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Richard Geldard

Richard Geldard

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Is Donald Trump a Klingon?

Posted: 03/28/11 09:47 PM ET

Today we learn that the figure we know as Donald Trump has published a birth certificate, which we also learn is not official. As I have long suspected, the Trumpster has finally been exposed. Not only was he not born in the United States, thus rendering his presidential ambitions moot, but he was not born on this planet.

Have you ever wondered why Trump has always refused to show us his forehead, hiding it behind an absurd mop effect of hair? Why, you ask? Could it be that he is hiding his true identity as a Klingon, notable for their wrinkled foreheads and strange speech? Could his frequent expression "You're Fired!" be misunderstood by us and really be a Klingon order to begin the invasion?

Klingons, we know from Star Trek VI, have lurched perilously close to economic deprivation and environmental ruin. They are desperate to reverse their fortunes and have therefore sent The Donald to Earth to seize control of the White House, with the clear purpose, as Glenn Beck has told us, to turn the world over to Al Queda so that the Klingons can appear to save the planet, only to enslave human beings.

We know The Donald (as he is known by his people) has also lurched perilously close to economic ruin on many occasions, which tells us for certain that his Klingon roots are showing. His campaign to question President Obama's birthplace is only a diversion. His true intent is to destroy our way of life and set up a Klingon empire in Atlantic City, which already has aliens in residence there.

 
 
 

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