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Rev. Dr. Cindi Love

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Teach Your Children Well

Posted: 03/ 9/2012 11:06 am

Early on Sunday, March 4, before the sun came up, I was outside a hotel in Philadelphia to say bon voyage to a bus full of young adult volunteers on the 2012 Soulforce Equality Ride. It was dark and cold outside, but the hope-filled energy and love of these young people lit up the block.

Their first stop is Atlanta where they will spend five days. One of those days will be devoted to Carver College whose administrators have rejected the Riders' invitation to dialogue about their policies and practices involving young people who identify as sexual or gender minorities. The Riders will gather outside the gated cloister of Carver and ask to attend chapel services with the Carver community, seek an audience with their President and give students entering the campus a chance to see the Bus and the Riders. The Bus is wrapped in a beautiful design by Jess Kalup, a 2010 Rider. You can't see it and miss the message of hope that the Riders bring to students who are threatened and bullied every day for being gay.

The majority of the Ride visits will be to Council for Christian Colleges and University (CCCU) or Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU) where there are still documented policies and practices that openly stigmatize individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT).

Most of these schools use language about "sexual purity" as a requirement for all students to avoid "targeting" gay students. At the same time, heterosexual students may freely hold hands and kiss one another while gay students may not. No one is confused about who can and cannot express love outside the closet without disciplinary action.

And the story of Tyler Clemente tells us what happens when the closet is kicked open on gay students by someone who doesn't care about them. He needed someone to care and intervene. Sadly, so did his oppressor.

Bullying takes place everywhere: in churches, in church-related colleges and universities, in public schools and in the public square. It tears at the soul of the person bullied and the person doing the bullying as well.

As the Riders loaded up their luggage and backpacks, I walked the bus exterior to read and touch each of their names boldly printed on the outside panels for all of the world to see. I thought about the 80+ colleges and universities that have already been visited by Riders in years past and the good outcomes in those places. Many of them are safer now for young women, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students and faculty. And I thought about the places that are still not safe at all.

Sometimes we think that "safe" means "free from physical harm" but we know better. Children and young people are deeply affected by the words and attitudes and perceived acceptance or rejection of their parents and teachers and pastors and peers. They watch what we say and do and they learn their prejudices from us.

Young people pick up on their parents and teachers' silences and their reluctance to talk about certain topics. They pick up on the judgmental attitudes in a chance remark. They learn, from crude jokes and rude remarks, just who they're expected to respect and who they're not. Perceived "authorities" on television and radio and the Internet and our elected officials get by with name-calling and still seem to win. School principals sometimes ignore cries for help or say these complaints are "unfounded."

A New York Times citation on a recent report by the New York Governor's Task Force on Bias-Related Violence says that "while teenagers surveyed were reluctant to advocate open bias against racial and ethnic groups, they were emphatic about disliking homosexual men and women, (who were) perceived as legitimate targets that can be openly attacked."

In the end, most of us can only tangibly support the children and young adults with whom we have a direct connection -- a relationship. This is a good time for citizens of Atlanta and surrounding communities and, indeed, all of us, to think about the young people within your sphere of influence. Young people need our help in choosing the strength of diversity as a value rather than weakness.

As the Equality Ride bus pulled away on Sunday, the song by Crosby, Stills and Nash, "Teach Your Children Well" went through my head. The fact that I know the words dates me, but the song is absolutely timeless in its wisdom and exhortation to the Riders and to the rest of us.

You who are on the road
must have a code that you can live by
and so become yourself
because the past is just a goodbye.
Teach your children well,
their father's hell
did slowly go by.
And you of tender years,
can't know the fears
that your elders grew by.
And so please
help them with your youth,
they seek the truth
before they can die.

I want the words of this song to be true for the Riders and all of the communities they hope to influence.

While church-related schools have the right to make policies in keeping with their creeds, they do not have the right to create environments of inquisition and shame for young citizens of our country.

While we are all entitled to our opinions and the right to express them, we are not entitled to diminish other human beings in ways that incite harm. These are the messages that the Soulforce Equality Riders will bring along their route. I hope you welcome them. I hope you are blessed by them. I have been.

 
 
 

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03:57 PM on 03/17/2012
I am constantly trying to diminish myself
but that
is to
not have rolls in my clothing.

Diminish
is
demean
in this article?
researcher
researcher
01:22 AM on 03/16/2012
guilt and culpability and judgmentalism sell like cotton candy at a state fail.

what would religion be without these big three?

enjoy the ride you will be presenting to deaf ears.

unsoliticed advice is a form of tresspassing. sorry.
10:15 PM on 03/11/2012
While church-related schools have the right to make policies in keeping with their creeds, they do not have the right to create environments of inquisition and shame for young citizens of our country.

