An Apology From My 2-Year-Old

My heart sank.

As my friend called me over to the play area, the look on her face pretty much said it all.

I saw my 25-month-old sitting with her head hanging low next to your little boy as his cheeks were red, and tears were pouring.

The play area was quite crazy and you hadn't even yet realized what my little girl had done to your son. My heart was pounding and my natural maternal reaction was to scoop your precious baby up in my arms and immediately come look for you.

I tried to console him as my eyes scanned the sea of mothers, desperately hoping that somehow the intensity of color in his cheeks that were just squeezed and clawed at would somehow go down before we found you.

As we connected eyes, you immediately reached to embrace him and comfort him in your arms. You didn't judge me or my toddler and I will be honest, I wouldn't have batted an eye if you did.

My heart was sinking as I knew your little one was in pain, scared, and it was a safe assumption that his fun morning of playing was more than likely over.

My mind was racing knowing that my sweet, little girl who is so loving and kind, can immediately flip a switch; those hugs can turn to choke holds, the cheek rubs can turn to pinches, and the hand holding can transition to a pull or shove.

I could blame it on the stage she's going through, as we are in the thick of the terrible two's, not that it makes it any better. I could think of where I must have gone wrong as she has done this before and clearly not learned her lesson. I could run through several valid reasons of why this is normal or why this is uncalled for, and frankly, I just wished it wouldn't have happened at all.

My group of friends immediately jumped in to help and gave me the go ahead to take my daughter out for a time out while they watched my other daughter. I sat for two minutes holding my toddler, telling her how sad she made Mommy and how sad she made your little boy. I told her that after we sat on this time out, that we would immediately be leaving because she cannot hurt someone else like that.

As much as she is still oblivious that a lot of her actions have a "reaction," she most certainly is old enough to realize that what she was doing was very wrong and that she should have stopped.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. My girlfriend had text me after I had left, knowing I was mortified, reminding me that being a bad parent is easy. Being a good parent, at times, is much harder. Days like today I wish I could rewrite my own edition of what to expect during the toddler years.

But as I sit in tears, I'm so grateful you got it, Dear Mama.

There are some days more than others, that we are left feeling so helpless and question where did we go wrong. We run through the scenarios in our head of what we could have, should have done differently; and then other times make excuses and rely on some somewhat solid truths of "stages and ages"... all the while praying to God that everyone you encounter gets it.

Today you got it. You kept your cool. You didn't judge me nor point fingers at my sometimes disorderly 25-month-old.

Today, you understood that neither of us wanted to be in the position we were in, but you didn't make it harder on myself or my daughter who made a poor choice.

Today, you showed the grace and restraint that The Real Deal of Parenting is fiercely real. Thank you, Dear Mama, for being on the same team as mine this morning, despite how hard it may have been.

Thank you for making this "seasoned" Mama of four realize that my children are human, they make mistakes, and I just pray to God, out of each one we both come out of it stronger.

You can follow Long at The Real Deal of Parenting.