Some things, like hairless cats or babies with overtly large heads, can be so ugly they are cute. And some things, like pretzels inside M&Ms or Paula Abdul trying to make a point on national television, are so wrong they become right.
Forever 21's newly released line of faux-vintage clothing is not one of them.
Forever 21′s foray into the drastically under-appreciated and highly lucrative hipsters who are homeless and/or blind market has hit Los Angeles stores. It's hit it HARD.
The new Forever 21 Vintage line, pictured in part here, has only been made available to a select number of cities. Presumably, those cities which have the highest concentration of people willing to pay almost $25 for a pair of sweat pants with Cosby sweater ankle attachments and faded out hoodies with the sleeves replaced by old swatches from drag shows.
Basically, New York, Florida, California and Vegas - the capitals of jaded pedestrians, crazy headlines, celebrity worship and legal prostitution.
"It looks like it was made for you, because it was! Each piece is a little different but don't worry, the look and finish is so unique, no one else will ever have the same one."
- From Forever 21′s blog announcement
Real world translation:
"It looks like shit, because it is! Each piece has a different left-over swatch of otherwise unusable material and the look and finish are so truly horrendous, you're probably the only chump who will shell out for this trash, so no one will ever have the same one."
The only place I could see anyone ever wearing this stuff would be to either the most casual or, conversely, the most formal drum circle on the planet.
Forever 21, WTF?
For more shining moments from Forever 21, visit WTForever21.com.
These are the images Forever 21 used to notify the Facebook public at large about their new "line." THESE are the images that were supposed to get people excited. Holy Hell.
This is what the whole sad little display looks like. Mercy.
This is pretty much the worst thing to happen to sweat pants, ever. And that's a lot to say about sweat pants.
A closer look at desperate design in person. In exactly what vintage store would you find this?
This is what Charlie Brown's sweater would look like in the Broadway musical adaptation.
Somewhere a drag queen is furious about some missing swatches.
They say these clothes are supposed to contain all the unique vintage qualities of thrift store clothing without the smell of moth balls but there's a far worse odor coming off this sweater. The odor of shame.
Our men and women are out there risking their lives, forced to wear last season's fatigues, and this is how you pay homage, Forever 21? This is how you do them? J'Accuse!
Follow Rachel Kane on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@wtforever21