THE BLOG
01/25/2011 10:56 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Jan. 24, 2010, News Update

JAN. 24, 2010, NEWS UPDATE

President Hu of China makes formal trip to United States. Primary purpose of trip was to visit his money.

For Hu and President George W. Bush, Google "Daily Motion Hu and Bush," with Hu playing Abbott and Bush playing Costello.

President Obama tries to put more Hu into Human Rights in China. Why does every White House keep flogging a dead dragon? Instead of emphasizing something we can do absolutely nothing about, why not focus on really important matters, like the quarter trillion dollar trade deficit with China that costs tens of thousands of American jobs?

New House Speaker John Boehner snubs White House dinner for Hu. (See below).

President Obama to deliver annual State of the Union speech Tuesday night. Wanna bet the "state" will be "strong." But...

Republican majority in House votes to repeal health care reform. Wants to turn "ObamaCare" into "NoCare." Hey, whatever happened to the idea of "jobs first" on the national agenda?

South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint and NJ Gov. Chris Christie not going to Conservative Political Action Convention because of participation by gay Republicans. So much for the "big tent." Besides, don't you guys know that Don't Ask, Don't Tell has been repealed?

New York Pest reports Dick Cheney pondering heart transplant. As usual, Pest gets it wrong -- he's pondering heart implant.

Former Ariz. Gov. Mike Huckabee leads poll of potential Republican presidential candidates in 2012, including Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney, Michelle Bachmann, Tim Pawlenty and Donald Trump. White House must be quaking in its electoral boots.

Conn. Sen. Joe Lieberman says he won't run for re-election in 2012. His farewell party to be held in telephone booth.

Comedian Ricky Gervais mocks Hollywood with vitriolic humor at Golden Globes Award show. Ignores all the stupid people who watch the show.

Iran outlaws production of all Valentine's Day items. Mullahs obviously got tired of all those burka jokes.

Keith Olbermann abruptly and mysteriously leaves MSNBC. Was it something Glenn Beck said? Doubtful...

Regis Philbin abruptly announces he's leaving morning show with Kelly Ripa at end of year, apparently because of pay dispute. Apparently figured he couldn't get by on less than the $16million/year salary he gets now.

FBI carries out largest one-day roundup operation against Mafia in organization's history. This never would've happened if Marlon Brando were still alive. What's next, Jersey Shores?

Court rules Rahm Emanuel can't run for Mayor of Chicago because he was a resident of Washington for past two years. Emanuel reacts by saying he's certain "we will prevail." Real reaction unprintable. Ruling judge has new series of nicknames.

Top 10 Reasons John Boehner Didn't Attend White House Dinner for Chinese President Hu

10. He was annoyed that people kept asking him, Hu is the President of China?

9. Half an hour after eating with a Chinese President, he's hungry again.

8. He weeps during formal dinner toasts.

7. He was afraid Hu would be displeased that his orange coloring was not Mandarin.

6. Awkward with chopsticks.

5. Found out he was being seated next to Nancy Pelosi

4. Was too busy repealing health care reform.

3. Once swore he would never have dinner with a Communist for all the tea in China.

2. White House didn't consult with Republican majority in House on dinner menu.

1. Found out all dinner plates and glasses and silverware were made in China.