JULY 28, 2008, NEWS UPDATE
President Bush tells American "atha-letes" he's all fired up about going to Olympics in China. Good thing there 's no competition in the category of pronunciation.
Barack Obama tours Middle East and Europe. Gets good grades for passing Foreign Affairs 101 from everybody except John McCain.
Obama's trip to Israel interpreted by media as effort to win Jewish votes in election. Will there ever come a time when American Jews vote for what's best for America instead of what they think is best for Israel?
While there, he notes that "Israel is a strong friend of Israel's."
But what do the Palestinians think about that?
Obama's speech in Germany draws over 200,000 people. Germans favor him 4-1 over McCain. Too bad he's not running for Chancellor.
State Department forbids foreign service officers from attending Obama speech. Is there any way left for the Bush Administration to disgrace itself? Probably, since it has six months left.
While Obama in Germany, McCain shows up at German restaurant in Columbus, Ohio. Couldn't find an IHOP?
McCain spends week in interviews and ads criticizing Obama, no mention of any positive proposals. Maybe Phil Gramm was right-You're just a whiner.
McCain, who faults Obama on his foreign policy experience, says he's worried about problems on Iraq/Pakistan border. And well he should be-if they had a border.
During trip, Obama refers to his membership on the Senate Banking Committee-"my committee." Oops. Not on that committee. Perhaps if he had spent more time on Senate business, he'd have remembered what committee he's on.
Some pundidiots speculate about Obama/Colin Powell ticket. Affirmative action on steroids?
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said to be not committed to voting for McCain. No big deal. He's already got a George Bush albatross, doesn't need another one.
Newspaper tabloids say John Edwards has mistress and love child. Guess he won't be on Obama ticket.
Democrats rule out fried foods at Denver Convention. Ain't no way to win the South.
White House Budget Office reports budget deficit to hit record 482 Billion dollars. Like the Energizer Bunny, the Bush legacy just keeps going and going.
Government reports it now costs more to produce pennies and nickels than they're actually worth. No wonder there's a deficit.
Radio flatulator Michael Savage says 99% of kids diagnosed with autism are "brats who haven't been told to cut the act out." Why do people listen to a guy with 99% of his brain cut out?
Government report says Guantanamo prisoner asked for $800 suit to attend trial and got it. No surprise. After all, didn't former AG John Ashcroft say it was a "good place" for detainees?
Congress votes to bail out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac after they lost billions in subprime mess. Legislation contains no provisions for their respective CEO's to give back $14 million bonuses they got despite monumental screw-up.
Tabloid reports say Matthew Broderick cheated in NY with a 25-year-old while Sarah Jessica Parker was filming in LA. Sex in the Wrong City?