Males Deserve To Be Better Understood

The recent bombshell exposure of Governor Eliott Spitzer has shocked even the most sophisticated and cynical among us. But sometime ago, while reading reports of the investigations of the systemic abuse of young boys by clergymen, observing those cases where the powers of sex invaded the ranks of the high commands of morality, I developed a permanent immunity to sex behavior shock.

In this case adult males are again shamed, although there are studies that indicate that rebelling internal sexual instincts are probably a problem for females, also. However, ancient male systems of oppression and the clever persistent conditioning of grandmothers have achieved or imposed a capacity for a greater degree of sexual expression control in the ranks of this amazing gender.

Across all classes, income levels and religions it is usually the males that sexually act out and in the process achieve fame or notoriety. Movie stars and athletes making out-of-wedlock babies with pretty starlets are envied. Only straying leaders are inevitably met with unmitigated scorn. It is mostly a hypocrisy shock. Since they say they are different and have everything under control mass anger erupts when public officials display the most ancient and universal weakness. The public interest would be better served if there were less shock while eyes remained focused on what matters most.

Forget the gossip and watch the money (allocations, taxes, subsidies, the national debt, etc.); and watch the deals (Blackwater, Bear Stearns, Halliburton); and above all watch the warmongering in this society which is dangerously militarized. When we neglect accountability in certain vital areas of governance as a result of preoccupations with sexual conduct, it reflects our ignorance of our own history.

George Washington cheated on his wife and the record shows that he spent at least one night in a house of prostitution. But fortunately, no threats of impeachment interfered with Washington's concentrated efforts to jump-start a new nation. And later we are fortunate that Thomas Jefferson's strong fertile mind stayed focused as he, in silence rode out the charges, not that he had behaved like most white gentlemen of his era and slept with a slave, but that he showed fidelity for one slave, Sally Hemings, who was the mother of several of his children.

It is good that no public reporting highlighting his romantic dalliances distracted Franklin Roosevelt from his vital Hitler-destruction duties. Although wild stories about the escapades of JFK continue to escalate including the contention that there is a young American male now claiming JFK as his father. (And his mother was also the mistress of a powerful mobster). But the public and the press cannot be accused of throwing JFK off course by highlighting his sins.

Like Eliott Spitzer, however, maximum distraction enveloped Bill Clinton. Without a doubt the last two years of his presidency suffered greatly as a result of the Monica Lewinsky confessions. As a New Yorker, the Spitzer case has left me with some very specific disappointments. Among them is the fact that this governor had offered some important new initiatives on education, which may not now be implemented. Sins may not be crimes but sins can cause public policy and public performance disaster.

It is obvious that sex is a wonderful habit enjoyed by most humans, but it is a habit, which can become a devastating addiction for some. The time is long past when leaders should discourage the snickering and encourage a new course of logical, comprehensive study that is as ongoing as the study of other diseases. If Spitzer had been an alcoholic or a drug addict he would probably have gotten effective rehabilitation years ago. For people with sex addictions that have not crossed the boundaries into criminality there ought to be a Betty Ford type center.

As an amateur with almost no knowledge of such medical treatment I will say no more in this vein. But as a writer aspiring to explain and display the inner workings of the human psyche, which is more complex that the wiring of any nuclear submarine, I consider it my duty to confront the powerful force of sexuality in fiction and in poetry.

With due respect to Shakespeare, James Joyce, Henry Miller, DH Lawrence, Nabokov and a few others I contend that there is a gold mine of the mixed physical, emotional, mental and spiritual metaphysical DNA still mostly unexplored.

For the time being I will conclude with a slice of poetry which is part of a larger drama I have written to explore the complexity of maleness:

Voices From The Viagra Monologues

All: Sound the trumpet!

Viagra let the truth loose!

Eradicate frail male abuse:

Voice 1: Make impotence an obsolete noose.

Anxieties we confront in a losing fight:

Danger lurks when males swell uptight,

High in our haughty heads

The funky egomania mess

Is the virus pushing

Epidemics of endless stress.

Voice 2: Massage this truth but treat it tender;

Macho males are an endangered gender.

Our troubles have never been

Studied as they should,

Our dilemmas demand equal time -

Males deserve to be better understood.

All: Sound the trumpet!

Voice 3: Viagra let loose the force!

Impotence is an obsolete noose!

The female mysterious gender

Hoards all the healing juice.

Honor to our animal instincts

It is proper that you pay;

Trap our Mandrille madness in your loins,

Then lure the demons forever away.

Sound the trumpet!

Salvation sleeps in the one-hour wait;

Redemption troops must not arrive too late.

We fight the anxiety virus,

We bend under perpetual stress,

One day we captives will surrender and confess;

Pity the delicate frail male,

Hear our invisible soundless wail,

Be still and listen again to our tale.

All: Sound the trumpet

Liberate the primitive male

From slimy superstitions jammed

Into our macho mental jail

Holocaust happens when

Uptight mad males fail.

Viagra let the truth loose!

Comments

[RAStewart]

Two more points, since there seems to be a length limit on posts now:

It's difficult to raise these issues without seeming to deny the continued reality of discrimination against girls and women. But the fact is, life is complex and multi-dimensioned. It may be true, is true I think, that a man can still get to the top of a Fortune 500 company on less ability and work than a woman. It doesn't follow that life in these times is hunky-dory for the average man.

We need a revival of at least some aspects of the "men's movement" of the eighties and very early nineties. Men like Sam Keen and Robert Bly lit the torch--somehow it didn't get passed along. I like what jeskiley says about healing, becoming our best selves, and building community. The media will not take this up, though; it will be up to men on a grassroots level.

[majorowens]

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate the depth of your perseption. I would like to continue this conversation. You can reach me at [e-mail]

[RAStewart]

Tip o' the hat from a fellow librarian, Rep. Owens. Your Viagra Monologues gave me a chuckle, and I look forward to the Chicago premiere.

Agreed that males need to be understood as more than oppressors or figures of fun. I'll have to ponder the connection with sex scandals for a bit. Where I get notice it is in the evidence that young males are jumping off the achievement train in large numbers, or never getting on. Girls and young women are overtaking their male contemporaries in school performance, college admissions, college graduation, and entry into the professions--I believe law schools are over half female on average these days, and suspect medical schools are not far behind. I give the trend two cheers, or one and a half. As a husband, father of daughters, and colleague and friend of women, I'm happy to see girls succeeding. As a man, father of sons, and colleague and friend of men, I think, "But does it have to be just one-half the human race doing well at any one time? What's crippling our boys and young men? Don't we want everyone to have equal opportunity, and as many as possible to embrace that opportunity?"

[jeskiley]

It's a good perspective to bring out into the open, it's time males found their voices. Like you said, "women hoard the healing juice", and I'd add, they hoard the daytime talk show circuit as well. I heard a man suggest to Oprah recently, that men could really use some validation, community-wide recognition of who they are, and not just interpreted through/directed by the female lens. I look forward to the airwaves taking on this task, it would definitely heal millions, empower men to be their best selves, and help build community.

[majorowens]

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate your depth of perseption and would like to continue this conversation. You can reach me at [e-mail]