Divorce: Is the Grass Really Greener?

As a practicing divorce lawyer for nearly 30 years, people often ask me "Why do most people get divorced?" And my answer is usually something along the lines of "sometimes one side is a true jerk or bad person, but more often, it is a variation of 'the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.'" People that come to see me for a divorce have usually tried many different things to fix their marriage, or to find fulfillment within it. Their last resort is usually a divorce. And they seek a divorce because they truly believe, that after what they have been through, things cannot be worse after a divorce, and in fact they will likely be better.

Fortunately or unfortunately, in my unscientific methodology of calculating the results, I think that about half of them are right. Yes, some people who divorce live happy, more fulfilling lives after a divorce. In fact, many would argue that most do-I do not know the percentages. But some are also left with an unfulfilling life and even more hardships, especially financial hardships, given that the same household income must now support two separate households.

But the sadness, or one of the sad things, is that it is hard, probably impossible, to know for sure if the grass is greener until you go to the other side of the fence. And it's much harder to climb back over the fence. So before you scale the fence, wall, river, mountain or whatever metaphor you choose, consider it carefully. And if you do decide to take that path, I hope for you the grass is truly greener, for you and your entire family.