Feb. 5 News Update

02/06/2006 11:14 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

In State of the Union Address, President Bush says United States is addicted to oil. Pusher Cheney applauds in background.

Bush, who knows first hand about addiction, says best way to beat it is through high technology. Why no mention of helping Big Oil to find Jesus and becoming born-again?

President mentions switch grass as alternate fuel source. Huge triumph for Switch Grass Lobby just prior to would-be lobbying reform.

You say you don't know what switch grass is? You still don't know if you read the New York Times analysis of the energy portion of the speech.

President also mentions ethanol as alternative fuel. Doesn't explain why US imposes 54 cents per gallon tariff on Brazilian ethanol.

President praises democracies in speech, saying they "respect the rights of their citizens and their neighbors." Except for Cindy Sheehan's right to sit in attendance at the invitation of a member of Congress.

President proposes cuts in Medicare and health care while preserving tax cuts for the rich. Conservative all right, but compassionate?

Rep. John Boehner of Ohio named new House majority leader as surprise winner. DeLayed reaction?

Massive corruption uncovered in so-called reconstruction efforts in Iraq. I'm shocked, shocked, to find out there's corruption in a place where everything else is going so well.

Hussein trial descends into chaos. Time to call in Judge Judy?

Secretary of State Condi Rice says Administration was caught off guard by results in Palestinian elections. CIA's reaction: Elections? What elections?

CIA chief Porter Goss says revelations about NSA spying without warrants very harmful to national security. So does that mean that when the NSA got a warrant beforehand, the terrorists knew they were being spied on, but when the NSA didn't get a warrant, the terrorists didn't know they were being spied on?

Quick--Who's the new Miss America? So what happens in Vegas really does stay in Vegas. Next year in Jerusalem?

Judge Samuel Alito confirmed as Associate Justice of Supreme Court. Roe v. Wade futures plummet.

Coach of US Olympic skeleton team fired. What? You didn't we know we had a skeleton team?

Ben Bernancke succeeds Alan Greenspan as Chairman of Federal Reserve. First order of business: Greenspan's speaking fee a threat to fuel inflation?

Exxon records $36 Billion in profits in 2005. Old Chutzpah: Abramoff selling pictures of himself with President Bush. New Chutzpah: Exxon trying to sleaze out of paying penalty for Exxon Valdez spill in Alaska.