Recently, I had a conversation with an elderly person who is tired of living. She has outlived her family and her friends. While she has some chronic health issues, she is basically doing well. Her hearing is going and her eyesight requires that she wears glasses. Her heart is strong though her will to live is not. Her mind is sharp but she lacks stimulation.
Lillian lives in a facility that gives her the "basics" of what she needs, but they don't provide her with any stimulation. She does not make friends easily because she is an outspoken person and says what is on her mind. She has deep faith in God, but even that is beginning to wane because she doesn't go to church anymore. The pastor, with whom she was close, has taken a position in a church in another state. Lillian can't get to church every Sunday because the transportation available to her is unpredictable. It would pick her up hours before the service and not return until several hours after the service had ended. Even if she stayed at church for lunch, she might still have to wait an extended time for the car service to pick her up. She doesn't want to "trouble" anyone by asking them to drive her to or from the facility in which she lives because it is quite a distance from the church.
Lillian is not alone in her situation. Because we are living longer with chronic health problems that can be "managed," our health care system and many long-term care facilities, are not able to keep up with the needs of our growing elder population who are living longer and remaining vital well into their nineties and even hundreds. Similarly, our churches seem to be struggling with this same issue. How do we maintain relationships with our elders when they can no longer attend church "regularly" and need to rely on others for transportation to and from church? One very large church in Manhattan is trying to address this issue. But it is not an easy issue to address because there are so many complications involved in trying to ensure that long-time members are continually connected to the church.
Another factor that has to be considered is how far apart families live. Those whose children live far from them, tend to rely more on their faith community to give them the support they need. Whether it is helping them deal with a death or helping them to find someone to accompany them to a doctor's appointment, our elders have come to rely on their long-term relationship with their house of worship to help them when they live alone and a long way from their children and/or grandchildren.
Jennifer Senior, in her article "Alone Together," writes that there is evidence that strong social networks help slow the progression of Alzheimer's. She also cites evidence suggesting that weak social networks pose as great a risk to heart-attack patients as obesity and hypertension. "There's also evidence to suggest that the religious people who live the longest are the ones who attend services most frequently rather than feel their beliefs most deeply. (It's not faith that keeps them alive, in other words, but people.)"[1] I would argue that point; religious observance has been shown to improve people's health outcomes and rebounding from surgery and other health-related issues. However, the social component has not been looked at independently (as far as I know), so there is a possibility that the social networking does improve the chances of someone living longer who physically goes to church.
Perhaps the most disturbing information comes from a 2004 article in the Archives of Internal Medicine, which found that many common and chronic illnesses are associated with an increased risk of suicide in elderly people. According to this study, approximately every 83 minutes, one adult 65 years or older, commits suicide in the U.S. Statistics show that elderly people kill themselves at a higher rate than any other segment of the populations in many countries. Depression, bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) and severe pain were associated with the largest increases in suicide risk. "However, several other chronic illnesses including seizure disorder, congestive heart failure, and chronic lung disease, were also associated with an increased risk for suicide."[2]
How churches care for their elders like Lillian shows how much they value their elders. It also shows where their values are. I can't imagine that Jesus would forget our elders, and neither should we. So, how do we, as a faith community, honor our elders? How do we make sure that they still feel valued and that we find ways to let them know that we appreciate the work that they did for the church in their younger years?
Churches need to make involving our elders in the life of the church a priority. Younger members of our churches need to step up and ensure that these important connections for the elder person, as well as the church, are not just maintained, but are nurtured. Elders have a great deal of wisdom to offer -- we need to honor that wisdom and seek to build relationships and programs that help our elders to know that they have not been forgotten by God or by us.
Footnotes:
[1] ] Jennifer Senior, "Alone Together" New York, November 23, 2008. http://nymag.com/news/features/52450/
[2] Marian Anne Eure, "Suicide and Illness Link: Identify those seniors at higher risk of suicide." About.com Senior Health (referring to Eve K. Moscicki; Eric D. Caine, Opportunities of Life: Preventing Suicide in Elderly Patients, Arch Intern Med. 2004;164(11):1171-1172.)
Hebrews 11:2 This is what the ancients were commended for.
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She then recieved a letter from her Parish asking why they hadn't seen her weekly donation. And how they depend on Parishioners to contribute each week to do "God's" work. This coming from one of the most prestigious parishes in the State.
Never once did anyone in this Parish ask to see if she was ok, or could they help her out in anyway. Nothing.
My mother was very angry and upset that the Church was more interested in her 'donations' than her well being.
As her health began to decline further, she became very bitter towards the Church itself. Until her dying day, she never forgot that. Boy, she was pi$$ed.
