"Mommy? Since Kelly (name changed) is going to be my stepmom, can I call her mom, too? I know you're my real mom, but can I?" Ruby asked as she took another bite of her ice cream sandwich.
Emma (my eldest daughter) and my best friend froze -- their eyes locked on me, on the moment.
There are very few things that cause me to be speechless -- this was one of them.
Under the guise of my calm exterior, my ego began to scream and my heart, oh my heart; it hurt.
In the 11 years I've been a mother, it never dawned on me I could face a question like this. I'm their mother -- the only one to hold that title, right?
Her whole life flashed before my eyes: the two miscarriages before I conceived her, the preterm labor and bed rest, the (what seemed like) endless sleepless nights, the countless hours of breastfeeding and all the firsts: the rollovers, the steps, the falls, the tantrums, the runny noses and fevers, the story times, the nightly cradles and my joyful tears drenching her little cheeks as we rocked back and forth -- my baby, my baby.
Mom. That's an exclusive title; I've earned it and it belongs to me!
I took a deep breath. Be the parent, Rebecca. Be the parent.
So, I swallowed it all -- the sting, the shock, the sadness and I saw it through her eyes:
Kelly cares for her. She loves her and treats her as one of her own. Ruby senses that. She's eight years old. There's no bureaucracy here. There are no rules. Blending families is not easy; it's a bit confusing for everyone.
And --
Mom is a title, a term of endearment, and it's a title she wants to give Kelly -- what an honor.
I broke the silence: "Baby, you can call her whatever your heart is telling you to call her. I know how much you love her."
"Ok, mama." She went back to eating her ice cream.
Ruby doesn't belong to me.
She belongs to her heart.
As her mother, my job is to remind her of that.
I have the privilege of guiding her back to herself.
She doesn't need my permission to love.
I brought her into this world to love and be loved.
She's doing her job.
I woke this morning thinking of how blessed my daughters are: to have an abundance of love in their lives -- should we all be so lucky.