Yesterday, I was talking to my friend and mentioned that I was watching House Hunters International. Okay, in all honesty, I brought HHI up 3-4 times over an hour. She asked, "oh was there a marathon?" I replied, "No, it's on Netflix." I didn't expect her to strongly react to this but she did mostly because she is a jerk and preys on the weak. She was very upfront about judging me for seeking out a show that most people just stumble upon because the remote was too far. That damn remote is always too far. We have phones the size of watches but can't figure out how to keep a remote in arms distance. What a world. Anyway, a friend should not judge you for your guilty pleasure TV shows.
Let's back up for a second. A few weeks ago I told someone I was catching up on The Bachelor and they responded, "you sought it out? That's kind of sad, no?" I really need less judgmental friends and maybe I need to make better life decisions.
So guys, dolls and trolls of the Internet, take a breather on that grammatically incorrect and slightly racist YouTube comment you're leaving and listen to me. Don't unplug your cable if you aren't ready to deal with the repercussions. I am talking about being able to blame your embarrassing television choices on reruns and lost remotes. Gone are the days where you sit in front of a Law & Order: SVU marathon without someone asking you if you are okay or if you're still watching. Of course I am not okay and of course I am still watching! Let me live!
Remember stumbling upon reruns of Boy Meets World and being excited beyond belief? Kiss that goodbye because now you will have to actively seek it out, which is a questionable weekend activity and truthfully, less rewarding. And then having to make the decision of watching the younger years, high school years, or even dare I say the college years is a tough one and at least reruns chose for you. Also if you are seeking out reruns of Boy Meets World in the college years, you have bigger issues to deal with. Trust me, I know. Have some damn self-respect.
So, say au revoir to accidentally watching Lifetime movies, that episode of Seinfeld for the 65th time, and all your self-respecting friends if you're actually saying au revoir and you're not French.
The death of reruns is also the birth of shame. Don't you ever forget that.