"Pastor, I need to know if I'm welcome in this church!" It was with these words, blurted out as she ambled across the threshold of my office doorway, that I was first introduced to Sami (not her real name), a person who was in the process of transitioning from male to female. The words barely out of her mouth, Sami plopped down on the edge of the couch adjacent to my desk and launched into her story.
The western New York church I was serving at the time is an American Baptist church that I would describe as conservative to moderate, and one that had never encountered a trans person seeking welcome, affirmation and, eventually, membership.
As Sami told me her story, she revealed herself to be a 62 year old who had lived her life knowing that she was a woman in the body of a man. Experts state that as many as 1 in 1,500 children are born with ambiguous genitalia. This was Sami's story. At birth her doctor decided to "correct" her by assigning her male genitalia. As Sami matured physically and sexually, she knew that this had been a mistake. Inside, she knew she was a woman.
"I'm in the process of becoming the woman I know I am," she said, "and first of all I want to know if you're OK with that because I've been to a lot of churches where the pastor told me that I'm not welcome or wanted."
"Not only am I OK with who you are and who you are becoming, but I fully affirm you as a child of God -- fully loved and fully valued."
"Well thank you." Sami said. Looking down at the floor as she bounced her large frame a bit further toward the back of the couch. "Now what about the church? Are these people going to want me?"
"Well that's a good question," I said. "It will be a process both theologically and educationally. But if you're willing to be patient and trust God and me, I think we can help these folks to grow a bit."
"Since you mentioned God," Sami began cautiously, "what does God think of me? As I mentioned before, churches don't tend to welcome me and one pastor told me that God will never forgive me because I'm changing what God never intended to be changed. 'God made you a man, and you must stay a man' he told me."
Now I was on the spot. It was one thing to affirm Sami myself, or even to hope for the best when it came to the congregation's reaction to her, but what did my heart tell me about God's answer, and what did the Bible say about transgendered people? Hurriedly, I said a prayer, "God help me out here. I need some wisdom because so much is riding on this conversation."
As I sat back in my chair, clasping my hands behind my head, my eyes scanned my vast bookshelf. Anything?...Anything!...Then my recently purchased commentary on the books of First and Second Samuel by Walter Brueggemann caught my eye.
I grabbed my Bible and quickly flipped to 1 Samuel 16 which begins with the story of God instructing the prophet to go to Jesse's house to find the man who would replace Saul as king. Quickly I scanned the familiar story to find verses 6 and 7.
When they came, he looked on Eliab and thought, "Surely the Lord's anointed is now before the Lord." But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." (New Revised Standard Version)
I read these words aloud to Sami and waited a moment for them to wash over both of us. Presently, I said, "I understand that it is crucial that you become who you are and who you know you were meant to be. I believe this is vitally important to God as well because God intimately knows you and loves you. If there is any truth to this scripture, it is ultimately your heart that matters most to God. That's what I would say to the pastor who was so hurtful to you. Concerning your gender identity, it is my belief that God affirms your decision. The truth of who you are and must become is a truth that God has called you to live into. This you know in your heart. I affirm this truth as a Baptist, a pastor, a Christian and a fellow human being. So to answer your initial question, yes you are welcome in this church!"
After attending for several months, Sami joined the church and went on to serve on the Board of Worship, and sing in the choir.
Follow Rev. Rich Rose on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rev_rose
Amy-Jill Levine and Douglas Knight: The Bible and Sexuality
Transgender - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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'I'm a Girl' -- Understanding Transgender Children - ABC News
We don't have to seek out places that judge and dehumanize us.
"...one pastor told me that God will never forgive me because I'm changing what God never intended to be changed."
That pastor ought to talk to the doctor (if he/she is still around) who made the mistake.
Most cases of human hermaphrodites have no known causes and so are not the result of “DNA malfunctions” or problems with “sex chromosomes.” Non-trivial biochemical and endocrinological testing must be undertaken before sexual assignment (with consent) should be undertaken. A detailed history including age of presentation, sex of rearing, consanguinity, family history of similar illness should be noted. A thorough clinical examination including presence of hyperpigmentation, hypertension, associated anomalies or dysmorphic features need to be recorded. Laboratory investigations should also include biochemical parameters, renal profile when indicated, blood sugar and hormonal studies inclusive of gonadotropins and sex steroids (testosterone done by chemiluminiscence). So a little humility and compassion before sanctimonious posturing please.
To those who claim that Sami is in any way sinning or otherwise closing her heart to God's Love, His Will or his Word:
Cough up your proof or shut up. So far I've heard nothing but baseless bigotry and that, my friends is a sin and contrary to the teachings of Jesus and the Word of God. So many Christians have been led astray from actual teachings of Jesus by the temptation of pride or to strengthen the social and political position of some religious leader. That is exactly what the New Testament is supposed to teach you to ward off. If you choose not to read it and follow it, and would rather follow pop-culture Chritianists, you've already shut Jesus out of your heart and have no standing on which to yell out, "Sinner!".
"...scripture in the original languages never condemned homosexuality, and same-sex marriage, often thought to be a "new" concept, existed and was accepted back then"
http://hoperemains.webs.com/
I go to a little Baptist church in the inner suburbs of a large city. There are several LGBT folk, including trans, who like to hang out with us and we have been enriched by their friendship and their help at the food bank and community meals. They are welcome to full participation in all aspects of church life.
I once had a neighbor child who was born with ambiguous genitalia. The decision was to raise her as a girl. No kid ever had more pink clothes or pink walls, curtains, bedspread, etc., in her room! Yet she was far from anyone's idea of a feminine little thing. I occasionally wonder what decisions she made for herself growing up.
I want to say how much I admire this pastor. I am a member of an American Baptist Church, University Baptist, here in Austin Texas. All intersex and transgender people are welcome here too. We accept you as you are; beautiful people of God.
In the Bible, demonization ocurred as a consequence of people suffering from what we would today consider neuropsychaitric disorders such as paranoid schizophrenia, multiple personalities, bi-polar manic attacks and hallucinations. How did Jesus resppond when he came into contact with those suffering from such disorders: with great dignity and compassion. Jesus publicly embraced them and made them feel whole and socially recognized. Read the passages in the Gospel of Matthew 17:14; the Gospel of Mark 9:17; and the Gospel of Luke 9:38 for some of the most inspiring examples of how to confront those afflicted with complex medical disorders. Pastor Rich Rose followed the example of Jesus. But not many of his peers do likewise.
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself."
This late in this system of things, where the end is nearing the only thing that is important is to make it into God's new Kingdom on earth! Where under God’s hands-on reign all things will be made right and divine! Acceptance of the shed blood of our Lord “with or without the church” is their for all of us and guaranties that entry!
And it's sad that this acceptance is an exception as opposed to the rule.
My own father has flatly rejected me, all in the name of his God. The last words he spoke to me were "I think you need to get your life right with God." As someone who had to flee from a fundamentalist cult (leadership believed they had full authority over every aspect of members' lives, from work to education to marriage) I started questioning all I believe and ultimately agreed that I am an atheist. My father's words were therefore obviously not comforting; they shattered any possibility that I would ever again get in touch with him. Today, I find churches to be extremely discomforting places.
And because so many people in this nation are religious on some level, even being social becomes a trial. How often does someone have to endure the religious convictions of a stranger criticizing your life before you want to become a recluse? Today I struggle to find outlets for social interaction because my first response is to avoid social contact, while I know I need social interaction. Being a very sociable person who has become accustomed to the hurtful comments of others, I find myself constantly torn between reaching out and running away.
So when I find compassion from others, it is received with amazement. Thank you.