Paradoxical as it may seem, I choose a day when I witnessed what was arguably the worst World Cup futball game ever played to offer a formal and deeply-felt apology to the billions of people I offended by characterizing their beloved game as akin to "watching paint dry."
I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Please note: that's two more "wrongs" in one short sentence than there were goals scored this afternoon in how many hours of play? How long was that game?
In the weeks I actually watched futball closely for the first time, I admit I saw things that were nothing less than astonishing. I saw men move their feet with the dexterity of Fred Astaire or, dare I say, Tommy Tune. I saw men use their heads in a manner which would have given Linda Lovelace pause. I witnessed painful injuries faked less convincingly than the days when Rowdy Rodney Piper climbed into the ring to grapple with George the Animal Steel. I saw acting performances which Sir Lawrence Olivier would applaud. I saw more real dirty play than anything Eric Nesterenko, Ty Cobb or Conrad Dobbler could have dreamed up on their most thuggish nights.
As a fascinated viewer, I experienced the unique magic of not having the slightest idea how much time was actually left when it appeared the half was over or the game itself finished -- not to mention the thrill of final victory as someone, seemingly by accident, indicated to the players that they should stop since the game really was over. I saw referee calls and non-calls that would have taken the Delphic Oracle to interpret. And I had the pleasure of watching all this occur in a stadium that sounded as if it was infested with a swarm of locusts come to announce The End Of Days producing a drone which plagued viewers from Alaska, to the Seychelle Islands.
So there you have it. All this wonderment I experienced thanks to the World Cup, except for those moments when I may have dosed off. Long live soccer! I mean futball. Congrats Espana! I can hardly wait for Brazil 2014. They don't have noisemakers there too, do they? Although I am a fellow of medium stature, I am big enough to know when I've made a terrible mistake. I apologize. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?
(I, Richard Greener, make these statements entirely of my own free will. I want to assure futball fans everywhere that I have in no way been influenced by the fact that since I wrote my original disparaging blog, my wife has forced me to sleep on the living room couch. She is Dutch so, considering today's outcome, I have no inkling when I'll be allowed back in my bedroom.)
Football is the world game - the most watched and played game in the world by some margin. The world loves the game. The World Cup Finals totally absorbed most of the world for a month. Most people watching would have no idea who Brett Fevre? is as the world really has no interest in American Football. The World truly loves football - 1 in 6 of the world apparently watched the final.
As an aside, cricket is the second most popular game in the world, another sport Americans have no idea about.
Well, from my totally personal und unrepresentative point of view, American "Foot" (harhar) and Baseball (I love Ice Hockey, though..., ;-) are the ultimate boring games, coming directly after Curling or Rhythmic Gymnastics e.a., but hey, if you like it? No problem. But why write (several times) so many words about a game that does not interest you a bit, as you declare - amazing ... Nobody in South America or Europe would invest any energy to write a similar article against strange and silly american sports, I think. But you are a crusader against the ugly unamerican football, and so you just have to do it, ok, ok, I understand.
BTW "Nationalism and utter nonsense": help me, how many countries were taking part in the last "World Series"?
Of course in my opinion, is better soccer than war.
Much as I enjoy soccer, I have to say it's obvious why so many Americans don't get it, and the author has touched on them all here: 1) not enough scoring; 2) not enough contact; 3) not enough statistics generated; 4) imprecise timekeeping; and 5) the USA is not (yet) competitive on the world stage which leads us to think of it as minor -- American teams ALWAYS win the World Series in baseball. Ha ha.
It's "Rowdy" Roddy Piper.
Couldn't even use the Google to get your misplaced references right, huh?
Good work.
This must be the only country on the planet where the sports writers appear to have little or no knowledge about the sports they choose to comment on. Only in America are people unembarrassed to say that they wasted their time watching something that bored them. The US Americans have a unique approach to sports and I don’t think they actually enjoy it very much, even their national sports.
You seldom hear them discuss the excitement of a match, the artistry, skills, techniques or athleticism of the players etc. Instead, what they do is spout a lot of meaningless statistics about a sport, discuss politics, make disparaging comments about individual players or repeat something they’ve heard, in order to appear knowledgeable,.
Furthermore, in countries where people actually enjoy sports, the focus is on sports and I’ve never seen the same level of sex scandals or the invasion into the private lives of players and non-sports drivel that is so prevalent in this sports section. Printed elsewhere, but NOT the sports section.
For me, what has been fun on these pages during the WC were the international posters and those American football fans who shared our sense of fun and enjoyment.
Bye America and hope you enjoy what’s left of the summer!