Facebook has gained a certain amount of notoriety as one of the leading causes of infidelity among married couples. In fact, almost two-thirds of lawyers surveyed by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers have cited the site as online evidence of marital affairs. Whether one half of a couple reconnects with an old lover, remarries in secret, or begins a smear campaign against the other, it's the end of the world as you know it as soon as it's posted on Facebook.
And yet, for DivorceCandy, Facebook has come to symbolize the exact opposite -- a whole new world where those already divorced and those currently going through the painful process share their stories, advice, and perhaps most importantly, empathy. Many of our readers have learned to celebrate who they have become since the divorce, have reclaimed their independence, have grown stronger and found a happiness they didn't think was ever possible.
During this past month, we posted a "Fill in the Blank" to our Facebook Community: Before the divorce I was _________. Now I am ___________. We continue to be floored by the positive and inspiring responses, which demonstrate that not only is there life after divorce, there's the inevitability for a better life. (FYI, we've received written permission from the following Facebook users to post their responses.)
Angela: Miserable. Happier than I've ever been.
Karen: Before the divorce I was controlled. Now I am independent.
Alisha: Living a lie. Living life now with no regrets.
Krisinda: Miserable. Happily remarried in peace.
Carole: Before I was unhappy the last 10 yrs of 28. Now I am happy and at peace.
Lynette: Feeling worthless. Now I have a better sense of myself.
Sarah: Felt trapped. Free to make my own mistakes.
Lisa: I was miserable. Now I love my life.
Letha: Before I was divorced, I was always on "high alert", waiting for the next BS argument, trying to keep my son mentally safe from the tyrant that my husband had become. When I separated, I felt free and "safe".
Allon: Controlled and feeling worthless. After it was hard to get back in the swing of things but I am so much happier now.
Dianne: I was lonely, so awfully lonely. Now I am happy, happy, happy with a very active social life and many new wonderful supportive friends.
Robyn: I was lonely and sad. Now I am looking forward to a bright future with a big smile on my face.
Harold: Stepford Husband. Adventurer.
Amy: Before the divorce I was being who I thought I should be and doing what I thought I should do. Now I am fulfilling my wants and my needs.
Christine: Before the divorce I was living in denial. Now I am living in truth.
Faith: Before the divorce I was controlled. Now I am alive!
Melissa: Before the divorce I felt worthless, now I'm amazed by my self worth.
Patti: A doormat. Now I'm doing things I like and want to do, rebuilding my life and finding out that most days I can be happy.
Angela: Before: Lights out, completely numb. After, lights brighter, colors more colorful, smells smell better.
Tamara: Before: unloved, unneeded, disrespected, used, wounded, shrunken, limited After: fulfilled, happy, self-actualized, responsible for my own feelings, expansive, achieving, more energy for kids, sky's the limit, living large.
Lori: Dead inside. Alive and loving life!
To learn more about our Facebook community, go to http://www.facebook.com/DivorceCandy.
Randi Small and Jennifer Schwartz are the co-founders of www.divorcecandy.com.