Spoiler alert: Do not read on if you haven't seen Season 3, Episode 10 of Bravo's "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," titled "Home Is Where The Art Is."
All right, Bravo. I think it's time to clean house in Beverly Hills the way you cleaned apartments in New York City. I don't know why I feel so adamant about this after episode 10, but I can't deny it any longer. The cast needs some serious revamping.
Taylor needs to go, and so does Adrienne. As we all know far too well, the Maloofs and their stupid lawyers (and by stupid I mean really smart) have hijacked the third season and the show has suffered. All because Brandi supposedly said something about Adrienne using a surrogate? Come on!
I love watching insanely wealthy people do and say stupid things, but you can't have cast members who are so insanely wealthy that they also have insanely powerful lawyers who can impact the editing of the show.
Anyways, we return to the Moroccan restaurant in the 10th episode of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" and everyone is still fighting! Mauricio is still yelling at Brandi and well, Brandi is still yelling back.
Ken continues to defend Brandi as Mauricio attacks her. This causes even more bad blood to brew between the Vanderpumps and whatever Kyle and Mauricio collectively call themselves. Kyle laments for the 50th time this season that this explosive dinner was so not what she wanted to happen -- but I see right through you and your stupid earrings, Kyle; you live for and bathe in this sh*t.
Yolanda makes it clear that she really doesn't like Taylor, which makes me like Yolanda. Taylor's a drunk mess and it seems like all the housewives are just tired of her. I am too.
Later, Adrienne and Paul show up at Kyle and Mauricio's home for some fruit salad and apologize for being MIA. No need to apologize for that, Maloofs -- it's actually preferred. Please go away, pronto. Meanwhile, Yolanda arrives at a mansion her ex-husband Mohamed built and proceeds to yell at a mover who does not speak perfect English.
"You gotta learn English," Yolanda demands. "You're in America now. They speak English here." And if that wasn't bad enough, she continues, "You know when I come to America, I don't speak no English and all I know how to say is 'please' and 'thank you,' 'yes,' 'no.' But every night before I go to sleep I studied. So you do the same."
I don't really want to kick a horse when it's already clearly down, but Yolanda, you might want to revisit that bedtime ritual, too.
But I have to give her credit; Yolanda has consistently delivered this season. Her scenes are great -- deliciously entertaining and filled with moronic lines that don't feel forced or overproduced by Bravo. I enjoy her rotating collection of Hermes belts and white pants. Yolanda, Mohamed and their daughters hang out for a hot second, and while I noticed that Yolanda and her ex seem way too close for comfort, I was far too distracted by the unbelievably tight pants they all wear. Maybe it's genetic?
Meanwhile, Kim welcomes a psychic into her home. Apparently, we can't go one episode in this city without someone's sister to the "other side" dropping in for a little chat. Turns out the spirits of Kim's future grandchildren are playing on her bed while an unidentified woman watches. Kim also believes that her fireplace is a portal to the "other side" because when she sits beside it, she sees hearts everywhere. There's another place Kim might want to consider seeking treatment and it's not rehab.
And then in the worst scene ever, Faye returns to tell us that Kyle is opening a clothing store in Beverly Hills and that she will be designing it. "I don't think you find design, design finds you. You're either born with it or you're not," Faye says in her confessional. Right, so judging from Kyle's gross dining room, design has not yet found Faye and she was certainly not born with it. Nonetheless, Kyle and Faye pretend to pick out mannequins for the store.
Later, the ladies gather for an art show. Here we learn that Marisa is not physically attracted to her husband (who looks freakishly similar to Rick Santorum), and Brandi's planning a trip to Vegas because she's going to teach girls how to "find their sexy" on a stripper pole.
Kyle shows up looking like a homeless referee with a striped headband and matching dress. And then Paris Hilton shows up. Yep -- this show has gotten that desperate. Kyle assures us that Paris is still relevant because TMZ apparently stopped Kyle to ask about Paris a few days earlier. Bravo, please feel free to cut Kyle from your casting lineup as well. She is officially unbearable to watch.
Mauricio gives Ken a bottle of gin as a peace offering, to which Ken aptly responds, "I don't like it!" Lisa says hello to Mauricio by way of saying goodbye in a chilly encounter that makes her disdain for him quite clear. But she's also wearing an emerald green top with emerald green sunglasses and we're all the better for it.
Also worth noting -- an update on Yolanda's Lemons Orchard: she brought multiple bags to Mohamed.
So, what did you think of the episode? Do you think the Maloofs ruined the show and need to go or am I being too harsh? Sound off in the comments below. Until next week!
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" airs on Mondays at 9 p.m. EST on Bravo.
