Today we learn that the figure we know as Donald Trump has published a birth certificate, which we also learn is not official. As I have long suspected, the Trumpster has finally been exposed. Not only was he not born in the United States, thus rendering his presidential ambitions moot, but he was not born on this planet.
Have you ever wondered why Trump has always refused to show us his forehead, hiding it behind an absurd mop effect of hair? Why, you ask? Could it be that he is hiding his true identity as a Klingon, notable for their wrinkled foreheads and strange speech? Could his frequent expression "You're Fired!" be misunderstood by us and really be a Klingon order to begin the invasion?
Klingons, we know from Star Trek VI, have lurched perilously close to economic deprivation and environmental ruin. They are desperate to reverse their fortunes and have therefore sent The Donald to Earth to seize control of the White House, with the clear purpose, as Glenn Beck has told us, to turn the world over to Al Queda so that the Klingons can appear to save the planet, only to enslave human beings.
We know The Donald (as he is known by his people) has also lurched perilously close to economic ruin on many occasions, which tells us for certain that his Klingon roots are showing. His campaign to question President Obama's birthplace is only a diversion. His true intent is to destroy our way of life and set up a Klingon empire in Atlantic City, which already has aliens in residence there.
Follow Richard Geldard on Twitter: www.twitter.com/richgeldard
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thedailybeast
Republican campaign strategist Ed Rollins tells us the best way for @MittRomney to handle @realdonaldtrump. WATCH: http://t.co/VANneQN8
1 hour ago from SocialFlow
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michaelpfalcone
Speaking of Donald Trump, he's book-ending a whirlwind week by keynoting tonight's @NCGOP convention kickoff
3 hours ago from web
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| umairh I'm going to @LibertyLondon with Donald Trump. I mean @ginandting, who has Donald Trump's haircut. And attitude problem. | ||
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gretawire
Donald Trump: http://t.co/rNhp4TKx
4 hours ago from twitterfeed
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WendyWilliams
Find out what Dan Rather thinks about @realDonaldTrump 's birther comments and their effect on @mittromney. Do u agree? http://t.co/MHnVhxv5
5 hours ago from HootSuite
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Shoq
That's not hair. It's polycarbonate. RT @ArtALayman: .@Shoq @RealDonaldTrump I'm supposed to hold him down so Romney can cut his hair!
5 hours ago from TweetDeck
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Shoq
Please follow @RealDonaldTrump. One of us may get close enough to light that fuse sticking out of his ass. #p2 #FF
5 hours ago from TweetDeck
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NCDemParty
Does @PatMcCroryNC condone @realdonaldtrump's extreme birther claims about President Obama? So far he's been silent.. #NCPOL #NCGOV
5 hours ago from HootSuite
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TheDailyEdge
BREAKING: @RealDonaldTrump Gives Obama an 'A' on Foreign Policy: "He's Really Improved Kenya's Standing in The World"
21 hours ago from web
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WendyWilliams
Tomorrow, legendary newsman Dan Rather talks about #gaymarriage, @realDonaldTrump, @mittromney and more. cc @danratherreports
22 hours ago from HootSuite
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| BuzzFeedAndrew Yes. RT @realDonaldTrump: Does anyone believe that @BarackObama did not fully write or review the 1991 publisher booklet? | ||
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mediaite
Coiffe Medicine: David Axelrod Blasts 'Fool' Donald Trump's Hair On The War Room (VIDEO) http://t.co/sg8YB1WH (COLUMN)
1 day ago from Tweet Button
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| gastropoda RT @dvnix: Seeing "Puppetry of the Penis" on a date with Virginia Foxx. @realDonaldTrump: What could be better than dinner w/@MittRomney& | ||
| GotchaMedia Jon Stewart thanks the Comedy Gods for delivering the gift of @realDonaldTrump in a golden package on @TheDailyShow: http://t.co/74TYgJxh | ||
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TheDailyEdge
Donald Trump: "I'm a Very Smart Guy. But Only If You Put Me in the Same Room as That #BloviatingIgnoramus Joe Walsh" http://t.co/beiezn39
1 day ago from web
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| mmfa ICYMI -- The result of media's terrible priorities: The Donald trumps climate change coverage in broadcast news http://t.co/eXVe0Kng | ||
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mmfa
Sean Hannity last night: "You know who I am really happy with? Donald Trump" http://t.co/3je5UmUg #really
1 day ago from web
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Trump doesn't know the meaning of the word.
Possibly.