Actually, privately-funded schools have the right to create whatever type of environment they want, as long as it's within the bounds of the law. And you have the right not to be educated there, and the right to send your children somewhere else. They don't have to change any of their policies just because you don't agree with them.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jkevinm80
11:48 AM on 03/13/2012
True. As long as not one dime of US Taxpayer money is spent on their campus, they promote any bigotry or prejudice they want. That would include any special tax breaks or ecnomic development credits or exemptions, although they could retain their tax exempt status for donations.
09:13 PM on 03/10/2012
You do not have the right to silence people because they make you feel bad, guilty or sad.
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DessieRandom
ಠ_ಠ
04:56 PM on 03/11/2012
"While church-related schools have the right to make policies in keeping with their creeds, they do not have the right to create environments of inquisition and shame for young citizens of our country.

While we are all entitled to our opinions and the right to express them, we are not entitled to diminish other human beings in ways that incite harm."

Read the article. No one is silencing anyone. One group speaking out does not silence another, instead you get communication between the two.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mindy Czech
Cindy's wife for life.
06:58 PM on 03/11/2012
We're not trying to silence anyone. People can say whatever the heck they want. If it's homophobic and disgusting, well there's an advantage because now we know who not to patronize. They have their right to be bigots, and we have the right to tear their hate speech apart.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Rev. Dr. Cindi Love
Executive Director of Soulforce
06:58 PM on 03/09/2012
The Soulforce Equality Ride is on it's fifth annual tour to engage fundamentalist Christian college administrators in face-to-face demand to drop college policies and practices that are anti-gay. First stop at Carver College in Atlanta on the first day was met with police and locked gates. By the end of the stop, President Crummie met with the Ride Co-Director J. Mason and Atlanta Coordinator Ovid. He rejected all requests for policy changes but dud agree to receive a comprehensive list of colleges that are LGBT welcoming. He made it clear that openly gay students will be invited to make their way to those schools.
05:47 PM on 03/09/2012
This article and the work you're doing with Soulforce touch me more than anything else you've done, probably because I was bullied in grade school, in college, and even as an alumnus returning to visit my college campus one year at homecoming. It has taken me two decades to talk openly about any of that; for some reason, it was much harder to come out about being bullied than it was to come out as gay. I thought of you and your work with Soulforce last week when the news broke about the Tennessee school principal who told her students they were going to Hell if they were gay. Thank you for your tireless energy around the visionary work of equality for all.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Rev. Dr. Cindi Love
Executive Director of Soulforce
06:42 PM on 03/09/2012
Dear Van,

I love your ability and willingness to express your vulnerability. Thank you for being so faithful in supporting my ministry wherever it leads. I miss you and wish for an opportunity to see you. Maybe you could come out to Abilene while the Riders are here April 13-14? Love you!!
03:06 PM on 03/09/2012
FRAUD ALERT -- women cannot be Pastors...at least not in bible-believing churches....
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Rev. Dr. Cindi Love
Executive Director of Soulforce
06:47 PM on 03/09/2012
LOVE ALERT--Christ came to break down the barriers of stigma and sexism, racism and shame. And, Christ, not the Church, calls who He will to do His work and to fulfill the greatest commandments---to love God with all of ones heart, to love thy neighbor as self.

My prayer for you is that you will encounter that Love deeply and through that encounter, erase all fear.
10:24 PM on 03/09/2012
Loving Christ means keeping His commandments, even when they don't appeal to our (sinful) natures. Jesus said that homosexuality was wrong, and those who He anointed taught in His name that women should not be pastors. Although the things you say He came to do sound appealing - and may have some truth to them - I do not know what basis you find in Jesus's teachings for asserting that those were His objectives. The primary purpose of the incarnation was to save humans' souls. Trying to change Jesus to fit what you want Him to be is very wrong. And as a pastor, you have a particular duty not to lead others astray and tell them things that are not true about God.
03:07 AM on 03/10/2012
Please tell me where Christ "deauthorized" the book of Timothy.....
02:45 AM on 03/12/2012
Ah yes, one of the first reasons I decided I didn't much like Christianity. It's no fun being told how you're less of a person because you happen to be a woman, and that your job as such is to sit down, shut up, and do what the men tell you.

Still not sure why so many women buy into that. It makes me sad. There are actually (a LOT of) women who pride themselves on how submissive and obedient they are. Some don't really seem to have much of a personality because of it, but hey, that's the point anyway, right?
04:21 AM on 03/12/2012
OK..good luck
08:31 PM on 03/16/2012
"Ah yes, one of the first reasons I decided I didn't much like Christianity. It's no fun..."

Here is the real reason you "don't much like Christianity", because it impedes upon your fun. Being a Christian means submitting to the Lordship os Jesus Christ and you want to be the Lord of your own life...and as Christ clearly said, you cannot serve two masters.

There is nothing in NT teachings that says "your job is to sit down, shut up and do what men tell you." You convienently ignore such passages as 1Cor 13 and Proverbs 31 that define the incredible worth of a woman within the home and to God. I have been in a Christian marriage for 28 years and our home has been richly blessed. No one has lost their personality. You are generalizing a whole system of faith on your own prejudices and biases.

If you don't like the Christian faith, good for you...no one says you have to. But it has nothing to do with women being "less of a person", because that is not the case at all. No one was more loving and accepting of women in first century culture than Jesus Christ.