An Updated News Update for February 1, 2010

04/03/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

President Obama delivers first State of the Union (SOTU) speech. He says -- (Flash! New Bulletin!) We interrupt this News Update to bring you breaking news. Some Republicans in the Senate actually voted Aye! They voted to confirm Ben Bernanke for another term as Chairman of the Federal Reserve, disproving the notion they had collectively forgotten how to cast a "Yes" vote. Film at 11! We now return to our regularly scheduled News Update in progress.

In his SOTU, Obama says the State of the Union is "strong." What about change we can believe in? Has any President said otherwise? How about Lincoln in 1863?

The speech emphasizes that "It's the economy, stupid!" Finally!

The speech also zings Republican obstructionism, Bush Administration failures, Supreme Court decision on campaign finances and TV Pund-idiots. Finally!

Justice Alito shakes his head and mouths, "Not True," when Obama blasts campaign finances decision. Yo, Sam, it's not your venue. If you want to express an opinion, invite Obama to appear before you in court.

Rudy Giuliani claims on TV that Obama never used the word, "war," in SOTU. Wrong again, just like he said no terrorist attack occurred during Bush Administration. It looks like his memory is receding faster than his hair line.

The President ventures into the elephant's den and appears before House Republicans. Riveting TV ... like the British PM's question period in Parliament. The President appeals again for more (any?) bipartisanship. How about making this weekly or monthly event? Probably not, since Republicans came away with their tusks missing.

The Republican response to Obama's SOTU cites a quote from newly elected Republican Senator Scott Brown -- Election 2012, here comes Brown. Are you paying attention, Sarah Palin? Brown Buzz for 2012 premature expectation? Or maybe reflection of dearth of viable GOP potentials.

Haitian President Preval is criticized for silence and no public appearances after earthquake. (He said he was just trying to emulate George W. Bush after 9/11.

The loopy Rep. Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (Minn.) says she won't attend Tea Party Convention. Too Looney-Tunes even for her?

Somali pirates also announce they'll donate some money acquired from seized ships to Haiti relief. Do you suppose they've hired a PR firm?

The French display a 30-meter-high condom balloon to raise AIDS awareness -- not likely to appear in Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.