President Bush: I resolve to finish my "listening tour," then "surge" in Iraq and come up with a new way of saying "Stay the Course."
Vice President Cheney: I resolve to (Interrupted by Henry Whittington: I resolve never ever to go hunting with Dick Cheney again).
Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld: I resolve to write a book explaining why, in Dick Cheney's words, I was the finest Secretary of Defense this country has ever had.
SecDef Robert Gates: I resolve not to be Donald Rumsfeld.
Condoleezza Rice: I resolve to work on my golf game, since I don't seem to be doing much of anything else.
(Fill in the Blank) I resolve to start running for President.
Saddam Hussein: I resolve (Oops, never mind).
Vladimir Putin: I resolve to find more innovative ways to eliminate opponents.
Pope Benedict XVI: I resolve to get a new speechwriter.
Kim Jong Il: I resolve to give up my nuclear weapons program if Donald Trump will consult with me on a new hair style.
Donald Trump: I resolve to find out what's wrong with all those people out there who don't like me--or my hair.
Time Magazine: I resolve not to cop out on the Person of the Year in 2007.
Israel: We resolve to renew the Peace Process, except for maybe a new settlement here or there.
Iran's President Ahmadenijad: I resolve to prove that World War I was a myth.
Madonna: I resolve to adopt Angelina Jolie.
Congressional Democrats: We resolve to....to....we'll let you know.
Incoming Chairman of House Intelligence Committee Silvestre Reyes: I resolve to find out who Hezbollah is -also that Osama guy.
Rosie O'Donnell: I resolve to continue avoiding controversy on The View.
Mel Gibson: I resolve to make my next movie in Yiddish.
Michael Richards: I resolve to get a part in Mel Gibson's next movie.
Britney Spears: I resolve to open a charge account at Victoria's Secret."
Paris Hilton: I resolve to continue being a role model for young women everywhere.
Taco Bell: We resolve to take spinach off the menu.
Sylvester Stallone: I resolve not to make Rocky VII....unless.
Ann Coulter: Same as last year--to write another outrageous work of fiction.
OJ Simpson: I resolve to write a book that ---Who Cares?