But yes, it is the responsibility of Christians to talked care of family members. For in general "we are our brother's keeper! And how we treat the least fortunate in the world, our Christ stated in scripture -- we do to him!
A man's doctor told him he did not have too long to live so he resolved to take it like a man . Playing golf was his favorite past time so he contacted several clergy and asked them all if "they played golf in Heaven . They all responded "they did not know" but he continued to ask around . He eventually met a Catholic priest and asked him if he knew if they played golf in Heaven . The priest said he didn't know but he would ask the Pope and get back to him . A few days latter the priest called the man and said he had news from the Pope that was good and bad . The man said "give me the good news first" . The priest said "well the Pope spoke with God and God said yes they do play golf in Heaven" . The man was very elated , and asked "what was the bad news" . The priest the said "the bad news is you tee off at 4:00 oclock this afternoon" .
My question is why does it have to be a "church" per se? Why not just round up and train some idealistic volunteers to come in and do things, or take the client out for the day on a regular basis?
With all the people currently looking for work, and with our aging population this sounds like a real opportunity for practicing some compassion in action.
As a hospice volunteer and in-home care companion, I have found the relationships you build to be oft-times potentially amazing.
Regretfully our friends has the same as other older people.
What can I say?
I can only speak for the people who have a chance now to get close to God. He will take care of you.
If you knew what God has protected me from you would fall down and almost die. So I will speak of my testimony. Get close to God right now.....instead of depending on another HUMAN.
I MEAN IT.
God gives the families of older ones the primary responsibility to provide for them. 1 Timothy 5:4, 8 states: "But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let these learn first to practice godly devotion in their own household and to keep paying a due compensation to their parents and grandparents, for this is acceptable in God’s sight. Certainly if anyone does not provide for those who are his own, and especially for those who are members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith."
There's a scripture that comes to mind....Revelation 3:15, 16 that states: "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were cold or else hot. So, because you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I am going to vomit you out of my mouth." Do you understand God's message here? Are we in or out, believe and practice the bible teachings or choose not to at all. God gave us a choice...choose one or the other but don't be lukewarm not sure what side of the fence you want to be at. A lukewarm life brings no rewards or enlightenment to our lives. Are you making the right choice?
Many elder have difficult burdens to bear. They tire easily, may feel that doing basic things like going to doctor, preparing food is beyond their capacity. This includes obtaining spiritual nourishment. Aging eyes and ears may make reading and listening to spiritual programs difficult, and just getting ready to go to Christian meetings may be exhausting.
In many congregations of the Jehovah's Witnesses, the elderly are being cared for in an exemplary manner. Loving brothers and sisters help them with shopping, cooking, and cleaning. Younger Witnesses accompany them and provide transportation. If older ones are unable to leave home, they are tied in to meetings by telephone or recordings are made for them. Whenever possible, elders make sure that practical arrangements are implemented in order to meet the needs of older ones in the congregation.
That being said, it becomes very difficult to understand how is it possible that any congregation, of any denomination, ignores their elders or people in need. Believers should get organized in their groups to be able to help and support the elderly among them. Car pooling comes to mind. One idea could be to implement something akind to Big Brothers, Big Sisters where people are paired and one gives assistance to the other. Plus, becoming the friend of an elderly person is always rewarding and enriching!
I can tell you from my own experience, that when I have traveled to other countries on vacation I sometimes look up the local congregation near my hotel. When I visit the congregation I am greeted with so much love and treated as though we've known each other for years. They even take me sightseeing and invite me to their homes, but most importantly I make new life-long friends.
That's where I want to be...a part of a big family that loves and cares for each other, united under 'one faith' something that is absent in the world. There is only one group that stands apart from all others - Jehovah’s Witnesses, now numbering nearly 8 million around the world. By advocating and adhering to God’s Word, the Bible, they have done what no other group or organization has been able to do, namely, unite people of diverse nationalities, languages, ethnic backgrounds, and races in worship of the one true God, Jehovah.
Queen, although I respect your beliefs I hope you join us again:)
“God is not unrighteous so as to forget your work & the love you showed for his name,†says the Bible. (Hebrews 6:10) Therefore, resist adopting a negative viewpoint, wrongly thinking that because of advanced age, you are no longer useful to God. Endeavor to replace depressing, pessimistic thoughts with positive ones. Rejoice over your blessings. Reflect on your hope, work to stay young in heart & mind, and never underestimate the value of your presence in the congregation!
Advancing age may change a Christian’s activities somewhat, but time does not diminish God’s love for his loyal older servants. On the contrary, all of these faithful Christians are precious in his eyes, and he will never leave them. (Isaiah 46:4) Jehovah God will sustain and guide them throughout old age. (Psalms 48:14).