04/16/2007 12:17 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

April 16, 2007, News Update

Deadlock over funding for War in Iraq. Bombing in Green Zone. Surge in American casualties. Global warming crisis warnings. But America obsesses over offhand racially insensitive remark by schlock jock Don Imus. Glad to see we have our priorities straight.

President Bush invites Democrats to White House to discuss Iraq war funding bill. Will he be surprised to find out they're now in the majority?

Bombing of Iraqi Parliament in Green Zone shatters sense of "security." Iraqi equivalent of Tet offensive?

White House said to be looking for "Czar" to oversee wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Isn't that what the President, Secretary of Defense and Joint Chiefs of Staff are supposed to do? In any event, betcha it won't be Jerry Bremer.

But how about Paul Wolfowitz? He's about to get fired from the World Bank for providing favors for his girlfriend. Sleaze will out. As one of chief architects of war in Iraq, he surely would like to be there at the end.

Senator McCain calls for increase in American forces in Iraq, says he'd rather lose a campaign than a war. You'll lose one and the country has lost the other, Senator.

AG Gonzalez goes before Congress this week, saying he has nothing to hide. Except for a few missing e-mails. Perhaps they can be found in the Rosemary Woods Memorial file?

Imus fired from TV show for referring to Rutgers women's basketball team as "nappy-haired ho's." Guilty of practicing Hip-Hop without a license.

Also fired from CBS radio show. Anybody who apologizes to Al Sharpton doesn't deserve to have his own show anyway.

Unknown organization representing Hip-Hip says it doesn't engage in racial slurs. You gotta understand that "bitch" and "ho" are really terms of endearment.

Maya Angelou wonders what would happen if (C)rappers referred to Laura Bush as "bitch." Probably nothing--just another First Amendment case.

Hillary Clinton heading to Rutgers. She must really be worried about Obama taking away the black vote.

Senator Joe Lieberman defends Imus. Probably thinks "nappy-headed hos" means he supports war in Iraq.

Prosecutor drops all charges against Duke lacrosse players accused of sexually abusing black stripper. Wonder why we haven't heard from Al (Tawana Brawley) Sharpton and Jesse Jackson about this case.

Rogue prosecutor Mike Nifong sort of apologizes for his handling of the case. Only acceptable apology would be to pay students' legal expenses, except he won't have much of an income after being disbarred.

Florida Gators repeat as national basketball champions. But are they smarter than a Fifth Grader?

NASA reportedly paid more than $26 million to families of astronauts killed in Columbia disaster. Finally, some money well spent by the space agency.

David Stockman, Ronald Reagan's Budget Director, indicted on charges of fraud in bankruptcy of auto parts maker he headed. Now you know why Reaganomics were so screwed up.

UN, other organizations issue dire warning about global warming. Retired generals issue report calling it national security threat. White House not yet figured out which conservative think tank to enlist to refute them.

Larry Birkhead wins Anna Nicole Smith baby lottery. Whatever will Cable TV Nooze do now?