Who could forget that iconic scene in When Harry Met Sally when Meg Ryan made every woman in America want to be at that same diner having that same "sandwich"? "I'll have what she's having" became the shorthand for a mind-blowing orgasm (or all-around fabulous dining experience). Women have always wanted what Meg Ryan was having, but many didn't know how to get it. Now, 25 years later, the omnipresence and directness of female sexual desire appears everywhere you turn. Every day, dozens, if not hundreds, of articles, blogs and commentaries discuss the phenomenon which I refer to as "Fifty Shades of Magic Mike."
Today, female desire is big business. As Abby Ellin wrote in the New York Times earlier this month, companies are finally focused on providing actual solutions -- such as Zestra, vibrators and intimate cosmetics -- and not just entertaining fantasies. So ladies, it is time to rev your proverbial engines.
Women are being bombarded by fantasies of desire. The trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey continues to dominate our discussion on female sexuality and desire. The books continue to fly off the shelves, onto iPads and get surreptitiously shoved in pocketbooks across the nation, with 31 million copies sold worldwide and counting. The movie rights were sold for seven figures and a global licensing deal for a range of products has been inked. Folks are betting on who will play Christian Grey in what will surely be a blockbuster movie. Every woman we know will be running to see it.
And don't forget Magic Mike, a film causing cash registers to ring across the country as it grossed almost $90 million in its first 15 days. Women are showing up enthusiastically in groups, for bachelorette parties and "Girls' Night Out." Many leave the theater fantasizing about sequels to Magic Mike. Maybe Channing Tatum running for President of the United States or better yet, Channing Tatum as the guy who moves in next store. Women can't seem to get enough of a movie that seems light on plot and long on six-pack abs.
These trends seem to speak to a newfound sense of female desire and enjoyment. We are "consuming" secondhand experiences, not creating our own. What are we doing in our personal sexual lives, here on planet earth? To take a cue from the presidential playbook, "Are you having better sex today than you were four years ago?" If not, why not? What does Anastasia know that you don't? Does your partner have to look like Channing Tatum (or Olivia Munn)? How do you transfer or transform those fictional, fantastic experiences into your own relationship and your own bedroom?
As a 21st century vagipreneur, I run Semprae, a female sexual health company offering Zestra®, often referred to as "Viagra" for women, and I'm a huge advocate for women's sexual well-being. I want to tell you you are part of the way there. You are thinking about and awakening your own desire. But don't sit on the sidelines. If for no other reason, actual studies show that a satisfying sex life helps you look better and live longer. Now is the time to take your nose out of a book and out of the movie theater. Do one small thing today to turn your own fantasy into reality. Start a conversation with your partner, tell him/her about the book, try a new product and declare, "I'll have what she's having." Then just do it.