Making friends -- well, really good friends -- in today's day and age is one of the hardest things to do. It's almost as if the people who were once born with wonderful traits have traded them in for a fancy car, and the kids of these parents are picking up on these bad habits. (I'm not by any means speaking about everyone; I am however speaking about certain people I have come in contact with.)
I have childhood friends from as far back as when I was in the playpen or the stroller, and my teenage girlfriends are still right alongside me till this day.
But what I have noticed, as well as experienced, is that some of the people you meet nowadays (not all of them) are not as big on playing nice, doing things to help each other get ahead, giving the right advice, or even sticking to a simple lunch date.
It's like every man for him or herself -- and I'm just referring to simple things like being open, honest and trustworthy.
It's actually heartbreaking to see my 20-year-old son go through his greatest years with such a small group of friends because he feels, as I do, that "you can't trust no one." (Although, he has the best small group of friends and I love them all.)
What happened to loyalty amongst friends, girls' day at the salon or a boys' night out where it wasn't about trying to score with the next man's woman?
So for all those out there trying to make good friends that will do for you what you would do for them, keep a few things in mind:
If they keep can't their word about keeping a simple lunch or dinner date on a consistent level, they probably aren't who you should call if you get a flat.
If they are always telling you someone else's business... Well, then, they probably shouldn't be the one you tell your secrets to.
However, If they do keep appointments, offer to help when you don't ask and have the same values and a similar life background, they may understand you much more quickly and will be easier to befriend if you have a glamorous city lifestyle rather than someone who, say, lived on a farm with a pastor as a dad (Not that there's anything wrong with that! How I wish I came from Idaho and had Squeally the pig as my best friend sometimes!).
I'm just simply saying when making friends think as you would as if it were a new romantic relationship:
- Go slow and steady
- Try to find things in common (work, hobbies, where you are living)
- Don't spill your guts
- Don't make promises you can't keep
- Be there for that person
- Give what you get
- Stay loyal to who you are
- And if that person doesn't do the right thing by you, well then that person doesn't deserve you as a friend!
Friendship is precious -- priceless as a matter of fact -- and although it's not always easy to find, I am still adamant that there is good in people, and that there are people that still have family values and decent morals. And never forget your oldest friends; I'm extremely grateful for the amazing friendships I have had from a young age!
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