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Jan. 21 News Update

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President Bush embarks on campaign to sell troop "surge" in Iraq. Public approval soars to 12%. NPR show dubs it "The Willy Loman Sales Memorial Tour."

In response to interview question, Bush says he views Iraq as "cracked egg," not "broken egg." How do you say Humpty-Dumpty in Arabic?

Bush also complains Iraqis not shown enough gratitude for what Americans have done for them. They just haven't found polite way to say, You've really screwed up our country.

Bush's approval ratings dip to all-time low. That's news?

Former Sen. Rick Santorum says "Good for him" about Bush's ignoring the public will and Congress on Iraq. And good for the voters of Pennsylvania in dumping Santorum.

SecState Condi Rice goes to Middle East to drum up support for new Iraq strategy, does not lecture Egypt about democracy. On-the-job training paying off?

Faculty members at SMU rebelling against establishing Bush Presidential Library there. How about Alabama Air National Guard Headquarters as the site?

White Counsel Harriet Miers replaced by Nixon era lawyer. Good enough for the Supreme Court, but not good enough to fend off Democratic Congressional investigations?

House Democrats vote to repeal humongous tax breaks for Big Oil. Oil companies react by raising gasoline prices.

Democrats also pass drastic ethics reform. How long will it take for Congress to find loopholes?

Sen. Barack Obama enters race for President. Or, as Fox News might have reported it, Sen. Barack HUSSEIN Obama (rhymes with Osama) throws his fez into the ring.

Hillary Clinton goes on internet to announce plans to run for President. Hoping for the Google vote?

Colorado Republican Tom Tancredo, anti-illegal immigration crusader, also declares himself candidate for President. Don't take this too seriously. He just wants to be Duncan Hunter's running mate.

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson adds Hispanic spice to presidential race. Doesn't have to worry about losing Hispanic vote to Tancredo.

Former President Jimmy Carter criticized by Jewish groups for writing controversial book likening Israel's treatment of Palestinians to apartheid in South Africa. Didn't he learn when he was in the White House not to antagonize the Israeli Lobby?

Iran's ruling clerics criticize President Ahmadinejad. That'll teach him to hold a summit with a kook like Hugo Chavez.

Miss New Jersey USA resigns because she's pregnant. Who does this pageant think it is, the NBA?

Donald Trump gets star on Hollywood Boulevard. Immediately tries to buy it with other people's money and change name to Trump Boulevard.

Home Depot chief Robert Nardelli resigns under fire, gets $210 million for doing lousy job. Guess you won't find him in the do-it-yourself aisles.

Atlanta QB Michael Vick investigated for trying to sneak water bottle containing marijuana aboard airplane. That's really stupid. You put in a shaving cream tube in your toilet kit.