ML: Ms. Palin, you and other tea partiers have been quite vocal in your opposition to the presidents's Affordable Care Act. Can you please give us a run through of the health care plan that you would propose?
SP: I'm glad you asked me that, Matt. Let's be clear about one thing from the get-go. We are not opposed to the Affordable Care Act. We are opposed to Obamacare.
ML: Uh, Ms. Palin. Those are one and the same.
SP: I'm glad you asked me that, Matt. Tort reform is a serious issue, indeed.
ML: I didn't ask you anything. But if you'd like me to ask you a question, I'll ask you, since you just brought it up, to please explain how you feel about tort reform, since you have stated recently that you are both for and against it.
SP: I'm glad you asked me that, Matt. Tort reform is a tricky little bugger. One day, it does good work and the next day it's a gun with a faulty cocking mechanism.
ML: I'm not following you.
SP: I'm glad you asked me that, Matt. See, that's the problem with the country now. We should be addressing gun quality, not gun control.
ML: I was referring to your contradictory statements on tort reform, not gun control.
SP: I'm glad you asked me that, Matt. The whole thing is a contradiction, isn't it, perpetrated by liberals who have no idea what it means to be a loyal citizen in a free economy.
ML: You are losing me.
SP: I'm glad you asked me that, Matt. We are against socialism, plain and simple. Especially socialism disguised as do-gooder policies that actually help people. This, Matt, is the worst kind of socialism.
ML: Again, you are losing me. It has been shown time and again, that the Affordable Care Act is not characteristic of socialized medicine.
SP: I'm glad you asked me that, Matt. And this is exactly what I am talking about. It's like tort reform. Same thing. You have to keep after this each day to assure that the American people stay American and not socialistic. We are not against socializing. We are against socialism. The far left doesn't understand the distinction. This is where they get the whole country in trouble.
ML: You've put me into a state of total confusion. Can we leave the areas of tort reform and socialism out and simply explain what your proposal is for health care in this country?
SP: I'm glad you asked me that, Matt. We also want socialism off the table. Meat belongs on the table, not socialism. Meat is all about the free market economy. That should be the foundation of our health care system. Meat is something we all understand, and, I might add, enjoy. No one has to shove it down our throats. We want to eat meat. This is exactly how our health care system should operate. Rare, medium rare, medium, well done. That kind of thing. Choices, Matt, choices.
ML: I'm not sure what we have learned about health care in this interview, Ms. Palin.
SP: I'm glad you asked me that, Matt. And I invite you to come to Wasilla for more give and take on all these issues. We'll sit down at my home, eat meat, and talk about my new book, Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas. That's another thing that the far left wants to do, Matt, socialize Christmas. We can't let that happen, can we?
ML: OK, I'm in. Make mine medium rare.