vivid memory of my grandfather -- the Rabbi of Ludbreg:In that town beggars came knocking on doors and asking for alms every Saturday and Wednesday -- market days in that small town. But of course, they didn't come to our door on Saturdays, since my grandfather could not respond on that day -- Shabbat. But on Wednesdays my grandfather would set up a little table in the garden when the weather was good and in the hallway in bad weather. On the table he would arrange little piles of change, and as the beggars, accustomed to this, and sometimes a Gypsy (Roma) or two came by, my grandfather would greet them and hand them each a little pile of money.
I was fascinated by all of this then -- and have remembered it always as a lesson 'to be kind to the less fortunate, and always be as generous as possible.'"
-- Dora Klayman ©2009
Some Suggestions for Action:
- A favorite memory or a story that keeps you connected to him or her
- A value of theirs that has influenced your life
- Something important to you that you want preserved and remembered
- Something that ancestor passed on specifically to you, without their awareness, that you treasure
3. Choose someone in generations younger than you to whom you want to pass on the story. Develop the story as a legacy letter, with a brief introduction of who the ancestor was and how he or she is related to you. Close the letter with a blessing from you -- that they will cherish their roots and preserve and pass these treasures to their children and grandchildren.
4. Tell someone of a younger generation something they don't know about who you are. Talk about your rootedness, your identity: something you want to be remembered for, something in your life you feel joy or gratitude about, something that you find precious, something you love to do or love about your life. Follow the suggestions in steps 2 and 3 to translate your story into a legacy letter.
May the memories and the life lessons
uncovered from your roots
strengthen your family and the identity
of your loved ones.
- Rachael Freed