Feb. 19 2007 News Update

President George W (Bush) goes to Mt. Vernon to celebrate 275th birthday of George W (ashington). You'd think he'd want to avoid any comparison. USA columnist Al Neuharth celebrates by labeling George W. Bush "worst President in history." Millard Fillmore fans protest.

Dixie Chicks sweep Grammy's. Chicks hatched before their time.

Pop singer Ricky Martin gives Bush the finger over war in Iraq. Hey, it worked for the Dixie Chicks.

When asked "What went wrong in Iraq?" White House spokesman Tony Snow replies, "I'm not sure anything went wrong in Iraq." Where's Scott McClellan when we need him?

Senate refuses to debate resolution on Iraq. So much for "World's Greatest Deliberative Body."

Congress already finding ways to evade new anti-lobbying laws. Still world's greatest manipulative body.

Former Sen. Fred Thompson calls Libby trial "travesty." He's not a prosecutor, but he plays one on TV. And you gotta admit it was fun watching Tim Russert getting grilled on the witness stand.

Former UN Ambassador John Bolton criticizes nuclear disarmament deal with North Korea as "fatally flawed." Angling to become first US Ambassador to North Korea?

Ralph Nader describes Hillary Clinton as "bad version of Bill.' And you, Ralph, bad version of Harold Stassen? Or Pat Paulsen?

Jet Blue strands thousands of passengers, keeps them on tarmac for hours, cancels even more flights. Airline now known as Jet Blew It.

RJ Reynolds packaging Camels in pink to attract women smokers. Color of cancer unchanged.

GM considering takeover of Chrysler. On theory two wrongs make a right?

Controversy swirls over authenticity of recent discovery of works attributed to Jackson Pollock. Hard to distinguish fake crap from real crap.

Actor Ralph Fiennes has sex with stewardess on Qantas flight. Who does he think he is, an astronaut?

Former NBA star Tim Hardaway says he "hates gay people.' Doth protest too much?

Investigations continue into death of Anna Nicole Smith. Real Scandal? Cans of Slim Fast found in refrigerator of spokeswoman for TrimSpa.

Scientists report asteroid might hit earth in 20036. Maybe it will land in Iraq and provide exit strategy for US forces.

84-year-old man wins lottery. Not likely to take 30-year payout option.