Lusting Males Invented Poetry

We have decreed that females are / More than mere flesh and pleasure / The force of our feelings / No earthly instrument can measure. / We mixed testosterone with words / We invented poetry.
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In this year of frantic politics it is appropriate that we pause to remember the rewards we enjoy when we fight to create a better world. Let's celebrate Valentine's Day.

Excerpts From The Play: The Viagra Monologues (by Major R. Owens):

Voice 1:

At the Olympics of forever

Stand up and cheer!

Overwhelming male passion is not

A monster that females must fear.

Stand up and cheer!

Mating males gave the world

Praises in word bouquets

And new sweet songs to hear.

Stand up and cheer!

Congratulate our gender,

Exaltations we do render,

Your beauty is now preserved forever,

Our performances are continuously clever;

Inspired words with your spirits we bind,

Immortal in the great collective mind.

At the Olympics of forever

Applaud and shout it loud!

We stand alone in the animal crowd;

Long before the Nobel prize

Male poets were rewarded

By the glint in female eyes.

Shout our triumph to the skies!

Voice 2: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer's lease hath all too short a date.

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st.

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."

-- William Shakespeare

Voice 3: "The Himalayas are tiny hills

When I come climbing

To reach for your thrills;

Endless oceans become little lakes,

Icebergs melt to cubes,

Not even the immortal sun

Can match your smiles;

Measure my love in megamiles.

Great stars fade next to your eyes,

Moons become mere marbles,

Tender storms overwhelm my heart.

Rose petals rain and lightning blooms,

Tornados whisper while grass blades shout;

Mingling our souls turns the world inside out.

The Himalayas are tiny hills

When I come climbing

To reach for your thrills."

-- Odell Roberts

Voice 3: The horny wolf howls,

Male frogs croak loud,

The lion on the prowl roars,

Great bulls bellow;

In the pangs of his passion

The Homo-sapien alone can dream.

We have decreed that females are

More than mere flesh and pleasure;

The force of our feelings

No earthly instrument can measure.

We mixed testosterone with words;

We invented poetry.

Voice 1: "How beautiful are your feet in sandals,

O prince's daughter!

The curves of your thighs are like jewels,

The work of the hands of a skillful workman...

Let now your breasts be like clusters of the vine,

The fragrance of your breath like apples,

And the roof of your mouth like the best wine."

-- Song of Solomon

Voice 2: "Panties falling to a floor

Don't mean nothing anymore,

It's the adoration in your eyes

And the blessing of your sighs..."

-- Ezekiel Tarwheel

Voice 2: "It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of ANABELL LEE:

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me...

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went envying her and me--

Yes! --that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my ANNABELL LEE.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we--

Of many far wiser than we--

And neither the angels in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful ANNABELL LEE..."

-- Edgar Allan Poe

Voice 3: "You oughta be famous

Cause your butt's so big

You oughta be famous

You don't need no wig.

You oughta be famous--

Cause your tongue is so tart

The way you deliver it

Is a really fine art...

It's so sad and so tragic

Not to make a movie of your magic

If I was a god

I would set you

On a diamond pedestal in the sky

You would glow like the star

That you already are

You oughta be famous

You're my Queen every day

The sound of your voice

In my soul always sings

You oughta be famous!

My private angel with no wings

You oughta be famous!"

-- Abdul Malik Jones

All: At the Olympics of forever

Stand up and cheer!

We mixed testosterone with words--

We manufactured romance!

We invented poetry!

Stand up and cheer!

Indestructible passion is not

A monster that females must fear.

Click here for more Huffington Post Valentine's Day coverage.

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