06/11/2007 12:59 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

June 11, 2007: News Update

President Bush attends G-8 meeting, gets stomach virus, misses some sessions. At least he didn't throw up on anybody. Or give German Chancellor surprise neck rub.

Bush pushes anti-missile system in Eastern Europe. Russia launches new anti-missile defense rockets. Hey, guys, anybody tell you the Cold War is over?

Bush chastises Russian leader Putin for thwarting democratic reform. Mr. President, Democracy begins at home.

General Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, canned. Obviously couldn't keep pace with "progress" in Iraq.

Scooter Libby gets 30 months in prison for lying to Grand Jury. Not fair? Defense lawyers expected to appeal on grounds President and Vice President not indicted for lying.

Judge imposes harsh sentence on Libby despite letters of support from Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle et al. To coin a phrase, with friends like that, who needs enemies?

Republican presidential candidates hold another debate. Theme: George W. Who?

Moderator Wolf Blitzer asks them to raise hands on various topics. Good thing they weren't under oath.

Democratic presidential candidates hold another debate. Theme: It's the other guy's fault.

Barack Obama said to be seeking advice from former Secretary of State Colin Powell on foreign policy matters. And former FEMA Director Michael Brown on disaster relief?

Hillary Clinton names Florida Congressman Alcee Hastings, impeached federal judge, as campaign co-chairman. Just wants to show impeachment not a big deal.

Sen. Joe Lieberman endorses military strike against Iran. Any way to impeach a Senator?

Pakistani President Mushaaraf cracks down on media. Maybe he got them mixed up with Al-Qaeda.

Fred Thompson moves closer to announcing run for President. Sam Waterston says he wants Thompson's job as DA on 'Law and Order." Make him run for it.

Paris Hilton released from jail, sent back to jail crying. Her lawyers to appeal, but she won't get to be Libby's cellmate.

New York Times headline on Federal Court's overturning of FCC's indecency policy: Expletive Policy Deleted. Who do think you are, Times, The New York Post? Decision effectively sanctions potty-mouthed President and Vice President, as well as colorful public discourse.

Immigration reform doesn't make it across Congressional borders. America remains safe for gardeners and pool boys.

Survey shows in last 100 Supreme Court arguments, Justice Clarence Thomas has not uttered a word. Wait 'til we get a pornograpy case before the court.

CNN anti-illegal immigration anchor Lou Dobbs accused of hoax in blaming immigrants for nonexistent rise in leprosy. Dobbs now investigating that guy with TB who flew all over the world.

Final episode of "The Sopranos." Ends not with a whack, but a whimper.

Filly wins Belmont Stakes for first time in hundred years. You suppose Hillary had a bet on her?