Rev. Laurie Sue with Kristina and Rebecca
While many same-sex couples have gotten used to the idea of the quickie civil ceremony just to legalize their marriage, there is a whole world of ceremony options to consider.
In this new age of weddings, anything goes!
Finding your personal style is a matter of deciding the type of ceremony most suited to you both, and getting a sense of which rituals, blessings, prayers, readings, and cultural or religious aspects are personally meaningful.
From my view as an interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant, it's all about blending. First, assess the general type of ceremony that is right for each couple. Then seek ways to blend in the traditions they do like, with creativity, romance and personal touches. For example:
* For Ron and Gerry's wedding we created ceremony that told the story of their 23 year union, and also brought in prayers from both their Christian and Native American traditions.
* In Lisa and Pri's ceremony, we brought in Pri's Hindu heritage as well as honoring Lisa's family, and giving her the chance to make the traditional walk down the aisle escorted by her dad, both clad in tuxedos.
* When I married my great-niece Rebecca to her beloved Kristina, they opted for a simple yet personal ceremony with but one tradition--the Jewish custom of breaking the glass. Kristina did this in five inche heels!
Kristina breaks the glass. Mazel tov!
The personal touches in your ceremony can be anything from aspects of each partner's religion or cultures, to honoring and involving family, to including a humorous story about how you met or a poignant poem that captures your feelings. Perhaps you will write unique vows or one of you--or someone you know--will sing a love song. Or all of the above!
Identify the Overall Vibe for Your Wedding
As a reference point, and just to give you a sense of diverse options, here are some of the types of ceremonies couples frequently ask about:
• Traditional. These are typically faith-based and culled from the traditions each partner was born into. For example, if both partners are Jewish, they may choose a traditional Jewish ceremony presided over by a rabbi or cantor. If Christian, it may be a ceremony in a Church. Obviously this options is sometimes difficult for same-sex couples when restricted by religious protocols. But any couple can choose to embrace or include traditional ceremonial aspects and blessings in a non-traditional setting.
• Non-denominational. A spiritual ceremony that may include a reference to God, but does not adhere to any particular religious protocol. These ceremonies may also be call "secular" or "humanist."
• Non-religious. Usually includes no reference to faith and typically does not mention God. Some people call it a civil ceremony, but in fact a civil ceremony often mentions God.
• Interfaith. This is a blending of two or more faiths, by including aspect of religion, religious rituals, or readings that are symbolic of each faith. Because some couples bring more than one faith heritage to the mix, this term is sometimes interchanged with "multifaith." Can be presided over by a clergy person from both faiths or an interfaith clergy person.
• Intercultural. This represents a blending of cultures, and often (but not always) overlaps with interfaith. It could be a Scottish groom with a Sri Lankan groom or might mean blending a Filipino veil ceremony with a Chinese red string ritual, for example. It might also be called "multicultural" or "interethnic."
• Pop culture theme. This is usually a ceremony adapted from something that is part of popular culture and close to the hearts of the couple. These may range from a medieval-style ceremony in which the couple dresses in traditional garb, to a ceremony including lines from Star Wars or Disney, to nuptials that weave in elements from a favorite love story, novel, movie, or even opera. It might just mean a small gesture or a familiar phase, such as closing the ceremony with, "May the Force be with you!"
As you can see, there are many options for you to have the special ceremony of your dreams!
Wedding Photos Credit: Unlimited Entertainment
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