03/05/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Feb. 2, 2009, News Update

President Barack Obama settled in White House. Think about this: A black man is elected to most powerful position in world and he's still living in public housing.

Mother-in-law moves in with him. As if he didn't have enough problems already.

So far, he's doing an amazing job.....two weeks and not a single cigarette.

Obama blasts Wall Street bankers as "shameful" and "irresponsible" for giving out nearly $20 billion in bonuses while accepting huge federal handouts. C'mon, Mr. President, you can do better than that. No Thesaurus in the Oval Office?

Banking executives explain they need to pay "retention" bonuses. Would it be impertinent to ask why you would want to retain people who screwed up so badly?

Citibank gives up plan to buy $50 million private jet after criticism from White House. Bulls and Bears on Wall Street still outnumbered by Pigs.

Rush Limbaugh, living up to his "big fat idiot" characterization, says he hopes Obama fails. What a patriot! Or maybe he's just overdosing on drugs again.

House Republicans, apparently paying attention to Rush's big fat idiocy, do not vote in favor of Obama's stimulus plan. Hey, Republicans, you worried the Democrats might clean up the horrible mess you created?

Obama Administration already stimulating economy as Treasury Secretary Tim Geitner and former Sen. Tom Daschle pay back taxes and interest.

Unemployment figures reach 16-year high. They now include impeached Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, who's now Bla-gone-evich. So much for presumption of innocence.

They also include, fortunately, George W. Bush, who can't even get a book contract.

Mega-swindler Bernard Madoff whines about being under house arrest in his multi-million-dollar penthouse apartment. Poor baby Bernie... If it weren't for a couple of judges lacking judgment, he'd be enjoying the penthouse suite at Rikers Island.

Neocon William Kristol fired as Op-Ed columnist for New York Times. Kristol had a column in The New York Times?

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