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Richard Geldard

Richard Geldard

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Is Donald Trump a Klingon?

Posted: 03/28/11 09:47 PM ET

Today we learn that the figure we know as Donald Trump has published a birth certificate, which we also learn is not official. As I have long suspected, the Trumpster has finally been exposed. Not only was he not born in the United States, thus rendering his presidential ambitions moot, but he was not born on this planet.

Have you ever wondered why Trump has always refused to show us his forehead, hiding it behind an absurd mop effect of hair? Why, you ask? Could it be that he is hiding his true identity as a Klingon, notable for their wrinkled foreheads and strange speech? Could his frequent expression "You're Fired!" be misunderstood by us and really be a Klingon order to begin the invasion?

Klingons, we know from Star Trek VI, have lurched perilously close to economic deprivation and environmental ruin. They are desperate to reverse their fortunes and have therefore sent The Donald to Earth to seize control of the White House, with the clear purpose, as Glenn Beck has told us, to turn the world over to Al Queda so that the Klingons can appear to save the planet, only to enslave human beings.

We know The Donald (as he is known by his people) has also lurched perilously close to economic ruin on many occasions, which tells us for certain that his Klingon roots are showing. His campaign to question President Obama's birthplace is only a diversion. His true intent is to destroy our way of life and set up a Klingon empire in Atlantic City, which already has aliens in residence there.

 
 
 

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03:29 AM on 04/06/2011
Klingon? Definitely not. The man has not fought a noble fight in his entire life. Ferengi, maybe. There, with a little growth hormone and some lobe surgery ... I can see that.
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DaneAZ
Trapeze Artist
02:11 AM on 04/04/2011
I'm not an expert - but aren't Klingons all about HONOR?

Trump doesn't know the meaning of the word.
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BlackJAC
It's better to be a black king than a white knight
06:07 PM on 03/29/2011
No, Donald is a Ferengi.  Any given Klingon would've long since challenged Donald to a d'k tahg fight over Donald's complete lack of honor.
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nermz345
floating somewhere over southern new jersey
02:59 PM on 03/30/2011
I was thinking the same exact thing. lol The Ferengi are the shifty business men
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CommodoreP
Darn the torpedos, full speed ahead!
02:36 PM on 04/01/2011
Hahaha. You guys rock! The only reason I read this article was the Klingon reference.
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Indigo1941
Time Traveler
04:12 PM on 03/29/2011
That makes lots more sense about The Donald than most commentators have to offer.
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02:40 PM on 03/29/2011
Heyyy.....not fair! I thought this post would have something about toilet paper.....and klingons....bummer.
02:22 PM on 03/29/2011
Funny stuff
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cheryl tobin
Alpha Dog with my pack!
10:41 AM on 03/29/2011
Sounds just as reasonable as "birthers" beliefs about Obama.
09:19 AM on 03/29/2011
Hilarious!
03:30 AM on 03/29/2011
He ain't a Vulcan that's for sure.
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CommodoreP
Darn the torpedos, full speed ahead!
02:37 PM on 04/01/2011
Lol
11:55 PM on 03/28/2011
You do not have to be smart if you are filthy rich like Trump! Trump always put down China, I bet if you look close enough, he does millions of dollars worth of business deals with them!
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BLGould
Webcams are a perfect excuse for guerilla theatre!
10:56 PM on 03/28/2011
Klingon?? PLEASE!! Klingons know NOTHING about profit! Ferengi? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferengi

Possibly.
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RedDogBear
11:45 PM on 03/28/2011
You beat me to it. Klingons value honor above all, Trump is no Klingon. I agree he makes a great Ferengi.
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laurieanichols
je pense donc, je suis
10:31 PM on 03/28/2011
chuni cho (beam me up Klingon brother, I'm too stupid to be on earth, I pissed people off)
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BlackJAC
It's better to be a black king than a white knight
06:13 PM on 03/29/2011
Actually, the proper Klingon translation for that is HIjol (pronounced kinda like cajole).
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laurieanichols
je pense donc, je suis
06:30 PM on 03/29/2011
Thanks and I love me some Trekkies!