12/24/2007 03:13 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Dec. 24, 2007 News Update

Fire breaks out in Executive Office Building across from White House. No big deal. Just Cheney and his staff burning some old CIA interrogation tapes.

President Bush sends letter to North Korea. Addressed to Axis of Evil, Pyongyang, North Korea.

New York Philharmonic to perform in North Korea. Ping Pong diplomacy gets upgraded.

Condoleezza Rice asked at news conference to comment on Mike Huckabee's assertion that Bush foreign policy has arrogant bunker mentality. Replies "Look, I don't comment on other people's comments. I really don't have time to worry about that." Then spent next few minutes worrying about that and commenting on that.

New Rice biography says she decided against becoming professional concert pianist because she wasn't good enough. Should have stuck with it. Went into diplomacy and became Secretary of State even though she wasn't good enough.

President Bush says he hates the word "legacy." No wonder.

Time Magazine names Russian President Putin Man of the Year. Editors looked into his eyes and saw his soul--and decided he could be Man of the Year.

Associated Press names Stephen Colbert Celebrity of the Year. He's a lot funnier than Putin.

House of Representatives passes resolution saying Christmas and Christianity are important and expressing "continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide." Just in time to prevent any more Christians being thrown to the lions in the Colosseum!

Hillary Clinton imports Magic Johnson to help her with black voters in Iowa--both of them.

Rudy Giuliani campaigns despite bout with flu. Nothing serious.....Just result of toxic fumes he inhaled after 9/11.

Mitt Romney says he saw his father (Gov. George Romney) marching with Martin Luther King. Unfortunately, nobody else did. Not to be outdone, Mike Huckabee says one of his ancestors prayed with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Tom Tancredo drops out of Republican presidential race. Figured he couldn't win without the Hispanic vote.

Broadway Joe Namath finally gets degree from U. of Alabama 42 years later. At his pro signing, a reporter asked if he had majored in underwater basketweaving at Alabama. No, he said, that was too hard, I majored in journalism.

Sixteen-year-old Jamie Lynne Spears is pregnant. Doubt she'll be asking older sister Brittney for parenting advice.

Producer considering putting Brittney in role of Virgin Mary. Just another tired example of Hollywood type-casting.

Globalization celebrates Christmas, 2007. Naughty children don't get coal in their stockings. They get toys made in China.

Queen Elizabeth sets up Royal Website on You Tube. Guess this internet thing is here to stay. Her Christmas speech posted there. Mine posted here. Merry Christmas!